<p>As a feminist, I do find it morally reprehensible that anyone would choose to abort simply because the baby is a girl. This is just another form of men mistreating women since this usually only happens in cultures in which women are not valued at all and in which husbands force the wives into having an abortion under these situations. It harkens back to ancient times in which baby girls were left exposed on rocks to die simply for being girls. </p>
<p>If I were an OB and knew my patient wanted an ultrasound solely for this reason, I would tell them to get another doctor. I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with people like that. </p>
<p>I wish the laws use science to determine when abortion should be legal or not. It seems to me that if the lack of brain activity determines the definition of death, then the presence of brain activity should determine when life begins. It isn’t religious at all. It’s science.</p>
<p>Tatin, I agree it’s reprehensible- but who are we to say what a woman can and can’t do? If we’re going to say that you can’t abort a woman, because WE see women as equal and YOUR culture does not, then why can’t others make the argument that you can’t avoid a Down’s baby because WE see them as equal and YOU do not (or you don’t want to have a Down’s baby whereas we, the lawmakers, believe that you shouldn’t have that choice)? </p>
<p>IMO, fetuses should not be aborted based on sex. HOWEVER, I don’t believe that restricting it should be legal either because it’s too much of a slippery slope. You could too easily say that women are no longer allowed to find out the sex of the baby because it might make them abort. Or you could say that they need to justify an abortion (to make sure they’re not aborting based on sex) which is another very slippery slope.</p>
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<p>It’s not just science, it’s still interpretation. You would have to decide at what level the brain is actually functioning to “human” levels. What if the brain waves are active but the child is severely deformed? Do you still deny the woman the choice? It’s not that simple.</p>
<p>^ We already can. Just not that cheaply (yet…)</p>
<p>My boss wanted to keep having children until she had a boy. After 4 girls, she went through expensive IVF to make sure she had a boy. This technology isn’t all that new. </p>
<p>IMO, it’s just weird. I can’t imagine wanting to choose one or the other. But that’s just how I was raised and my culture.</p>
<p>Twenty years ago a friend of mine had a ultrasound and was told she was having a boy and she bought all my son’s baby clothes. Guess what? She had a girl. She kept the clothes anyway.</p>
<p>They thought I was a boy. Blue room, blue clothes, and a hockey puck in my crib. (shyanne, do you know my parents? jk)</p>
<p>My parents didn’t even have a name for me because they never imagined they’d get a girl. I was “Oscar” (what they called me in the womb) for a week until they settled on a name. </p>
<p>Maybe that’s why I’m such a tomboy.</p>
<p>FWIW- I don’t really want to know what I’m having. I want a surprise. Sex and gender doesn’t much matter to me. I think <em>most</em> Americans feel that way- that they don’t much care what their baby’s sex is. However, there are many exceptions (mostly from people who are first or second generation immigrants from highly patriarchal societies). I think as a whole though, the average family is going to be happy in the long run with either sex.</p>
<p>All laws rely on the cultural norms. We use the Western cultural norms of the United States. WE believe that girl babies are as valuable as boy babies. I do not think we need to sink to what we believe to be lower morality just because other cultures do based on their debasing of the value of women. I don’t think that just because other cultures do certain things that they should be okay in the United States. If that were the case, we’d allow the forced marriage of little girls to their rapists, we’d allow forced abortions, we would allow the stoning of gays and on and on.</p>
<p>TatinG: Would you be okay with a woman deciding she only wanted a boy if she wasn’t coerced into that decision? Is it only an abortion issue with you? What if she deliberately chooses to conceive a boy? Is that a problem?</p>
<p>Women who were being coerced into aborting a healthy girl would probably just lie, you’re right. The only way to stop this sort of thing is to change minds. </p>
<p>I personally would only have aborted if the fetus were found to have a birth defect that was incompatible with life. Anencephaly for example. Some women will abort if the baby has a cleft palate, something that can be fixed these days. I read a story once of a woman carrying triplets, three boys, she’d conceived by IVF. She decided she just couldn’t handle three, she’d be going to Costco for big quantities of diapers, so she aborted one. Things like that make my blood run cold. I had twins and I cherished them as soon as they were conceived. </p>
<p>When I was younger, and had no babies of my own, I was totally pro-choice. Then I saw the babies in the NICU and thought that the mother could have aborted these babies at just the size they were there, living, breathing, human beings. Babies the size of my own. It changed my thinking overnight.</p>
<p>Triplets are a really high risk pregnancy and in some cases doctors advise a reduction to improve chances of any of the babies surviving. There is a whole lot of debate about whether reduction actually improves survival odds for multiples, among moms of multiples, if not in the medical community. I haven’t had reason to look at any of that research in a long time.</p>
<p>So what if she were carrying eight? Could you support a reduction at that point?</p>
<p>What I really wondered, though, was what you thought of choosing to conceive one sex or another? Is there a moral problem?</p>
<p>edit: you have twins? Were you involved in a support group for mothers of multiples? If so, didn’t you know mothers of triplets who had very bad outcomes?</p>
<p>I think it comes down to whether or not you believe women to be generally reasonable. And I do. Far, far more reasonable than the avalanche of legislation aimed at restricting their choices.</p>
<p>My son is gay. It’s not too far fetched to think in the near future a woman could find that information out while she is pregnant. The thought of someone aborting a child like my son, simply because he is gay makes my blood run cold. But what is the alternative? Make laws forcing women to carry to term? That makes my blood run even colder.</p>
<p>Unless we want government deciding whether or not a reason is “good enough” for an abortion, we have to trust women. And, finding them to be generally reasonable, I do.</p>
<p>And either way- it’s not your choice to make. If a mother wants to reduce her triplets to twins because that’s all they can afford and it’s a safer alternative, it’s her choice. </p>
<p>And should the doctor not tell her that she’s carrying triplets because she might reduce it to two? If she can only afford two, who should pay for the third one that she never would have chosen to have in the first place? That child is going to cost a LOT of money over the years.</p>
<p>In some ways, I hope they never find that “gay” gene. What about a “bi” gene, like me? I just really really hope it’s never discovered if it exists.</p>
<p>I agree, TatinG, experience can be a very powerful teacher.</p>
<p>I wonder if some of these men so cavalierly making laws for women’s bodies, might also see things through different eyes if they suffered through some of the experiences of some of these single women? </p>
<p>None of us can experience everyone else’s life, and that’s precisely why it seems to me we ought to leave this type of decision to the person whose life it is.</p>
<p>And why we should equip those making the decisions with all possible information. Which is precisely why doctors should NOT be allowed to omit information to their patients.</p>
<p>ONLY if the woman CHOOSES to get an ultrasound. </p>
<p>You’re right, I misspoke. All the relevant information that she CHOOSES to have- not that is forced to have or that is omitted from her without her consent.</p>
<p>“all possible information” means - imho - educating women and allowing them to decide for themselves whether they want ultrasounds - whether or not they are considering abortion.</p>
<p>edit: yes, romani is right. it is a choice not to receive education. :)</p>
jk)</p>