<p>I’m currently reading a great book that covers a lot of the issues discussed here:
“They’re YOUR Parents Too!” by Francine Russo. It outlines many of the issues we all face as families dealing with our parents’ decline and death. One of the topics is executors, and how to keep peace in families.</p>
<p>Sounds like a “must read,” kjofkw. :)</p>
<p>Interesting thread. We’ve procrastinated many years changing our will from another state. And it turns out that with our state laws, things are pretty simple whether we keep it or update it. The hitch has been deciding executor. My mom is named now. She is fantastic at paperwork, but at age 80 she’d prefer not to have responsibility many more years. The kids are 19 and 22… and they get along great. I worry though if they are co-executors, maybe someday it will cause stress/grief. Just rambling here… but it has been on my mind.</p>
<p>colorado_mom, I don’t believe there’s any requirement that the executor must be a family member. I think you can specify in the will that a neutral, professional third party be hired to attend to business. I can see that this would save a lot of grief in many cases. (Attorneys, please correct me if I’m wrong)</p>
<p>I guess all of these situations are different because every family has its own peculiarities, but my suggestion, like some others above, is for the OP to talk to the siblings and see what they think before declining the fee. My sister and I were supposed to be co-executors of my dad’s estate, but because I wasn’t available to sign papers, she ended up being the only executor, and she has done almost all the work. She still thinks we should split the fee–I think she should be compensated for the time she’s spent (and expenses for sure). I feel confident we’ll be able to agree on a division, since she wants to give me half! If the OP’s siblings see this the way I do, they’ll feel like they’re taking advantage if the OP doesn’t take some fee (although perhaps not as much as the lawyer will take).</p>
<p>This is a great topic to discuss here. I have never been an executor, and apparently, a lot of you have been. Can you enlight me about the duties on Executors, and what would be the difference if a lawyer is involved vs you work alone? Let me guess:</p>
<p>The duries of Executor(assuming there is a will):
- Valuation of the liquid assets of the estate. ie. Cash Accounts, Stocks, Bonds, Funds, commodities and 401K/IRA/SEP.
- Valuation of the realties, include repair estimates, proposal from the Realtors if it is for sale.
- Valuation of the Personal Properties, including jewelery, gold, silver, collectiables and any thing else that is illiquid or difficult to value
- Collect all documents. Wills, Deed, Trusts, loans, leases, POA etc,
- Collect Bank Vault Keys and notify Bank as such.
- File court documents.
- Notify Social Securtiy and any other governement agencies.
- Locate all insurance papers, especially life insurance docs and notify as appropriate.</p>
<p>Anything you can add? From the above, the only thing that I will need a lawyer is the #6 Court Documents, Is that cost a lot of money?</p>
<p>artlover - I tried to get together a list of Executor duties before my Mom died. Ha! Fool’s errand. Sure, you’ll need to close bank accounts within a reasonable period (“reasonable” being a flexible concept that can be problematic). But what do you do about those pesky automatic withdrawals from the deceased’s checking account? And how do you know you’ve located all the bonds? If there’s real estate in more than one state, how will you go about locating a lawyer in the distant state(s)? </p>
<p>Here are the first five things I did as Executor of my Mom’s Estate:
(1) Select a Funeral home.<br>
(2) Notify relatives
(3) Request a copy of the Will from my Mom’s lawyer
(4) Make funeral arrangements
(5) Secure the house.</p>
<p>None of these is on your list. But that’s OK, because I think the two most important things you can do are: (a) Find out what the elder’s wishes are … before they pass of course; and (b) encourage him/her to put together a comprehensive list of assets and a location of documents. Good luck with that … many elders are reluctant to discuss those issues.</p>
<p>You can be the executor and do most of the work, but I still strongly suggest you engage an attorney for legal advice. I was the sole executor, but I had no idea how to get a federal tax ID, or even that I needed one. My mother’s will was drawn in another state from where she lived and passed away, and it was not compliant with our state’s laws. I wouldn’t have known that without an attorney’s guidance on what was wrong and what we needed to do to correct the situation. I was definitely the administrator and did most of the work, but it was a perfect case of not knowing what I didn’t know. The attorney fee was minimal, but his services were important.</p>
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<p>And go through all their personal belongings carefully. My mother wasn’t even close to wealthy, but we found a stock certificate shoved between the pages of an old book!</p>
<p>My MIL’s estate attorney recommended that my wife (her mother’s executor) get The Executor’s Guide: Settling a Loved One’s Estate or Trust by Nolo Press. She found it a good resource. Note that in some states the executor is called “personal representative.”</p>
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This reminds me of the best tip I can give anybody who is expecting to be an executor in the future: if your relative has stock certificates in a safe deposit box (or in an old book), plead with them to place them in an account with a brokerage firm before they die.</p>
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<p>If the estate is straightforward, with a single heir, you definitely don’t need a lawyer for that. In the probate office we used, the staff will actually sit down with you and help you fill out the papers if you need assistance. All of the forms you need will be available online or at the probate office. In CT, there is AMPLE online information and assistance, including a detailed “users guide” which I printed out.</p>
