I agree, but public schools are required by law to accept children who are of a certain age. Plus, public schools do not screen applicants as do private & parochial schools.
As described in my earlier post, my D had an early entrance into K as she missed the cut off by five weeks. This was to a public school. She went through a lot of testing to be considered, as well as had to be observed in the classroom of older kids. We were told she had to be deemed not simply “ready for K,” but above the level of those who were old enough to enter K. She was accepted.
My son is a late August birthday and the cut off in our State is 8/31. His preschool teacher suggested we hold him back. We didn’t - I had never heard of such a thing (I don’t think they do that in England) and school here already starts later than it does there. I did end up regretting it. So many boys are held back that he ended up being much younger than most. And he did struggle - he probably would have anyway as he has ADD and dysgraphia, but that extra year might have helped. He really was not ready.
Life is not a race…
I had a late September birthday and started Kindergarten at 5 (nobody was “redshirted” back then); I also skipped 2nd grade. I graduated HS at 16 and started college that fall. In many ways, I grew up way too fast (perhaps in part because I grew up in NYC, perhaps in part because I felt like I needed to).
My daughter was a late summer birthday. She was academically – but not socially – ready for K at 5. We struggled with the decision but ultimately put her in a Junior Kindergarten class rather than starting her in Kindergarten at age 5. (Athletics was never part of the equation; the choice was made entirely based on social and educational criteria.)
At the end of the day, I think we made the right choice (or at least we don’t have reason to believe that we didn’t).
They say that people rarely regret giving their kids “the gift of time” but that the opposite is often true.
Each child has to be looked at individually. So they have the social skills and academic skills needed for K? If they have been in a preschool, they are usually better prepared socially and have some basic school skills like following simple directions. Way back when I started school we had split years. I started K at the end of Jan or beginning of Feb. at age 4. The requirement then was that you had to be or turn 5 by March 31. I don’t know when the start date was or what the cut offs were for those that started in Sept. I didn’t realize until that it wasn’t normal to have summer break in between 1A and 1B until I was older. When I was in 3A the district decided to do away with the split system and just push us ahead. So that fall instead of 3B I started 5th grade. So a group of us ended up being over a year younger then most of our classmates. It never bothered me and I had the maturity to handle it.
My son has a summer birthday. While boys in general run about 6 months behind girls (it evens out about age 9), I started him when he was 5 and he did just fine.
We didn’t advance D18 into K. She was born a month early and that date was around a month later than the cutoff, so it would have required special treatment. Frankly, I think we were still a bit traumatized by the disastrous pregnancy at the time even though D18 was doing great. Our pediatrician said that it would be better to hold back before school than have to repeat a grade later if we made the wrong decision, so we did. It was the right decision back then … but, knowing what we know now, D18 would have been fine either way.
We gave both of our kids the gift of time. The pediatrician and preschool director said we’d never regret it and we never have. Both were born in November, 2 years and 5 days apart. Both were precocious in their own ways but both thrived in the settings they were in. Academically, the preschool director and pediatrician agreed S could have been the brightest kid in kindergarten at age 3 but giving both our kids the gift of time was truly the right thing for them and us.
We did seek and carefully consider the opinions of the preschool director, teachers and pediatrician in making choices that worked for our kids and family.
These days, kids have so much pressure and so many expectations thrust in them. When they are older, they can make better choices. Our kids are now 28 and 30 and are grateful for the gift of time.
My son has a July birthday and I held him back. It had nothing to do with sports. In my opinion he was ready cognitively,but socially he was immature.
He was immature through much of high school, then excelled in college. At the time, I agonized over my decision, but it was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Your child is not yet age 2. You have roughly 3 years before you even have to start thinking about this. If you put her in a preschool or daycare setting at age 3 or 4 you will have plenty of opportunity to observe how she stands in relation to her peers.
Really: this is a decision that doesn’t need to be made now–and when it is made there are all sorts of other factors to consider.
But if it really is important to you now, and if you are in an area with a good Montessori school you might consider that alternative. Traditional Montessori takes kids from about age 3, and puts them in mixed age groups which overlap somewhat – so that is one way to completely avoid the age/grade dilemma. My son started Montessori at age 2.5 … so it may actually be something you could look into next year.
MyDD21 has a summer birthday - she made the cutoff by about a week but the kindergarten screening people suggested putting her in kindergarten readiness (basically an extra year of preschool).
It was the best decision for her at the time. She was the kid who wouldn’t say a word at school until spoken to. She is still on the quiet side in social situations, but that extra year was helpful to her back then.
Now, however, that age difference is showing up in high school. She is a freshman who is learning to drive. Somewhere in 8th grade the difference in maturity between her and her classmates showed up, and if anything it has increased. Academically, many things come easier to her than her classmates. She’s no genius, but she just has the brain development to handle things better and quicker.
It is a double-edged sword, and in our case the differences really showed up around 7th-8th grade. I would do it again based on her circumstances, but it has been interesting to see that the real difference has shown up now.
@HImom I’m interested in this statement “Our kids are now 28 and 30 and are grateful for the gift of time.” Why are they grateful now?
