<p>D is starting to work on her application essay. I have read that it is best to write about a positive topic, but also to be memorable. She is spending her junior year in Beijing, and her father recently died, unexpectedly. She came home for 3 weeks, then went back to finish the program. Would this be considered a negative topic, or would the fact that she is finishing and doing well make it memorable?</p>
<p>First, condolences to you and to your daughter. It’s must have been and continue to be tough on both of you. Kudos to your daughter for carrying on despite this.</p>
<p>The topic in itself is not negative. The general idea is that adcoms are reading, year in year out, many many essays about overcoming adversity. While the loss of her father was a huge event in your daughter’s life, what might make the essay stand out is not only her reaction but also the reaction of the Chinese friends, teachers, host family to the news and her relationship with them.</p>
<p>merryecho - Condolences to you and your daughter. I’ve very sorry for your loss, and hope you are doing OK.</p>
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<p>Your D’s essay might turn out fabulously. But I’d recommend she select another topic also, and work that essay in parallel. Moving on with one’s life after someone else’s misfortune is not special – it’s life. Your D may turn this situation into a special essay, and I hope she does. But if the essay starts to sound like “student loses several friends at Columbine HS, and yet returns to finish her senior year” well …</p>
<p>My condolences to you and your family. Hang in there.</p>
<p>My husband died when my oldest D was 8. She addressed this in one of her college essays by discussing her love of poetry and how it helped her to understand and remember her father. She used this same method of intertwining two somewhat disparate subjects into a common thread in her other essay. I think this helps to keep the essay from being negative or maudlin, while showing different facets of how the student thinks, feels and looks at life.</p>
<p>Thanks for all of the replies. Entomom- was your daughter accepted at the college of her choice?</p>
<p>I like the idea of using this as one essay, but also working on another topic. It might be cathartic for your D to write about her recent experiences, but the experience may be too fresh. If she’s pouring out her emotions for the first time in the essay, it would probably not be psychological healthy for the essay to be critiqued by others.</p>
<p>Seems too soon for the daughter to address this effectively in an essay…she is still reeling from the loss. I think the loss should be addressed in the counselor’s letter or recs.</p>
<p>Your daughter should not worry about whether or not to use this as an essay topic. I am sure if she feels like writing about it, it will be heartfelt and no one would consider it a negative. I have edited essays dealing with this topic and found them to be touching and often wise. If she chooses to write about something else, she should include a note about her Father’s death in the application where it asks, “Is there anything else you would like us to know about you?” Losing a parent in high school is obviously devastating and the full effects may not be apparent for a long time. Better to have it mentioned in November during the application process in case there is a delayed reaction to the loss that impacts her academic or other activities negatively during senior year. It is only natural for a person who is grieving to talk/write about their loss and I think most of us, including admissions personnel, accept this sad fact of life. You will know if the essay “feels” right once you read it. Good luck to and your family as you move forward through this loss.</p>
<p>Bessie- what a thoughtful and helpful reply. I am sure you are right, I am no doubt overthinking this. I am afraid my mind is going in circles lately. D comes home in 3 weeks, and life should feel more normal then.</p>
<p>My condolences to your family. I think your daughter should write about the topic … and then put the essay in a drawer for several weeks and come back to it at the end of the summer and look at it again. As you know, time can provide important perspective on writing, and such a personal and emotional topic is going to need all the perspective she can muster. For me, writing is often helpful in coping with grief, so I would suggest that your D put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard) even if she never ends up finding a pragmatic use for the essay.</p>
<p>merry,
Yes, she graduated HS in '07 and was accepted to all of her schools, including some of the most selective and several with merit scholarships.</p>