<p>Since our S has been off to college, we have been travelling more and invariably have conversations concerning our expectations vs reality. I would like to start a list of things that have by far exceeded my expectations - the real awe-inspirers.</p>
<p>The addition of a baby to the family.
The Grand Canyon.</p>
<p>What did it for you?</p>
<p>Breastfeeding.</p>
<p>You have to understand that I am an appalling klutz who has never been competent at any sport or physical activity, that I have had multiple medical problems, and that I’m not attractive. Breastfeeding was the one and only physical thing at which I have ever been successful. It was the only time in my life when my body actually cooperated and did what it was supposed to do. And on top of that, it was a nice experience.</p>
<p>Moving overseas for husband’s job. The education the kids got in international schools, and by living in different cultures, is amazing. </p>
<p>Actually, it was a great education for me, too.</p>
<p>I hope I don’t bring everyone down with this, but it’s my greatest “exceeding expectations” experience-
My dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer after a stroke that incapacitated him to a bedridden/diapered/“who are you” state. The docs said he could go “within the week” but a few months at the most. So after a week, they kicked him out of the hospital and he came home under hospice care. With just the meds that they give under hospice (palliative meds), he hung on; after a while he started regaining his consciousness and rallied to a sitting position, then able to use a chair, then walker, finally after 6 months the hospice nurse told us they had to refer him back for further medical diagnosis (since he wasn’t dead). Upon further tests, they found the tumors had shrunk up. This all happened over three years ago and he is still with us- the Everready Bunny. Miracles happen. The docs don’t understand it. It happens.</p>
<p>Doubleplay:
Wow! I love hearing about your experience. Hope your Dad is enjoying his ‘second’ life.</p>
<p>Actually, the same thing happened to my friend’s father last year- massive heart attack, doctors had no hope. But, he didn’t die, is doing okay, and just bought a new car.</p>
<p>Thanks Karen, and things are going great now.</p>
<p>Yikes, didn’t mean to bring everyone down! </p>
<p>Please, post on this thread! Anything that makes people think about good stuff is a good thing. Let’s hear some good stories…lift our spirits…</p>
<p>Parenthood. What a blast. My H and I were married for 15 years (!!!) before we finally got around to having kids (at 37 and 39). We got a chance to rediscover all the fun things of childhood. It really has exceeded all our expectations; can’t believe we almost waited too long.</p>
<p>Having adult children who are married. They are wonderful…enjoy being with us (Mom and Dad)and with each other (both siblings and their spouses). I thought I would never get over my babies growing up, but I love them as adults and now can’t wait for, well, you know!</p>
<p>The terrible twos. I loved them. :)</p>
<p>My wonderful children. I could never have imagined just how incredible they are, and I know you all feel the same.</p>
<p>Marian, I can totally understand your experience. Breast feeding was wonderful.</p>
<p>doubleplay: Hurrah!</p>
<p>mathmom: Too funny.</p>
<p>From the age of 18? Woo that is a LONG list…</p>
<p>mind expansion during college
college experience
architecture–study and profession
sex
romantic love
marriage
DH’s love
overseas travel
living in manhattan
family life with babies/children/teens
children’s love/my love for children
children’s primary school/primary school community
children’s compassion and accomplishments (far greater than mine at any given age)
new friendships/deep friendships
ambition
living overseas (twice)
owning a business
earning power
clients
the assistance of nannies
the craft and committment of construction workers of all sorts
luck and fortitude</p>
<p>and the most recent addition:</p>
<p>Empty Nest! Digging it to the max!</p>
<p>Things that totally exceeded my expectations:</p>
<p>Having kids. I had thought it would be hard, and maybe it is at times,
but mostly it’s interesting and warm and funny. What an adventure!
If I’d known I would have had twice as many, at least.</p>
<p>Fighting the school board/other community involvement. What a great
camaraderie builder! It’s fun to get together with other citizens to
keep the elected officials honest.</p>
<p>Just being a grown-up. Compared to my youth, I love my sense of
calm, confidence, competence, and even (maybe) emerging wisdom.
Not to mention financial stability.</p>
<p>Marriage…we were very young (almost 20 and just turned 23). Nobody expected us to make it.</p>
<p>the powerful love for your kids that overcomes everything (even the bad stuff)</p>
<p>Our sons …S1 academically, S2 athletically</p>
<p>Hiking…our newfound middle age pasttime that I was sure I would not like…the beauty of the bald we climbed on the App. Trail two weeks ago blew me. away.</p>
<p>The courage my Mom displayed down to the last minute of her life, a model for my life.</p>
<p>Buffalo.</p>
<p>We had to move here for H’s work, moving being an occupational hazard we put up with… </p>
<p>But instead: Nicest people I’ve ever met. Affordable housing. Beautiful Niagara Falls nearby. I even enjoy everybody’s passion for the Bills and Sabres, even though sports is a foreign language to me. Just fun and community-spirited people.</p>
<p>Doubleplay, thanks for posting your father’s experience. It helped me a great deal this morning…</p>
<p>Exceeding expectations - I have to say, hands down, raising my daughter. What an honor and a priviledge…</p>
<p>One more – on a topic that I don’t think anyone has touched on yet.</p>
<p>Getting to know my own sister – as adults.</p>
<p>We didn’t get along well as children. But as adults, we have developed a unique friendship. Unique because our lifestyles are very different, and I would be unlikely to even meet, let alone get to know, someone in her particular circumstances. Even more important, we have a shared history more extensive than what either of us shares with anyone else. There is literally no one else whom either of us has known all the way from early childhood through middle age.</p>
<p>We have both come to appreciate this, especially now that our parents are gone, and neither of us had anticipated it.</p>
<p>Good morning! I have one more too!</p>
<p>My resiliency and ability to handle crisis and difficult times far exceeded my expectatons. If I had had a crystal ball to see what I would have to go through I wouldn’t have thought I’d make it.</p>
<p>But I did!</p>
<p>Interpersonal and family relations, the complexity of life, and the stupidity of politicians and large organizations never fail to exceed my expectations.</p>
<p>The Grand Canyon was mentioned. When it comes to scenery, I found the GC to be less than I expected. On different trips, I saw it from both the south and north rims and was equally disappointed. Maybe my disappointment arose because I have seen Canyonlands from the Needles overlook.</p>
<p>Niagara Falls. I grew up 2 hours away, and went numerous times, and each time I’d forgotten how massive and amazing and awe (In a scary way) inspiring they are.</p>
<p>The depth of my husband’s love for me - seems there is no end to it (no matter how hard I seem to try, sometimes).</p>
<p>Marriage, raising kids, all those kinds of things, met my expectations. I just KNEW they would be fabulous, and they have been.</p>
<p>The teen years of my kids exceeded my expectations. I was prepared for rebellion that never came. </p>
<p>After growing up with a love-hate relationship with my own siblings, my kids’ affection for one-another and complete lack of rivalry, have exceeded my expectations greatly.</p>
<p>And, from the sublime to the ridiculous, babysitting my sister’s dog this past weekend was far more intensive than I expected, and not in a good way. If there were any doubt before, now I know I am not a dog person. I like them just fine, but cannot stand the constant whining and “puppy dog eyes” every time I wish to do something ALONE.</p>
<p>binx: Too funny!</p>
<p>Ah, from sublime to mundane too, the ease of gaining weight after forty!</p>