<p>Here is what came home today:</p>
<p>“Our classroom will be celebrating Christmas on Friday December 21st. Would you like to contribute?”</p>
<p>This is a public school!! They are not supposed to “establish religion”. This blows my mind. I feel like writing the room parent and telling her that she needs to change “celebrating Christmas” to “having a holiday party”, but I just know that tongues will be clucking… It’s signed by the teacher, but the room parent wrote it.</p>
<p>Relax. Have an egg nog. Having a party in a classroom isn’t anywhere near the Constitutional issue of Congress establishing a state religion. If no one is asking the students to drop to their knees in prayer, I would say it’s the nice, safe secular holiday that Christmas has devolved into.</p>
<p>It’s all too common, along with practices like coaches making high school sports teams pray before games. I applaud your dedication to the separation of church and state, but I suspect you will get some flames and incredulous reactions here, or most other places.</p>
<p>WashDad, I agree that holidays are a part of culture, and that culture should be taught in schools. I actually even agree that the tenets of religions should be taught, just as they would be taught in an anthropology class.</p>
<p>I would not be bothered if they were having a party celebrating “the holidays”. I may be wrong, but I believe that Jewish holidays are also celebrated around Christmas. Perhaps Muslim holidays as well. But their holidays will not be recognized. In fact, I have a feeling that many parents around here would be quite outraged if non-Christian holidays were “celebrated” rather than taught. </p>
<p>Now the bottom line is that I will be there, I will bring a treat, drink the eggnog, etc…, but I cannot help but think “What about the kid who violates his/her religious beliefs in ‘celebrating’ a religious holiday that he/she does not believe in”. How does that child go up against the teacher, the classroom, the entire community? </p>
<p>I never met a Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, or agnostic person until I went to high school. Or maybe I did, but the person was marginalized in my “Christian community”. </p>
<p>Funny thing, when I was in high school, and I started dating this boy. I told my grandmother his name and she asked me his religion. I was like “I have no idea.” So the next time that I saw him, I asked him if he was Catholic. He looked at me like I was nuts, kind of laughed, and said “No, I’m Jewish!” When I told my grandmother, she was kind of silent. I just didn’t get it, why the questions, why the silence. Now I do!</p>
<p>It is really important to me that my son be raised as an intelligent and cultured individual. I would like a more diverse community. I don’t see that happening when a school and community promotes Christianity.</p>
<p>Actually, what also blows my mind is that my husband’s company has “Good Friday” as an official company holiday. They are having a “Christmas luncheon” and the language is very strong that their will be a Chinese auction and contributions are expected. Then there is a Christmas Party put on by the employees themselves. Now granted, this is a private company, I suppose they have the right to do as they wish. </p>
<p>But this is the same company that also “does not hire women because the possibility of sexual harassment will cause problems”. This is not written, but it is spoken of amongst the workers. This really frosts me.</p>
<p>I actually think that my husband’s attitude has changed since he started working at this company.</p>
<p>Thursday I will be going to my daughter’s Winter Concert. They are always so beautiful and peaceful. And I do not mind that they sing “Christian music” in the least in this context. Undoubtedly, there are many beautiful Christian songs, and I don’t think that the program would not be very good if the director was forced to “sanitize” the program by eliminating Christian music. But an assortment of music is chosen.</p>
<p>I wish public schools would be more thoughtful, but I’m much more worried about other kinds of religious intrusion than I am about Christmas parties. I know a family that moved to a small town due to a parent’s career transfer. The grade-school-age daughter was ostracized and bullied on the playground for reasons having to do with religion, accent, and regional identity. The daughter sought help from her teacher, who told her to pray and accept Jesus, and that would stop the bullying.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t go to court over a Christmas party. A kindly worded letter to the principal in January is more in line with the offense.</p>
<p>A solution? Volunteer yourself to help!</p>
