<p>I am cutting it too close here (the deadline is 2/01) but I need direction because i am having trouble with the Eugene Lang short answer an essay questions.
They are pretty rough! And both lack solid conclusions…</p>
<p>ANY SUGGESTIONS? </p>
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<p>The city would be roots based, with focus on public services like effective transportation. Free access on bus and rail line is crucial in being environmentally conscious. The bus system would also be a rapid transit system. Without rapid transit people would not see the benefit of choosing to ride the bus instead of driving.</p>
<p>Public services would also include uncomplicated government interaction with the people. When there is unrestricted access with your local government unrest is unlikely because there is direct communication between civilians and the powers that be. </p>
<p>Studies show that the goal of color-blindness is a worthy aspiration but isnt a reality. It is important that there be education about race and ethnicity, when race is unaddressed stereotypes are formed. It is important to tackle race especially in young children who develop negative associations about race very early on. </p>
<p>Also in terms of education that public colleges and universities be completely free to attend, like public schools. It is very important that everyone have equal fiscal opportunity to higher education. Students who receive higher education often leave college with incredulous debt. I would initiate this through government education spending as the US government pays for public schools. </p>
<p>There also would be a plethora of libraries, so especially poorer citizens would have access to education. In many cities (like my own: Atlanta) there are endless examples of unfair disadvantages of the poor. Atlanta has a public library system that is virtually inaccessible for some students living in low-income areas.</p>
<p>It is possible to have a city like this. A great living example of a sustainable, green, and efficient city is Curitiba, Brazil.</p>
<p>essay #1…
remember: SHOW, not TELL.
I see a lot of generic statements and supposed “impressions” on you, but none of them seem to be substantial, or evidenced by an anecdote or a specific point. The words “peripheral” and “de facto” seem very forced.
Try to be much more specific (which i’m sure you can, because it’s a fine topic), and use your own voice instead of trying to be more sophisticated than you actually are.</p>
<h1>2</h1>
<p>I don’t know if this is a policy essay or just something to tell them more about yourself. if it’s the latter, the essay does very little to tell officers about who YOU ARE. If it’s the former, please check the feasibility of your suggestions. obviously most people would like to see the things you state to actually happen. Don’t only state the targets, but also offer insight on HOW they would be addressed.
In the end you mentioned an example of the “efficient” city. maybe you can tell us how Curitibia achieved this?
replace words like “unaddressed”.</p>
<p>Hi there! I’m working on my Eugene Lang supplement too. </p>
<p>Regarding your answer to #1… I think you should split that paragraph up into at least three paragraphs.</p>
<p>Some advice for #2… Hmm. Your last two sentences are out of place; there should me a conclusion there, not an opening for another topic altogether. If you want to list an example, that’s great, but I think you should go into more detail about HOW Curitiba is efficient and green, etc. Also, it definitely shouldn’t be your concluding statement.</p>
<p>Also… you should perhaps explain how these things in your city would be payed for (libraries, rapid-transit, etc.)? Would there be new taxes? Required to buy transit passes? Sounds like a nice place to live though!</p>
<p>Lets see… I recommend you get rid of the paragraph on race in #2. Since you used it as your topic in #1 you’ve already stated to them that it is an important issue to you. You should use that empty paragraph in #2 to emphasize another, different issue that also has significance to you.</p>