Extracurricular activity short essay critique?

<p>Odyssey of the Mind, an international creative problem-solving competition that emphasizes the ability to overcome challenges, was a test for my collaborative, creative, and leadership abilities. My team consisted of five other students and each one of us were extremely diverse, coming from all different walks of life. At first we did not work well together, but over time our differences only complimented each other and as a team, we flourished. Our task was to design, build, and run one or more vehicles that used mousetraps as their only source of energy and complete a set of tasks and a performance with the vehicles. I learned that combining everybodys ideas and skills was the best way to create the most successful product, even if it meant sacrificing some of my own. On some days I worked up to five hours and when the competition approached, I sacrificed many of my weekends to finalize our creations. My hardwork paid off when we advanced to the state contest, finishing in fourth place. Odyssey of the Mind was more than just a competition, it was my creative outlet and the building block for unexpected friendships.</p>

<p>What do you think? Should i focus more on myself? Please help! I would appreciate any suggestions.</p>

<p>I’m not sure “each one of you” could be diverse; instead, together you were a diverse group. (Putting it another way, one person isn’t diverse, but one person could add diversity to a group.)
adding a few specific details . . about diversity, about your idea, about how you overcame your differences?? would liven it up, IMO.
best of luck.</p>