<p>When dealing with my father’s affairs, we fell afoul of a hidden trap: CT law enables an estate with a value of under $40K–which is quite possible even if there are significant assets, since only things owned in the deceased’s name alone count–to bypass opening a full estate and engaging in the full procedure. This means that an executor is not formally declared. We discovered that an out of state bank would NOT honor this law, and would NOT release day of death valuation on accounts in his name only, nor would they even inform my mother of their existence! That was a royal pain. There is also nothing a lawyer could have done about it.</p>
<p>If I am the executor of my mother’s estate, I think I would be most likely to consult an attorney as needed on an hourly basis. That would probably be infinitely cheaper than allowing one to act as the executor. We are talking an estate that will probably consist of two pieces of real estate, household goods, and investments. If the estate included a business or something more complicated, that could be more difficult. In some cases, an executor might want to use the services of an accountant, too.</p>
<p>Some states allow specific percentages, normally between 2% and 4% of the estate according to what I’ve read. California has a sliding fee scale. CT just says that the fees must be “reasonable.”</p>
<p>One thing one definitely needs is a number of copies of the notarized death certificate. They will be required to stop automatic debits, close accounts of all kinds, and so forth. A review of the transaction history of credit cards and bank accounts, going back at least six months, but preferably a year, should reveal all of the automatic debits.</p>
<p>As one might expect, the more straightforward and organized the records, the easier it all is.</p>
<p>By all means buy the book. But keep in mind that settling an Estate is a lot like a journey … there will be surprises along the way that you’ll have to deal with. My Mom based her Will on guidance from the Probate Court Judge in town. A different Judge was in place when she died, one who had wildly different views. I probably devoted a thousand extra hours just because of the Judge. My Mom had several hundred $25 Series E Bonds purchased by my Dad (in both their names). The bank couldn’t refuse to cash them … but they did institute a policy of “No more than eight bonds a day.” My Mom held a stock certificate that was mis-registered. It took ten months to address that problem. These sorts of things occur when you’re trying to settle another person’s affairs, so it’s helpful to go into the process with a flexible approach.</p>
<p>I’d wait to make a decision on the executor’s fee until everything is resolved. More time may be involved in selling assets and other issues than you know now. </p>
<p>Also I have heard that the executor can be liable if any of the heirs or claimants to the estate think that something has been mishandled. </p>
<p>If your siblings have no problem with the fee, take it. I note that your husband wants you to take the fee. It might be worth it to take it so that if money is ever an issue with you and your husband, the fact that you turned down $20,000 won’t be thrown back at you. </p>
<p>My husband was executor for his brother’s estate. He had to sell property in another state. Deal with endless daily telephone discussions with his niece and nephew. He turned down the fee and turned down other money his brother left him, thinking the brother must have made a mistake. He did this because he wanted to maintain family unity. Of course, he almost never hears from the niece or nephew today, some years later. Meanwhile, we could have used that money for college.</p>
<p><a href=“1”>quote</a> Select a Funeral home.
(2) Notify relatives
(4) Make funeral arrangements
(5) Secure the house.</p>
<p>
[/quote]
^^ I thought these are matter of fact that is the least a child can do to their passed beloved parents, I would not consider it is an executor’s “job” if the deceased were my parents and if I were to charge money for those “service” as an executor, I should be lynched. OTOH, I can see to an outside excutor, it would be a real job.</p>
<p>^ALP - No one’s telling you to charge for whatever services you provide. What I was trying to address was the somewhat amorphous nature of “the job.” Are you legally required to secure the house before the Court officially names you the Executor? No, of course not. Will you still be required to account for Grandpa’s missing Rolex? Yes. Is this fair? Of course not. Welcome to the world of the Executor.</p>
<p>BTW, there was a compelling reason why actions (1) through (5) were addressed in that exact order.</p>
<p>A reminder for those who make final arrangements, call ahead on pricing, before the death if you can or at least before you go in to take care of details. My Dad’s phone quote was 1/3 of the walk in price!</p>
<p>Ok, NewHope, I’ll bite…why was securing the house last if one should be concerned about those relatives? I do know a friend who was his Uncle’s executor. Family members essentially looted the home before he could secure it :eek:</p>
<p>^^ And this story is going around at my parents’ assisted living: A niece claimed to be so devastated by her aunt’s death she couldn’t even go to the funeral, but offered to house-sit while everyone was gone to the service. When the family returned, the niece was gone, along with most of the valuables.</p>
<p>But that does bring up another point. According to my neighbor, there is a class of crooks who watches the death notices, and strikes when presumably the entire family is gone to the funeral, so arranging for a trusted friend to house-sit seems like a good idea. Or another way to avoid becoming a target is to publish the death notice the day after the funeral.</p>
<p>^^ someone - Mom was rehabbing a hip when she died, so lots of people had keys to the house. It took a day and a half to get a locksmith there. Rural area. A few valuables were absent when we inventoried the house, jewelry and silver coins mostly. But it wasn’t clear when the items went missing. Definitely an “inside job” though.</p>