Estate Sales

Parent Cafe
1

<p>My parents who are in their 80’s are moving from their large home of 45 years to a small apartment. After finally convincing them to put their house on the market, they had several offers the second day! As this happened so fast, they really didn’t have time to process what all would be involved. The loss of their home, finding a new place to live, deciding what to kept and what to sell and packing has been overwhelming for both of them as well as the family.</p>

<p>We know there is going to be an Estate sale, but the few companies I have spoken to seem to have different ideas and pricing. Most either hold a two day sale (usually a Friday and Saturday) and enter the home the Monday of the sale. It looks like this group gets $1500-$2000 or 25%, whichever is higher. The other group holds the sale Thursday-Saturday, maybe Sunday also if there is enough volume; their commission is 30% if the sales. Some groups reduce the merchandise by 25% or so each day after the sale until almost everything is gone.</p>

<p>I am limited as to which Estate Sale company I go with as we have to have a particular weekend and only a couple are available. Is there something I should ask these companies, or know in advance before making my selection? Three have already been to the house and the other is coming in a couple of days. My mother is having a hard enough time letting go of many of her “things’” I would at least like her to make some money off of the sale to cover her moving and other costs.</p>

2

<p>I would hesitate to rush before she has time to process - I know there is a timeline but her life and your relationship kind of hangs in the balance. I would hate for things that were particularly special or hold family significance to be sold before she has time to go through them.</p>

3

<p>Argghhh! Too fast. Any way to slow down the process? Unless they are READY to make the change it is WAY overwhelming.<br>
I have a hard time sorting through my kid’s stuff and throwing it out. If I HAD to be downsize tomorrow–I couldn’t. It would have to go into storage. Not because I’d miss stuff but just because I’d have to process all the memories that would be involved and mixed up in the things that I’ve saved all these years
I would slow down–get a storage unit and work from there.<br>
Lots of stuff will go easily–kitchen stuff, bedding, most furniture, books (there will be keepers).
Focus on big bulky stuff–the furniture, plants, over abundance of clothing, kitchen stuff (glasses, plates, rarely used bulky items). Garage stuff.
Skip trying to downsize jewelry, cherished antiques etc. Pictures–save them all and sell the frames.
Don’t alienate your parents in this process–it’s easy to do. You say you convinced them to put their house on the market. Sorry, but that should have been their decision. </p>

4

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<p>Agreed. It felt very rushed when an older friend only had six weeks to sell a decent sized 3 story & basement house because the bank called in a mortgage…especially considering his parents had the house for 4+ decades. </p>

<p>2 days is far worse. This is something which needs to be planned out at least a few months in advance. </p>

<p>Your parents must also be 100% on board with this and rushing them isn’t likely to make them very receptive to you…or for your relationship in the long term. </p>

5

<p>There are probably very good reasons for the 80+ parents to move to an apartment. I’m sure the OP needed to convince them they were no longer able to do the upkeep of the house and yard maintenance and other logical reasons to move. It is so easy to have inertia and stay in a familiar rut. I’ll bet they expected more time to decide what to do with all of the stuff- could the closing date allow more time?</p>

<p>Definitely do not just store stuff to be dealt with later. They/you don’t need to keep paying to keep stuff you never see/use. We downsized when we moved OOS. Kept some of son’s childhood stuff but made him take most or it was given away. We took a lot of pictures of his toys and our bookshelves before culling the books. </p>

<p>Take photos for memories- Picasa is great for being able to see the house inside and out, with the furniture et al in place. Also good for those things accumulated over the years. </p>

<p>We don’t like clutter so it was easier for us. One of our new neighbors- a 70’s aged couple- has so much stuff everywhere it is far too busy for me. </p>

<p>Your parents may find it refreshing to have been forced to downsize. So much less to clean! A new start without living in the past. Moving is one of the major stressors on the list- it will take a year to adjust. They may discover a new lease on life without being buried in their past. Accentuate the positive- they aren’t dead yet and deserve a life with the freedom to have what they currently favor instead of decades of past decisions.</p>

6

<p>Do you know what the company does with the items that are left over? Do they arrange for pick up (donating)? Does the company bring in items from other homes? Will they take items that don’t sell for future sales? (Important if there are costly items that don’t sell). </p>

<p>Have you already indicated which items go with your parents or other relatives? One thing to take into consideration is that the market for collectibles is very weak right now. </p>

