Essay that Received Wrong Grade

Test Preparation
1

<p>Is majority bad? Blah, blah.</p>

<p>As James A. Reed said, “The majority grinned and jeered when Columbus said the world was round.” Although the quote may be a clique, it is a remarkable little maxim. The majority can often be a poor guide because people are swept up in the furvor of popular opinion. Anybody who dare go against the majority are labeled as sinners and traitors. However, the majority is comprised of human beings, and human beings do not always have the right answers. As shown in Romeo and Juliet and the Spanish American War, the belief of the majority is frequently an errant guide.</p>

<p>In Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, we see that the consensus of the two ruling families is poor regarding the issue of love. Romeo and Juliet are two young lovers from two different families, the Montegues and the Capulets, respectively. However, these families are engaged in a centuries-long feud. This means that the Montegues strictly prohibit Romeo from seeing Juliet and vice versa. These two families do not see, though, that these two lovers mean no harm toward the other family and just want to be with one another. Romeo and Juliet courageously ignore the majority opinion of their two families and strive to be with one another. However, their love turns tragic when both of them commit suicides after they cannot be with one another. Tragedy was not all that came out of Romeo and Juliet’s love affair, though, at their funerals their families realize that they were misguided and reconsile with each other. Clearly, the opinion of the majority was a poor guide in Romeo and Juliet’s case.</p>

<p>While the majority’s voice concerning love was poor in Romeo and Juliet, the opinion of the American populus and government was wrong in the 1898 Spanish American War. During this time, the U.S. was seeking to expand its influence around the world. However, the U.S. was paranoid because of Spain’s territory, Cuba, which sat a mere ninety miles off Florida. These tensions were further heightened when the USS Maine sunk off the shore of Cuba. However, instead of conducting a thorough investigation, the U.S. inavded Spanish Cuba because of this. The population was swept of in this and anyone who disagreed with the war was called a traitor. Surely, the majority opinion was wrong in the Spanish-American War.</p>

<p>Throughout history and literature, the majority voice is a poor guide. Next time, don’t be so sure to follow the majority.</p>

<p>This is the actual untouched manuscript from my essay. The part after next time did get cut off for some reason, leaving my intro have-finished. This might be why essay got an 8, but it seems like a bad reason.</p>

<p>Apart from that why else would this essay get a F U C K I N G 8!!! It was two pages long exactly, it described why majority opinion was bad in the intro paragraph. I’m ordering hand-scoring and seeing if the fact that my last sentence could be read would make any difference. WERE THESE GRADERS ON CRACK WHEN THEY READ MY ESSAY?</p>

<p>YOUR OPINIONS, people?</p>

2

<p>Bump Bump Bump</p>

3

<p>One general comment: You could have further elaborated on why the majority was wrong besides just through summary. They probably wanted some more critical analysis.</p>

<p>It’s really hard to say why exactly you got an 8. Maybe your readers happened to be more critical.</p>

4

<p>I noticed quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes. Also, you only have two examples and two body paragraphs. Besides that, I also thought you didn’t do too good of a job explaining the majority’s influence on the decision to enter the Spanish-American war.</p>

5

<p>IMO, you spent too much time actually explaining all the background behind your examples rather than elaborating on why they are relevant.</p>

6

<p>You can get a 12 with even one example. There’s one in the Blue book. It’s not the number but how well you use your examples.</p>

7

<p>Yeah, but not that many grammer mistakes. 2 body paragraphs are fine, that shouldn’t be criteria. It filled up two pages for crying out loud!</p>

<p>Lucky Charms, how could have I explained better? Keep in mind that there’s only 25 minutes to write the thing.</p>

<p>I personally think that the reason why I got the grade I got is because part of my conclusion was cut off. Solid critical analysis is almost impossible to do in two hand written pages in 25 minutes.</p>

<p>Thanks for your advice.</p>

8

<p>Grades, anyone? I honestly think that this essay is a 10 or maybe 11. I didn’t do thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat bad of a job explaining, right?</p>

9

<p>Haz, focus on improving your writing skills rather than blaming the markers. In my AP English class we marks a lot of essays, and this might receive a 4 or 5 out of a possible 9.</p>

10

<p>Im just saying the 11-12 essays on this site are about like mine. I say the main reason I didn’t get that is a few words got cut off (conclusion).</p>

<p>By the way, I do explain myself. I may give lots of background, but I do make the connection. I clearly make my points and do explain them. Remember this a 25 minute essay. Its not expected to be perfect.</p>

11

<p>collegeboard had previously said grammatical errors/spelling errors wouldn’t be penalized… if he wrote in ebonics it still would recieve a score based on format… that said i don’t see why this isn’t an 8 paper?</p>

12

<p>Why is this a 8 essay in your opinion? or did you mean why this is a 8 paper?</p>

13

<p>ooh… sorry i should clarify… yea ur paper was pretty similar to mine and i got an 11… i don’t know… sorry :(</p>

14

<p>just as many others have said, i felt you spent too much of your essay writing background info. Also, while i was reading your essay, it didn’t seem to flow incredibly well meaning that it felt choppy at some points.</p>

15

<p>not bad, another example and stronger conclusion would have made it better</p>

16

<p>LOL sucks for you guys, THANK GOD i BARELYT missed the new SAT. OLD ONE RULES (well they all suck but its better)</p>

17

<p>embl514, yes, but you’ve gotta understand there’s only two pages. I filled up two pages. They also cut off part of my conclusion. The essay copy online had the top of a sentence missing. Besides, people here have written conclusion-less essays and still gotten 11’s and 12’s.</p>

<p>In short, is this a 10 essay? There still are many good points the essay has. I even give a reason in the intro why majority isn’t the best. That’s definately solid critical thinking there.</p>

18

<p>I used only two examples and got a 12, so the number isn’t important.</p>

<p>The reason why you scored so low is because EVERYONE used the same two examples. Rome/Juliet and Spanish War are great but common examples. The SAT writers read 100s of essays and they probably gives 6s to people who make them go “WOW,” so your main purpose should be to keep the readers awake! I talked about Federalist Papers 10 and Civil Rights Movement-two examples that everyone is familiar with but not “cliche/synonymous” with the topic of majority rule.</p>

<p>Your intro is more like a hybrid between a body paragraph and an introduction. Do not present a point in an intro! Keep it general and don’t present a definite arguement until your thesis! Columbus arguement on majority rule was also common too…</p>

<p>I love your transitions between paragraphs. You definately have talent. However, vary your sentence structure! The SAT loves complex sentences, so used them primarily and intersperse with simple ones. </p>

<p>I’m sure you’ll score higher next time. Just make an outline before writing!</p>

19

<p>ya, i wrote about the lord of the rings… lol</p>

20

<p>bongo:</p>

<p>I’m sure the Civil Rights movement was one that many people used. I know one of my friends did. The readers of the SAT like it when your present your thesis in the intro, which is what haz did. It’s part of the standard three example five-paragraph format (or two example four-paragraph).</p>