I have had family living in a War Zone, and last year I lost contact with them presumably because of artillery shelling damaging communication lines. However, it has been so long since then, they are probably dead. Should I discuss about this heart-wrenching experience and its impact on me or avoid it?
If that has been a trial that is meaningful to you, and if you can clearly articulate how it has shaped you, I don’t see why not. Keep in mind though, that many students write about the loss of loved ones (although I’m sure most don’t have circumstances as unique as yours), and how they’ve learned to “live life to the fullest” or “appreciate the people around them,” and cliches of that nature. It would benefit you to avoid vague life-lessons like that, and it might even make your essay more impactful to focus on the lives and relationship you had with your family, rather than just the tragedy that followed.
Does the uniqueness of my situation help or will colleges just find it another pity story? How do I ensure this does not come off as a pity story? Would it be good to tie in how this has influenced on an invention I am working on? @OnMyWay2013
Whether or not it sounds like a pity story really depends on how you write it.
These are some examples of different ways to approach the “death of a loved one” topic. They’re all written by actual people, so they all have their faults, and my analysis of them is my own opinion.
Some people will keep their language very “general” and do a lot of explaining instead of describing: http://■■■■■■■.com/kpnycgd
Others use a lot of description, but get caught up in the story. That’s understandable, since the event and the person are obviously important to the writer. But when the goal is to make the reader feel the same sense of sadness and horror that you did, without explaining how that event has shaped you, that’s when it turns into a “pity essay,” IMO.
Alternatively, some people dwell on the aftermath, especially if the person who died was a breadwinner or something. And now they have to work full-time and take care of their siblings, in addition to doing their schoolwork and being president of five clubs. And it all builds up to some type of “I learned to be resilient” or “I overcame all the obstacles thrown at me” ending, which is also trying to evoke pity, and, in my essay-reading experience, has become kind of overdone: http://■■■■■■■.com/m7xtqag
And then, an essay that stood out to me (while I was finding examples for you, lol). It may be confusing to you because a lot of it is in Spanish, and it lacks a little context. But I like it because it’s more about the impact of the family member’s life on the writer than her death. And it’s done in a way that focuses on the writer more than the loved one: http://■■■■■■■.com/l3ko87r
So basically, to make your essay stand out, it’s best to 1. Tell a story (dialogue, descriptions, all of that), and 2. Keep the focus on you, and your life. It would be great if you could tie your story to what you’re working on.
How close were the family members? Unless it’s your immediate family, it could be construed as a really cynical ploy to exploit advantage from other people’s tragedy. The nature of your questions suggest just that:
@GMTplus7 Uncle and Cousins.
Everyone construes things differently, so there is no knowing how AO’s will perceive it. If you do decide to go with it, the emphasis should be more on your invention and less on evoking pity.