7

<p>I may not have worded my original post as well as I would have liked. My parents need to move from their home for several reasons, ranging from they can’t afford the upkeep or the mortgage, and the size and the stairs are getting to be too much for them. My parents consider themselves young, and are currently living independently; My father has a bad heart, diabetes and Parkinson’s; his healthcare cost alone is more than they receive in Social Security. So yes, they had to sell the house.</p>

<p>It is so much my mother doesn’t want to part with a lot of her belongings, it is just putting a hand and every piece she has and deciding if she want to take it with her or sell it. The furniture is not a problem and the other things won’t be either, it is again, just having to pull everything out and figuring what goes in which stack! The grandchildren have already called dibs on the artwork and china they want, so that was easy, although it is all still in the house as my son live out of state and my daughter out of the country. I am bringing to my house what my kids think they want; we can always sell it later if need be. What there is an over abundance of is kitchenware as my mother was, and still is, a huge cook. She will not have room in her apartment for all these items, so I told her I would keep things in my basement and will bring them to her when she needs them for holidays and such. I am pretty sure she has at least a dozen 9x13 pyrex dishes; don’t think we will ever need all of them unless she goes into a catering business :wink: </p>

<p>My father’s office has 50+ years of paperwork from his previous business, including cashed checks, tax records, deeds, etc… He has been going through all of that and taking boxes of papers to free shredding events around the city. The family photograph and picture albums have been boxed and are at my house; not exactly sure what I am going to do with 30 albums of their vacations with friends, but I am holding on to them.</p>

<p>My parents are excited about the apartment they found and looking forward to not worrying about what to do when the roof leaks, or the furnace needs replacing, or removing the tree that fell across the driveway. Why this is a big adjustment for them, I know the relief of not being homeowners is welcome. We are going to the apartment Thursday to do some measuring to make a final decision as to what piece will fit, and which they should take with them. Once we know what goes where, we can figure out which of the decorative table piece and artwork go with them.</p>

<p>As far as the Estate Sale people, most have a someone that will take what is remaining either to a charity of their choice or mine. One company has a guy that you pay to pick up the unsold items and he takes it to the dump; we are not doing that. Most likely we will have someone put everything remaining in the garage and arrange for a charity of our choice to pick up which will allow my parent to have the tax deduction for the year. While there are mostly nice things in the house, there is plenty of crap! Old magazines, plastic storage containers, old luggage; as they say, your junk is someone else treasure! There is nothing collectible in the house that is going into the sale; it either goes with my parents, or to one of our homes. </p>

8

<p>That phrase “Estate Sale”… I think of it as what is done after someone dies. And if someone comes into the house to look at stuff, they may think so as well, and say crass things about the items in the house. If your parents are present, it could really hurt their feelings. I think a “Moving Sale” makes more sense.</p>

<p>I am sympathetic to how much work this is, I have been trying to get ready to downsize – just me and the dog who really need to decide what to keep and what to get rid of, and it is still very difficult.</p>

9

<p>My mom did this when she moved to assisted living. I think the company we used got 20% and it was only one day, a Saturday. She included her car and the house. It was two or three weeks after she had already moved away. Sad but necessary. Good luck. I’m sure whoever you choose will do a great job. We were pleased.</p>

10

<p>My dh actually does estate sales for a living. But one of his services I’d to sit with the elderly person and go through the items that the family hasn’t already claimed. This takes the emotion out of the process and really makes it go faster. He is very nice about it and understands but his clients seem to look at it as a business transaction and not a “remember every casserole that was baked in that dish”. He charges a flat fee or hourly rate. He also has a minimum amount or 35% contract. </p>

11

<p>I go to estate sales all the time. Interesting to get a glimpse from the other side. I would ask about their advertising. How do they get bodies in the door? There are a couple of marketers that I get emails from weekly updating me on what sales are in my area during the coming week. </p>

12

<p>We just went through this with my FIL’s house (he died). We didn’t use a company because the stuff wasn’t likely to be worth the $1500 for the sale!!! We did it ourselves,and no one wanted kitchen stuff,upholstered furniture, appliances, and most of it. We had pay to get rid of most of it after doing a sale ourselves. We also donated some stuff. Unless you have some good wood furniture pieces, mirrors, antiques, perhaps crystal (but not china), you are unlikely to sell much. My H and I go to estate sales and although I have seen people buy sofas and bedroom sets, those looked to be in excellent condition and good quality. 30+ year old stuff that wasn’t the best of the best won’t fetch much. I would really try to get a good understanding of what they think it is worth before agreeing on a minimum of$1500 for the cost of the sale. </p>

