<p>The prompt is:
Discuss the depth of your involvement in the extracurricular, community, work, or service activity that is of greatest interest to you. Your answer is limited to 3000 characters.
I wanted to grab attention by talking about info about the brain (because its a brain club) but now its a huge opening paragraph thats like a research paper and a smaller 2nd paragraph about the actual club. Can someone not in hs read it and help? </p>
<p>Can you do that without losing the reader’s attention? Remember that the first paragraph, even in a short essay, MUST capture the reader’s attention. It’s very hard to regain it once it’s lost.</p>
<p>Also, I am a big proponent of the essay reading like it would sound if you were telling it. Can you see the words of that first paragraph coming out of your mouth if you were (excitedly) telling someone about the “brain club?”</p>