<p>Ok. I know there was another thread that talked a bit about someone’s son not attending class. And a discussion followed as to what is reasonable to expect. I just had a phone conversation with my DS. At his school all finals are take home. The last day of classes was Friday. The first final is due next Wednesday but can be turned in early. I asked him if he was studying for finals. He said “study? no. I’m just going to take them” Now at his school take home means you get a final with instructions as to how long you have for the test and whether its open book, or if you can use your notes or even if you can use a calculator. If it was open book, unlimited time, ok, I can see not studying(maybe). But, if no books or notes are allowed, doesn’t one need to study? I just sent him an email and told him I can understand that he doesn’t need to study for his math class which is a repeat of things he did in high school. But chemistry? physics? I understand classes are pass/fail the first term. But doesn’t one need to study in order to pass a class? Am I clueless or is he going to be in for a big surprise? And I just need to let go and he’ll get the grades he does. (EEK!) thanks for listening to me vent.</p>
<p>It depends on the kid. I never really needed to “study” in classes where I had kept up with the reading and attended class; I’ve got a really good memory and if I understand something, I don’t need to go over it repeatedly. So for most classes in college and law school, I just needed to briefly go over my class notes - and I was pretty much a minimalist as far as taking notes, simply writing down main ideas or high points. </p>
<p>The only exception was in courses where I had some difficulty in actually understanding the concepts taught, such as organic chemistry. Then I needed help to master the concepts – if I got that help early in the semester, I wouldn’t need to revisit later on – I would only need to study for the exam if I was still struggling to understand concepts.</p>
<p>Part of my personal style was to take a break right before an exam. So when I took the biggest exam of my life – my state bar exam – I had taken a review course and studied for about 4-6 weeks, but about 2 or 3 days before the exam I put away all the books and stopped studying, and instead relaxed and went to a classical music concert. Even with that review course – which needed to cover 3 years of material – I was regularly cutting class to attend music performances instead, and only focused on the areas that were weak for me after the initial pre-test. </p>
<p>At least for me, sleep is more important than review of already familiar material. </p>
<p>I think a significant amount of “studying” you see among college students are those who are trying to catch up with reading that they didn’t do earlier. They aren’t reviewing material; they are trying to learn it for the first time in the hours leading up to the exam. I remember kids in college jazzed out on caffeine and speed, pulling all nighters right before exams, complaining about the hundreds of pages they still had to read. </p>
<p>So… my advice is not to worry until you see your son’s grades – and even then, if the grades are satisfactory to him and meet the minimum requirements of his college – back off and let him be the one who decides how well he wants to do. The best way for a kid to learn that he needs to study more is to see a C when he expected an A. The kid who succombs to parental pressure to study more and gets a B may not make the same connection - he may instead rationalize that all the studying did no good because he still couldn’t get better than a B, or even think that the studying hurt him (“I would have gotten an A if I wasn’t so exhausted.”)</p>
<p>I personally would prepare for a take home final like that (timed, etc.) by going through my notes, reviewing major topics, and getting organized. If all his classes this term are pass/fail, he will probably pass all of his classes. He would have a pretty good idea whether failing was a possibility for him, and if he thought that he might be failing he would likely talk to you, study, go to office hours or review sessions, etc. Once grades switch to A/B/C/D/F he may find that he needs to work harder if he doesn’t want to get the C that one of his Ps may translate to. </p>
<p>Don’t worry, though. I’m sure he’ll pull through this round of finals fine and will adjust his study techniques in the future if he has to.</p>
<p>As others have said, it depends.</p>
<p>More importanty, it’s his life now. Time for parents to back off, as all you will do is create tension for yourself and drive a wedge in your relationship with your son. </p>
<p>Maybe he kept up all through the term, the best way to prepare. </p>
<p>Maybe he’s slacked off and will do poorly. Then he may learn a lesson?</p>
<p>Maybe he understands that take home finals are their own learning experience. FWIW, I spent more time on take home finals than I did for a similar course studying and taking the finals in class.</p>
<p>Only he knows!</p>
<p>Thank you everyone. I do keep telling myself he knows what he needs to do. And hopefully he really has kept up this term. And if he needs to study and doesn’t, he will learn a lesson. I guess its just really hard for me to sit back and watch. I wish there was another way of easing into this for moms (I hope he’ll grade me on pass/fail as mom this term). Its so hard not heard much about how he’s doing in his classes…he keeps saying “average”. Its also interesting to me that all this semester he’s been very laid back. I know that everything is pass/fail the first two terms to make it a little easier for freshmen adjusting to college life and college expectations, but it feels so easy for him, I just worry if when suddenly grades are handed out if he’ll not have the study habits he needs. But again, its probably time for me just to back off and let it go.</p>
<p>My son seems to see life as though he was looking through an empty paper towel roll. Classes, ec’s and where he is going to eat next are in his line of vision. That’s it. He is happy and has good friends who often look out for him. This was a great way to go through high school as it sheltered him from all the drama going on around him. With him at home I could steer him in the right direction of the bigger picture. Well, he’s not home anymore and needs to do this on his own.</p>
<p>My expectations are for him to begin to get a wider view of what is going on around him. I still don’t know how to help him learn to do this. So…I badger him. Yup…till I’m blue in the face. Luckily he is easy going and just laughs at me and humors me. I would have killed me by now. I just don’t want him losing out on opportunities because he is unaware of them or how to position himself to be competitive for these things. So I talk to him about research and internships and try to get across that he needs to look into these things depending on his goals. I’d hate to see him two years from now suddenly realizing he should have done these things and wishing he had known. So I badger. I don’t think I have created the monster …I just think this is his personality. </p>
