All:
First off, on paper I have the academic credentials and SAT scores to get into Cornell. I have worked really hard to meet or exceed those standards. Cornell is my first choice and I will apply early action in November.
But I’m really struggling with the essay prompt for the College of Engineering. For reference, the essay question is at the bottom of this post. The question is pretty straightforward but I am having a hard time connecting my extracurricular passion for the last 10 years with why I want to be a Biomedical Engineer.
In short, I have been a competitive Irish Dancer for 10 years, going to daily practice, spending up to 12 hours per week until finally reaching the level of Open Champion, the highest level possible. It has taken it’s toll on my knees and ankles. I’ve sustained a lot of injuries and at just 16 years old I ache all the time. There’s also a history of degenerative joint disease in my family so its inevitable I will also feel its effects. My grandfather has had 5 major joints replaced with artificial ones - two knees, two shoulders, and a hip. Despite that he is nearly unable to move and spends most of the day in a chair. My father is also showing signs. After a lifetime of mountaineering he’s had 2 knee surgeries and can’t get through the day without pain killers.
Unfortunately I don’t have any lab or research experience other than AP science courses in high school, but I do know joint disease first hand and Cornell is doing wonderful things with ligament and cartilage regeneration. In fact, I spent some time at Cornell during my visit this spring chatting with the Associate Dean of Biomedical Engineering. He even took me through the labs and showed me how they can 3D print new, live tissue. I was excited and knew that’s what I wanted to do. In other words, I can name drop a professor and even name the individual labs rooms I visited in my essay if necessary.
I just want to find a creative way to bridge the topic of my dancing career with biomedical solutions. I want to be on the cutting edge of helping people like my father and grandfather without sounding like I’m begging.
Anyone have any advice?
College of Engineering prompt: Tell us about an engineering idea you have, or about your interest in engineering. Describe how your ideas and interests may be realized by—and linked to—specific resources within the College of Engineering. Finally, explain what a Cornell Engineering education will enable you to accomplish.
I’m no expert on these things, but in my opinion, I think it’s perfect to write something that you are very passionate about and how Cornell is the right fit for you. I believe a genuine interest and desire in Cornell is exactly what they are looking for.
It sounds to me like you already have your essay. If you’re looking for reassurance, I say go for it.
Personally, I think my essay was very poorly written (I sent a draft version by mistake…). I think this may provide a good hint about the admission process – if you have a strong profile, then the admission people probably will allow one or two “mistakes” to be forgiven. For example, even though the essay was poorly written, it still offered an additional view about me as a candidate (in how I interconnected my passions for sculpture and technology)
I would rather think about this Engineering essay as an additional opportunity to paint an additional dimension about yourself with the admission people. I don’t think it should be seen in isolation. If you already gave this information about Irish dancing in other part of your application, you may reconsider changing those other parts to cover additional interesting dimensions about yourself and, then, go deep about your passion for dancing in the engineering essay, and how this passion could be transferred to your endeavours at the college of Engineering.
I am not sure whether you are using the same essay for other schools. I used the same one I wrote for Cornell Engineering for Carnegie Mellon (with the same grammar errors), and I was accepted there as well. So, it seems these Engineering essays are not necessarily about your technical prowess, but how much passion, persistence and diligence you may have. If you have these qualities for dancing or barbeque cooking – I don’t think it would mind! It is just a question of making a compelling case these qualities can be applied to your long-term goals.
@KloudKoder thanks for the feedback. So you’re saying you were accepted to Cornell and Carnegie Mellon with a draft version of your essay? I’d love to know what your other credentials were (academics, extracurriculars, etc.). At least it would give me an idea of what kind of student I’m replying to. Would you be willing to share your essay offline, just so I could see how your draft was structured? You can PM me.
By the way, which school did you end up going to? Thanks.
FWIW, I think what you describe in your original post could certainly form the basis of a strong essay. Frankly, your personal voice is so important in this process, I wouldn’t take much detailed advice from others. My daughter surely ignored all of my suggested edits and was admitted to Cornell! LOL
@Cotopaxi It was not the original first draft… But it was a draft. There were a few typos and disconnect words… I think I got really lucky. 
As a Cornell biomedical engineering major, I can tell you you already have a great story for your essay from your initial post. I remember relating how my medical issues with my heart, growth hormone injections every day, leg length discrepancy operations, all led me to have a deeply personal love of medicine, inciting a desire to contribute to the field through biomedical engineering, in my essay.
You can write a similar essay. Relate how much you love dancing, but are sad that joint issues may prevent you from ever doing it again one day and have already hurt your family. Then relate that that’s why you want to fix it in the future with a biomedical engineering degree. Because I swear, I can feel your passion through your post. And that’s what you need to show Cornell in November. Name dropping professors, though more so the general experience, might help, as well, if you can squeeze that in as well. The experience, and your joy of it, is what will matter more, I say.
You’re lucky that you know you want your focus on degenerative joint disease, I wasn’t so sure about any subfield of biomedical engineering at the time.(and still don’t know what my concentration will be) Use that to your advantage!