<p>Then as you pointed out a innocent mistake like that won’t happen on your watch. </p>
<p>problem solved!</p>
<p>Well Opie, I am one of the two room parents. The one other room parent volunteered from the beginning to handle drafting these types of letters to the parents, letters that solicit parents to donate to the classroom parties. The letter has already gone out. I feel that I will also be deemed responsible as the other room parent for the letter. But I also feel that it would cause a problem to write her at this point and say “In the future, you might want to be more sensitive…”</p>
<p>Also adding to my prior message, I became a room parent because last year there were too many kids in each class. I saw my son’s abilities decline, and I felt bad that I may have assisted with reading circles or something. So I volunteered to be a room parent. Several times, I have offered to come in and assist with reading circles, or anything else involving assisting the children with learning, for a couple of hours a week. The teacher brushed me off, simply handed me a paper listing party dates, and designated that I am to “call and remind these people what they are too bring”.</p>
<p>Now look, I have plenty of paperwork as a self-employed professional working out of a home office without staff. I don’t need more busywork. I wanted to be involved in my child’s education and to assist this school, which incidentally, we are the 2nd worst underachieving school district in our area. They spout that they want parental involvement, but when it’s offered…</p>
<p>And no, I have never been arrested or found guilty of child abuse, so there should be no real issue with me helping in the classroom, like parents did 20 years ago.</p>
<p>“They spout that they want parental involvement, but when it’s offered…”</p>
<p>I have a feeling I know the answer to this one, but it’s almost christmas after all. Well I’m getting coal anyway…</p>
<p>One thing to keep in mind, when you volunteer in a classroom, you are there to take direction and provide help unconditionally. You are there to support the teacher, 1st, 2nd, 3rd… If you aren’t willing to with a 100% effort, then realize your “help” may not be needed. </p>
<p>My wife’s taught for 30 years, when I come in to help it is probably the only time I am going to do what she says with a 100% commitment. Anything less is taking away her time teaching and I’m really not helping.</p>
<p><<“What about the kid who violates his/her religious beliefs in ‘celebrating’ a religious holiday that he/she does not believe in”>>
What are you talking about?!! As a Christian in high school, I wouldn’t feel obliged to go to a Kwanzaa or Hanukkah party. Also, if I had friends who celebrated different religions, which I do, I wouldn’t be bothered in (or feel as though I was “violating” my religious beliefs) by attending a innocent party, which I have. Your logic and ill-tempered reasoning on the issue is atrocious to say the least. It is not the religions who are discriminating and leaving kids/adults out, but rather people like you who are offended by different beliefs. </p>
<p><<i never=“” met=“” a=“” jewish,=“” muslim,=“” buddhist,=“” or=“” agnostic=“” person=“” until=“” i=“” went=“” to=“” high=“” school.=“” maybe=“” did,=“” but=“” the=“” was=“” marginalized=“” in=“” my=“” “christian=”" community".=“”>>
Again, what are you talking about? Maybe when you grew up in the 50’s or watnot this was true, but America is quite the melting pot (at least where I have grown up)</i></p><i never=“” met=“” a=“” jewish,=“” muslim,=“” buddhist,=“” or=“” agnostic=“” person=“” until=“” i=“” went=“” to=“” high=“” school.=“” maybe=“” did,=“” but=“” the=“” was=“” marginalized=“” in=“” my=“” “christian=”" community".=“”>
<p><<when i=“” told=“” my=“” grandmother,=“” she=“” was=“” kind=“” of=“” silent.=“” just=“” didn’t=“” get=“” it,=“” why=“” the=“” questions,=“” silence.=“” now=“” do!=“”>>
I don’t think you do get it… </when></p>
<p><<it is=“” really=“” important=“” to=“” me=“” that=“” my=“” son=“” be=“” raised=“” as=“” an=“” intelligent=“” and=“” cultured=“” individual.=“” i=“” would=“” like=“” a=“” more=“” diverse=“” community.=“” don’t=“” see=“” happening=“” when=“” school=“” community=“” promotes=“” christianity=“”>>
Ok, gotta admit I chortled upon seeing this one. Can he not be “intelligent” and “cultured” outside of Christian communities? Bottom line just like your husband who works at a “discriminatory” and “Christian”-oriented job, your son will have to face reality at one point or another. I am not saying that my religious views are greater than yours or your sons, but rather if you live life infuriated because a school or organization invited you to a friendly party, good luck finding happiness.