<p>So my expectations of him: expand his field of vision and to keep humoring and loving his mom.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s fair for a professor to give an unsupervised take-home test and expect it to be closed-note, closed-book, or timed. Most of the class won’t follow those instructions regardless, and it ends up being unfair to those students who do. That’s just been my experience; maybe it’s different at schools with strict honor codes and the like, but I’d hope professors wouldn’t be naive enough to assign a take home final and make it exactly like an in-class final.</p>
<p>sax,
thanks so much. I think my son is much like yours. What’s right in front of him is what he sees. I like the idea of having the expectation that he begin to get a wider view of whats going on around him - it feels like a better focus for me than worrying about finals. I’m with you, I don’t want to see him miss out on opportunities, including the opportunity to learn the material in depth. Parenting a college freshman is much harder than I’d imagined it would be - I am hoping he will let me be graded on pass/fail as a mom too for the first few terms of college - this is all new territory for me too!</p>
<p>eireann,
his school has a very strict honor code. midterms are take home too, with instruction for how long, what materials one could use, etc. its really quite amazing. My understanding is that all classes give midterms & finals that way at his school. It was one of the many things that appealed to my son - an honor code and I understand while there are a few violations of the honor code, there aren’t many. The honor code is actually very simple: no one shall take unfair advantage of any member of the community. During orientation time was spent making sure all the freshmen & transfer students understood how far the honor code reaches - into every aspect of student life. Every one at his school takes it quite seriously. I understand if you run out of time, you just draw a line across the paper to indicate where your time ran out. You’re free to finish the exam and the professors will know where your time ran out & also look at the rest of the work (I don’t know how they grade work after the time limit).</p>
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<p>Could he be “pulling your chain?” My MIL, a very loving mom, can be a little on the helpful side (haha) when it comes to giving advice and worrying too. My husband and his brother think it’s funny to be a little outragious in their responses to her concerns when they think she’s crossed the line. Sometimes she catches on, and sometimes she doesn’t.</p>
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<p>I wish. He emailed me this morning(2:50 a.m.) and explained that he’d learned enough doing the problem sets/homework that he doesn’t need to study. I also checked in privately with a senior at his school who posts on CC regularly and he said with my son’s background (some college courses as a high school student) he may very well not need to study for finals. I’m still surprised. I also wonder if his college experience is very different from mine(many years ago). Until this came up, I’d forgotten that at the Parents’ Weekend his physics professor said that what he teaches is not what is on the homework or tests. That was not my college experience and I really didn’t understand. But maybe what I’m starting to figure out is that what is taught in class is the concepts. The tests are problems that one must solve rather than just spitting back information. And maybe thats why my son doesn’t need to study? We shall see when grades come out. (of course that does bring up another question - how are grades handled at colleges these days. Are they just posted on line? Or do grade reports come in the mail to the college address or to the home address? I’m assuming parents don’t get copied in on grades?</p>
<p>The issue is not whether he knows what he needs to for a single test. The issue is whether or not he is developing sufficiently methodical study patterns to continue to do well in the long run. When things are going well is a great time to develop these skills-- rather than waiting until one is in too deep and then trying to scramble to get up to speed.</p>
<p>I expected my children to study in their freshman year, as they had developed excellent study habits in HS. I also expected that their first semester grades would not be reflective of how they would do ultimately.</p>
<p>Grades - at son’s school they are posted online under the student account. Nothing gets sent home. I think they are like that at most schools.</p>
<p>My son is considering that school your son is attending. If my son does his homework he doesn’t study at all for science or math exams even now. I’m sure he can pass everything. He may choose to study a bit once he’s actually taking courses for grades. I had pass/fail for all my courses in grad school (architecture) - I have to say I would have studied much harder if I’d had grades - instead we put all our time into the thing that would count in the long run our studio projects.</p>
<p>I have to say that honor code really appeals to me too.</p>
<p>I didn’t get my daughters grades ( & neither did she unless she made an appt with her advisior to see them)
If your child wants you to see their grades, they will have to sign a release and you will probably have to request them
I don’t think I saw them until she graduated & then a GPA wasn’t attached, just that she had passed the requirements for graduation, including passing her classes and submitting an approved thesis</p>
<p>My kids both signed off on grade reports for parents. We see mid-term as well as end of semester grades. They are sent by mail.</p>
<p>Oh my gosh, I SO do not want to know if my son is studying or not – it’s totally his problem! </p>
<p>And I’m so relieved to be done with that responsibility…</p>
<p>My school gives grades to students and whoever’s paying the bill, I believe.</p>
<p>since college students are adults & since information about adults needs to have a release then unless you signed something allowing your parents to view your grades ( or any personal information) then it isn’t automatically released</p>
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<p>I don’t even get a mid-semester grade, so I certainly glad my parents don’t. With all the semester long projects we have it would be pretty meaningless anyway.</p>
<p>At any rate, I tell my parents what my grades are. No big deal.</p>