Everyone always copies off my homework! How do I say no?

Parent Cafe
1

For pretty much my entire life, I’ve been stepped on and bullied into doing work for other people. I never realized it until last week. I had an epiphany and realized that all my “friends” in class are actually really rude to me. They only use me for my homework.
Some of them are super lazy and I don’t want to be mean, but others are just plain dumb. This one girl copies off me EVERYDAY and she has a higher grade than me. She just doesn’t want to take the time to do the homework herself. She took my math study guide from my binder without asking and it basically passed around to like 20 people who all copied off the work that took me a few hours the night before. I’m so angry because after they copied off of my work, no one thanked me and they didn’t even bother to give it back to me so it got stepped on by a bunch of people. (I’m really OCD so dirty paper is a nightmare)
And in another class, people always ask me for help. It was flattering at first, however it gets really annoying when my teacher gives us 30 minutes for an essay and 6 people are begging me to read and fix their thesis sentences. And what bothers me even more is in science, when the teacher asks if anyone has any questions they couldn’t solve. My entire table remains silent. Then afterwards, they all ask me how to do the problems. It makes me so angry because they could easily go ask the teacher and I have other work to do, so helping them is my last priority.
This one boy doesn’t even attempt the problems and immediately asks me for help.
Last week, I let these girls copy off my homework and my teacher graded it and I got a few wrong. The girls were mad at me because I missed them even though they copied off my entire assignment. I’m so mad because I never realized my entire life that everyone has been stepping on me like a doormat.

This is unrelated to homework, but everyone treats me so badly. People end up eating like half my lunch, then refuse to give me a single potato chip from their bag. And so many people have never payed me back for all the money I’ve lent them.

I tried saying no to giving my homework a few days ago and everyone at my class table got really offended. They all asked me if I was on drugs or hit my head or something, because they expect me to just give them my work. What should I do? I want to “politely” tell my classmates to figure it out themselves or drown because I’m sick of being used.

Thanks for all answers

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First, if you have already said “no” … you can say it again. They may not like you … they may stop talking to you … but the craziness may stop.

I am actually really proud of you for saying “no”.

I think the key is to set boundaries and then stop thinking of normal requests as bullying. I would say copying homework is an absolute no, it is likely considered cheating by most of the teachers. Similarly, absolutely no helping others with in class essays.

If this is a life long pattern, it may help to seek some counseling, especially if this is causing you to be sad … or what seems more likely … unable to have good relationships with others.

You see … I don’t really believe EVERYONE is treating you like a doormat …

Another good solution is to look around your classes and find people that you would like to be friends with who seem to share your values and interests. Shy people are a good choice. Go up to them and initiate a conversation about almost anything. Since they are likely shy, they will like talking to you … It will be hard to bully you if you are in a group of friends, even if all of you aren’t the most popular talkative type people.

There is also the possible solution of talking to teachers. I am even thinking you could hand in your homework in the morning … and then honestly say, nope, handed it in already, sorry (white lie, I had a question so met with the teacher this morning and handed it in) …

If the work is easy for you … you could also ask for higher level work … and then no one could copy.

So … find friends (look for fellow shy people) … talk to teachers … etc.

What do your parents think about all this ? Unless they have some issues … they could be very valuable allies.