God Bless!</it></p>
</i>
<p>And to Hanna: What?
<<the daughter=“” sought=“” help=“” from=“” her=“” teacher,=“” who=“” told=“” to=“” pray=“” and=“” accept=“” jesus,=“” that=“” would=“” stop=“” the=“” bullying.=“”>>
Sounds a bit far-fetched to me, doubt anyone would actually say that… Even if so, simply because there are crazed radicals out there, from every religion, doesn’t mean religion is “intruding” upon the separation of church and state</the></p>
<p>And whatapainthisis, your dire situation is not unconstitutional. It wouldn’t make it past a civil lawsuit. Especially since the parents are organizing it and it is optional… Not trying to be rude, but before you go off on a tirade, learn your facts</p>
<p>Sorry to everyone if all that came off a bit mean… I just don’t agree with what is being said here…</p>
<p>Esmitty, the parents are not organizing it and it is not optional. The party is held during school hours in place of regular learning. And the parents are just used to contribute food. In fact, the teacher doesn’t even really welcome the parents to attend.</p>
<p>When a school performs so poorly that it is ranked as an underachiever, when most graduates go off to community college, when a school has had 3 principals in 3 years and a teacher says to me “This district attracts the worst of the worst, and they pick the best of the worst”, then I would think that teachers would be extremely grateful for parent volunteers.</p>
<p>They have a lot of parties, even for Valentine’s Day. Every party is hotdogs and watermelon. To me, this “party mentality” is a precursor to the beer swilling, sports fanatic, run off to grunt jobs and underachieving mentality that I see in the community. Yeah, we might not be good students, but we sure know how to PARTY!</p>
<p>By the way, I was raised in the 70s, not the 50s. And I remember a time when I could go home for lunch with my mom. I remember having a nap in Kindergarten. I remember my mom volunteering in the classroom with crafts and things. None of these things happen anymore. And we did pass out valentines, but we didn’t have full blown parties that encompassed the entire afternoon in school.</p>
<p>esmitty–it may sound “farfetched” to you, but incidents like this happen all the time in areas where the minority religions are, well, in the extreme minority. </p>
<p>One random example from when I was in HS in the 60s–this is when assemblies in a public HS would open and close with a prayer (also sounds farfetched, doesn’t it? 
)
I once led the prayer and made it to “God” rather than what many people in this largely rural area would do by force of habit and that is “in Jesus’ name.” Well, for that I was criticized!<br>
Edit: criticized by some teachers!</p>
<p>For many people, it’s Christianity, or no religion. Everyone else can just suck it up and be quiet. Which is why we need to have NO religious observance in public schools–to protect the minority from the majority. It looks to me like the majority is doing just fine, thankyouverymuch.</p>
<p>Our HS has lovely musical Winter holiday programs. Of course the choirs sing Latin religious music–we all understand that’s where most of the good music comes from. But this is not in a religious context.</p>
<p>And a classroom Christmas party, while apparently secular, still assumes “everyone” celebrates this holiday when in America today, “everyone” does not.</p>
<p>To the OP–Hanukkah is not necessarily “around” Christmastime. It follows the Hebrew calendar so may be earlier or later. This year it began Dec. 4 and ends tomorrow night. And Ramadan was a couple of months ago–it too follows a different calender; one which does not have the corrections built into the Hebrew calendar. Therefore Ramadan rotates around the year & falls earlier each year by 11 days (I think.)</p>
<p>In my D’s HS, the softball coach had the kids say a “Hail Mary” together before each game. The assumption was that everyone in town is Catholic. my Protestant D and one Jewish girl would stand awkwardly to the side. And this is in a fairly urban NJ town. This things definitely still happen. Even here, we call it a Holiday party and a Winter concert. But the coach hadn’t gotten the memo yet. :(</p>