By the time I got to that age I was focused on moving further ahead in my career, buying a house, getting married, starting to think about having kids. All that was made easier by finishing college earlier and therefore having worked longer and earned more money, which traced back to starting school earlier/skipping grades. And for my parents, I was out of the house sooner and therefore cost them less to bring up.
So spending an extra year in pre-kindergarten potentially has a long term cost for both you and your kids, which I don’t think many people consider. The same could certainly be said about graduating college in 3 years rather than 4 (in both cases for those kids/students who are capable of thriving in an accelerated setting).
I think it definitely depends on the child. My S was a June baby and many of my friends asked if I was going to hold him back, especially because he was a boy. S was very verbal and I did not see any reason to hold him. I figured that if K did not go well, he could always repeat it (and no one would ever ask about it on his college app!) K went fine and he is heading to college next Fall. It is funny that a lot of his current friends are on the older side for his grade. They were all driving sophomore year and S could not get his license until Junior year.
His best friend, born in July, waited a year. For each of them it was the right decision. His friend was on the small side and very nervous about school - another year to mature worked wonders.
Funny how things have changed, when my H went to school, the cutoff was December 31!
I would say to trust your gut. If your D seems ready academically and physically, then I would send her on time.
I am a NYC parent and educator. Students can start kindergarten at NYC public schools as long as they are turn 5 by December 31 this year. I can talk to my small sample in my immediate family; me, 2 brothers and 2 sisters were all born between July and the end of the year (younger sister December 15), where we all thrived in school. My D was born in July and I have a niece who was born on December 31and both thrived in school. Both went to pre-school at 3. My d went to school where there was multi age grouping and they kept the same teacher for two years k/1, 2/3 and 4/5. So one year they were the younger kids in the class, the next year they were the older kids in the class.
In the NYC public school system we have Prek for all where children can attend all day prek at 4 years old. This year the city is starting 3k for all where 3 year olds can attend preschool in september.
So many parents do it now that I think I would even if my child were ready, just to even things out socially. We now have middle school students with learners permits driving to school. My daughter was born 1 month after the cutoff date, so in theory should be among the oldest in the class, but she is in the middle, as more than half the class was held. I don’t think it is a good trend;I certainly see the downsides as some of the seniors are 19 or even 20 years old, but it is common to hold now.
Someone will always be the oldest/youngest. The biggest predicator of kindergarten success (I worked as a teacher’s aide for many many years) tends to be social readiness, not physical or academic issues, for most schools.
OP mentioned everyone else is doing it. Stop that nonsense right now. In any school system, there is pressure to question our parenting 24/7. Decide what you think is right for your family, your kid, and then step back from the noise. Sure, people will have useful insight. But don’t let other people get you second guessing. Stick to that, and learn to do it now.
My second child turned 5 right after school started and the school offered to let him start early (our schools allow parents to decided if their child’s bday is within a two week window either way). He was plenty able and pretty shy. But we didn’t see any good reason to rush him, I was already at home, and he could go to a morning preK twice a week to learn some coping with people skills. So he stayed, and was always the oldest in his class. Didn’t make a difference. It was a delightful year for the two of us (his sibling was already in school)
I had 2 summer girls. One was super social and talkative-- totally ready for school at 5. The other, quiet and shy-- she thanks me still for holding her back! Both are very bright. The main factor (like with college) was fit. Are they ready to ‘fit’ the kindergarten mold or do they ‘fit’ the preschool mold. Go with your gut. The teachers will all just agree with you later.
I’m still stuck on the fact that some people will hold a child back to give them a leg up with sports 10 years into the future. What in the world? This is precisely why our students are so stressed, parents who don’t let them be children just for the sake of being children.
I’m in the corner of 5+ and a cutoff of August 31st. Both of my kids were winter babies (Jan/Mar) and so it didn’t come into play for us. I did have a friend whose son’s birthday was late summer and she considered keeping him back a year because he wasn’t socially ready. She did send him but then he ended up repeating second grade I believe.
My D has an end of October birthday and our school district cut-off is December 31. She started school the September before she turned 5. She is our youngest of 3 and only girl. Even though she was late to read and was ultimately diagnosed with significant learning disabilities, I wouldn’t change what we did, even in retrospect. To be honest, having started her when we did allowed us to get a head start on those issues because they became evident once she started school. She adjusted and adapted and succeeded, academically and otherwise. Knowing what I know now, would I have held her back…no. Someone will always be the youngest.
“I certainly see the downsides as some of the seniors are 19 or even 20 years old”
Statutory rape laws in high school being one of them. Or bristling at too much authority/restrictions at that age in a high school setting.
I’ve seen a couple people mention holding their kids back for being quiet/shy. Some people are naturally more quiet and shy. For some, that doesn’t go away in a year nor is it necessarily a bad thing to be introverted. I just worry what kind of message is sent to children, even subliminally, if we hold them back for being who they are at their core - quiet or short or whatever attribute might not be temporary.
Bottom line, I think either way things usually do work out fine so you see messages here supporting whatever decision a poster made. Kind of human nature I guess to believe the decisions we each made are the best decisions rather than the path not taken. 
Agreed, @doschicos. When I see some of the behavior of the high school kids at our school, I am surprised, but then I realize I was a college sophomore by their age, so perhaps it shouldn’t be so surprising.