Extenuating Circumstances letter (HELP!)

Transfer Students
1

<p>I really need advice on this letter I’m about to email to NYU! Please help.
If you all could look this over…thanks</p>

<p>In this letter, I attempt to explain the extenuating circumstances that affected my academic record and standardized test scores.
I have been trying to treat my thyroid disease and combat the symptoms and conditions that accompany it for the past five years. When I was 15, I began to experience muscle aches and pains that made it difficult for me to sleep at night. The aches and pains gradually worsened until they eventually ceased in the fall of 2007 and made way for new symptoms. I developed a sensitivity to cold that caused cold hives to appear on my skin. I was greatly distracted by this new symptom, which became worse than the aches and pains I had previously suffered from. I also constantly struggled with the ability to concentrate and perform at the rate that I knew I was capable of performing at.
Eventually more symptoms developed such as, weight fluctuation, sensitivity to heat, swollen eye lids, headaches, and chest pain. In August 2008, after a visit to my pediatrician and blood work, my doctor confirmed I had thyroid disease (hyperthyroidism). All of the symptoms I suffered with were a result of the disease. Then, I was referred to a pediatric endocrinologist, who prescribed me to take medication three-times daily that would help reduce my shockingly high thyroid hormone levels.
I was also referred to an ophthalmologist, who diagnosed me with Graves’ disease of the eye, a result of my thyroid disease. After being diagnosed, I struggled with my emotions, ability to stay focused, and sleeping patterns (I either could not sleep, or struggled to stay awake).
Five months after my diagnosis, my doctor and my mother decided it would be best I undergo a total thyroidectomy.
In the spring of 2009, I had my thyroid gland and two hyperthyroid glands removed. I remained in the hospital a day longer than expected due to an extremely low calcium level. After the surgery, I developed iron-deficiency anemia. For months, I took medications in addition to the thyroid hormone replacement drug I was prescribed.
Throughout my senior year, my endocrinologist attempted to find the best dosage of medication to combat my new symptoms now as a hyperthyroid thyroid disease patient and my very low hormone levels.
Throughout my high school years, I had trouble coming to terms with my disease, and managing all of the symptoms. It was a very emotional, difficult and frustrating time in my life. While I have not been ridden of all my symptoms, my condition has improved dramatically.</p>

<p>I hope I have explained the circumstances that have affected my academic record. I am in no way using my disease as an excuse.</p>

2

<p>It’s pretty good. You might want to mention how it affected you, (emotionally, not physically) if its possible, or how it changed you. Not sure how that would work though to be honest. Just a suggestion.</p>

<p>My letter was less serious, as I was just an immature kid who didn’t study in high school. At the end, I just put that, my college grades are much much higher and that my thinking towards academics in general has changed etc. something to that effect.</p>

3

<p>As a freshman applicant who had undergone chemotherapy and radiation in my junior year of high school after being diagnosed with a blood related cancer, I had to write one of these letters to explain my standardized test scores and lack of AP courses (due to having to drop all of mine for Jr. year). The only advice that I can give you when writing a letter is to write it a moderate tone. Don’t write anything that screams PITY and use your illness as the main scapegoat for your academic performance. Colleges do not want to hear that. They want to see how battling such a disease affected you and how you changed from it. I focused on how having an ailment did affect my academic record but also highlighted how it changed my perspective on life and how it enlightened me to take charge (start a club and use my own experiences to help others).</p>

<p>Hope this helps!</p>

4

<p>I would suggest a slightly more upbeat tone in the following sense - a short paragraph that explains how you are now in a solid place in terms of academics and your emotional health. (Don’t say “I am emotionally healthy now” – instead demonstrate it by saying something like “With my disease now diagnosed and treated, I have joined group XYZ and am active in ABC volunteering group. More detail here, etc.”)</p>

<p>You may want to use the punchline of your diagnosis in the first or second sentence… it takes waaaay too long to read find out this is not a slight problem with a thyroid. In the first one or two sentences, say that you have Graves disease and had surgery to remove your thyroid. Then you can backtrack and explain how it unfolded. I think at times you give too many details… be more concise about the disease part and use the extra free space to write about how you are successful academically and socially today.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

<p>Btw, do you have the money to attend NYU? So many CCers worry about getting accepted but then are shocked when they (like most kids at NYU) get minimal financial aid packages.</p>

5

<p>Thank you all for the feedback. It really helped me see what I needed to change.</p>

<p>@annikasorrensen: I love NYU, and I have considered the cost of attending the school. I’m also interested in UMass-Amherst for the medical research they do.</p>