<p>Good luck</p>

13

<p>estate sale is a great idea. If at all possible, pick the one with the best reputation in town, you might be able to call estate planning lawyers and get a reference. </p>

<p>I had to do it for my mom when we moved her to AL. Her house sat full of crap for months until I found the right person. They tagged and sold every single thing. Mom’s was a 3 day sale (lots of stuff). It was amazing what brought in $$ (old hats) and what didn’t (crystal).
So if the family already called dibs, just get it done. My Bro and I were a bit annoyed at the next generation who didn’t want a nice dining room table, for example when they were weeks from setting up their own apartment.
But after it was done, although we both have twinges of regret, it is more than balance by the relief that the burden of stuff is GONE. And I paid 30%, the only other option was the Assistance league who took 50%, but then you got to consider it a donation.</p>

<p>Scanner for the paper was the best thing we bought, DH scanned all Mom’s crap so I could go through it ON THE COMPUTER instead of having boxes and boxes. </p>

<p>Taking pictures, video of them talking about pieces and then having THAT instead of the thing is the best idea. It might take more time than you have, and be more burdensome/exhausting, but that is what you want to see and look at, not the STUFF, so if you can do a lot of that, I think it makes the letting go easier. </p>

<p>Glad your parents are not fighting you about it. My mom still doesn’t even know (yes, I told her but she forgets stuff she doesn’t want to think about, I am not going to remind her!!)</p>

14

<p>I’m not familiar with estate sales, because in my neck of the woods, we do auctions. When my parents moved, the most difficult part was going through each item and deciding whether it went with them to their new place, went to a family member, got trashed, or was put up for sale. It is physically exhausting.</p>

<p>From my experience, there is no good way to avoid the emotional upheaval this process causes. Be prepared for lots of bad days, and just know that everything will work out okay in the end.</p>

15

<p>If you need to give stuff away, the Vietnam Vets is an excellent organization that will come and pick things up and scores well in those “how much actually goes to charity” rankings. My mother has been divesting herself of stuff for the last few years by giving it to them.</p>

<p>BTW, I, too, think of an estate sale as being held after someone dies.</p>

16

<p>I think Estate Sales were originally after someone died. But now that “Estate Sale” companies exist, the term seems more general. </p>

<p>Whenever doing de-clutter sorts, I prioritize flat and light items. Hopefully that will mean fewer bulky, heavy items when we need to downsize. Taking photos is a great hint - my mom often does that before giving away a cherished item. </p>

17

<p>In our area, Estate Sales are held often for those that are downsizing; it is a big business! All the companies I contacted advertise on estatesales.net as well as send out emails to their entire mailing list as well as signage before and during the sale. These companies have thousands of people on their mailing list and have repeat customers attend their sales weekly. Some of the bigger companies were not even available for months, so we had to scratch those off our list.</p>

<p>Every Estate Sale company told us not to throw a single thing away. There are enough linens in my mother’s home to outfit an entire dorm; my old camp sheets and towel are still in the linen closet! I never knew someone needed as many place setting of dishes as my mother owns; I actually found and entire set of dishes in the basement still in the delivery boxes from the store, never opened. It seems my mother bought this for an event and never used or returned them some 30 years ago. </p>

<p>My children are now on my husband and I to declutter before we are too old as they don’t want to be involved in helping us figure out what to keep >:P </p>

18

<p>Snowball, you are so fortunate that your parents are behind this move. Most people are happy if they have grandchildren eager to inherit the large dining room set, etc.</p>

<p>It seems there is now an industry that helps people downsize. The go thru all the files and pull out important stuff (receipts for art work, for example). They have it down to a science. Once the person moves, a team in that city will come and help unpack. They even go shopping to help chose a small couch, kitchen table, etc.–things appropriate for the smaller space. </p>

<p>A client’s daughter arranged this for her mother. It will preserve the close bond.</p>

19

<p>snowball, you should check out some of the old china threads: there is no such thing as too much! :slight_smile: (What’s the pattern???)</p>

20

<p>Snowball, my mom had enough dishes and utensils to serve her whole building in one sitting. When she died, we had twelve sets of dishes, and an equal number of sets of eating utensils. We gave a LOT away. We also had tons of unopened linens that sadly didn’t fit the new and thicker mattresses. </p>

<p>You are very fortunate that your parents are willing to do this. So many are not.</p>