<p>Hello everyone,</p>
<p>So I know alcohol is not necessary at all to have a social life at college. <em>sigh of relief</em> But now I have a question.</p>
<p>In case “sorry, I don’t drink” doesn’t work, what are some effective/witty/practical excuses that can make anyone say “oh, never mind then.” without any repercussions or awkwardness? Quite frankly, I don’t want to explain my health conditions every time someone offers me a drink.</p>
<p>‘history of alcoholism in the family, i’d rather not risk it’</p>
<p>You shouldn’t have to provide a reason for why you don’t drink. If you don’t want to or can’t, just tell them that – you don’t drink. Why should the other person go any further than that? It’s none of their business.</p>
<p>Phew, I need to calm down a bit.</p>
<p>(I’m expecting a debate about drinking to ensue soon.)</p>
<p>I’m in ROTC so I just use that.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Health condition? I know a girl with celiac’s, and that obviously hampers nearly all alcohol. Also, I know two people on INH, which means no alcohol for at least 9 months.</p>
<p>Also, lots of athletes have “dry seasons,” where they’re not supposed to have any alcohol anyway.</p>
<p>If it’s for moral reasons or health reasons, I highly doubt anyone will care. So long as you aren’t judgmental (I know someone who believes prohibition should return… and looks down on anyone who even just likes a beer once a week), it’s not a big deal.</p>
<p>The question doesn’t come up nearly as often as you think it will. Once your group of friends knows that you can’t/don’t drink, it’s not like they’ll keep asking you about it over and over again. At a bigger party, you can avoid questions altogether by pouring yourself a cup of juice/soda/whatever–there will likely be something like that around in order to make mixed drinks. Water will work too. It’s not a big deal.</p>
<p>I’m the designated driver.</p>
<p>I’ve got to make sure my friend gets home okay, and he’s/she’s already had 9 beers.</p>
<p>I’ve got to work on a paper later.</p>
<p>I’ve got to get up early tomorrow.</p>
<p>Thanks, I’ve already had enough.</p>
<p>Yeah, I’m going to go get another one in a minute.</p>
<p>My little sister/brother is sleeping over tonight and she/he thinks I’m at the library.</p>
<p>The last time I got really drunk I did a strip-tease in a flowerbed/threw up on a dean’s Prius/plagiarized a Wikipedia article on Hitler for my physics homework/prank-called the White House and had a cop at my door 3 hours later/held the library door open for my English professor – who had given me an extension on my essay because I said a heart had just become available for me/went into the wrong room and fell asleep in someone else’s bed/peed on the RA’s fancy bulletin board/… (The more plausible the story, the more some people will try to get you drunk just to see what you’ll do next. And the more drunk those people are, the more plausible all your stories will seem.)</p>
<p>And you can always carry something around that looks like alcohol. Ginger ale passes pretty well for beer. Water can pass for vodka or anything clear. The ingredients for a mixed drink other than alcohol will often look like the mixed drink itself. Most people who have themselves been drinking will not pick up on the fact that your drink doesn’t smell like alcohol. Or you can just pick up an actual drink, spill a little bit out of it, and carry that around all night.</p>
<p>“When I drink I turn into the Hulk.”</p>
<p>"I’m already drunk.</p>
<p>You’re kinda hot."</p>
<p>^ works best if same sex.</p>
<p>No one is going to care much less ask why you don’t drink in the real world.</p>
<p>
ah, you too?
A simple no thanks will do the trick.</p>
<p>I don’t drink and have been to plenty of parties. No one really cares if you don’t. Your friends (and even other people) won’t press on it once you say no thanks.</p>
<p>“i got muddbutt”, that should work.</p>
<p>You do not need to lie or come up with some elaborate excuse… I do not drink even though I go to parties every now and then.</p>
<p>whoever says you dont need excuses, man you havent had this problem. i dont drink and im in a frat so i get asked why a lot. “I just dont” gets annoying and redundant to both parties so:
I don’t get drunk
It tastes gross
I’ll do a shot with you later!(lies)
I’ll do a juice shot with you
I’m walking people home
Hey look over there! Is He/She drunk?!
No, Let’s go dance</p>
<p>“I don’t drink” has never been less than sufficient for me. I have chosen not to drink for a variety of different reasons at different points in life. There was a point where I was very sickly and didn’t want to tax my system, I could have said I had a health issue that makes drinking not such a good idea if I’d wanted to. There are eighty bazillion different kinds of medications that are not supposed to be mixed with alcohol, for example an ADHD med I was taking at some point, I could have just said I couldn’t mix it with my medications. “Not tonight, I’m not feeling so hot” would probably also work. I am actually allergic to beer and wine and anything fruit flavored, and with my allergies it’s unsafe to drink from any kind of a communal source (which you should NEVER be doing anyway), so “I can’t, I’m allergic” has also worked. But honestly, “I don’t drink” has always gotten people off my back more quickly. Don’t say it apologetically, but confidently. Most people will not try to convince you otherwise as long as you do that.</p>
<p>Honestly, if you don’t want to drink, the kind of crowd that won’t accept, “I don’t drink” is probably not for you. Good luck with that.</p>
<p>Most people really don’t care if you drink or not.</p>
<p>No one will ever question “I’m driving”</p>
<p>
I think that is the most absurd reason. There is no proven genetic link to alcoholism… Hereditary =/= genetic. I actually judge people who use this excuse over anyone who simply says they don’t like it.</p>