<p>Why does everyone put so much emphasis on eye contact? I can’t stand people who keep staring at me the ENTIRE time while talking to me. It’s like, are other people’s faces THAT interesting? Are they going to morph into monstrous blobs of spaghetti while speaking? Personally, I give eye contact once in a while during conversations, but around half the time I look to the side or something because it feels too awkward…</p>
<p>PS. This forum is infested with politics =.</p>
<p>I’m autistic, and I used to get beatings for not looking my mommy in the eye.
I’m now unfeelingly manipulative and political, using eye contact as a utensil.</p>
<p>Eye contact seems to be an evolutionary adaptation, although I think it is vestigial now, and at times counterproductive.
The advantage of eye contact would be precisely what police use it for in behaviour analysis: an instant conveying of emotional state, however ambiguous. Some of the expressions are learned in culture, but anthropologists have demonstrated that this is not always the case.
Hopefully higher rates of autism will rid this earth of such silly habits.</p>
<p>PS. Help keep the Google Chrome incognito topic alive.</p>
<p>A good principle that I abide by is to give other guys an occasional glance maybe every ten seconds or so, and to stare at women when I talk to them. This is because most men would be very uncomfortable with another man staring at them so intently, and women on the other hand, will assume you lack confidence if you break eye contact. So a 10%, 100% ratio is usually a good idea. </p>
<p>But you seem somewhat mistaken in your post. Eye contact is not about staring at another person’s face, checking to see whether they have zits or need to trim their nose hairs. You can usually tell when a person is doing this, and this is very different from standard eye contact. People engage in normal eye conduct because eyes are very effective tools for communicating both subtlety and emotion. I imagine it serves quite an important function in communication.</p>
<p>GregoryMitchell’s observation is known, but is a bit culture-specific.</p>
<p>Here are some links to works pinpointing certain properties of Eye Contact.
I also recall an essay explaining that one of the failures of early Internet video conferencing concerned the difficulty in making eye contact.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.hft.org/HFT06/paper06/37_Bondareva.pdf[/url]”>http://www.hft.org/HFT06/paper06/37_Bondareva.pdf</a>
<a href=“http://www.pnas.org/cgi/reprint/99/14/9602.pdf[/url]”>http://www.pnas.org/cgi/reprint/99/14/9602.pdf</a>
<a href=“Home | Advance HE”>Home | Advance HE;
<a href=“http://psyphz.psych.wisc.edu/web/News/Sciam_autism_0305.pdf[/url]”>http://psyphz.psych.wisc.edu/web/News/Sciam_autism_0305.pdf</a>
[Newborns</a> Know how to make eye contact ( According to a recent study infants as…)](<a href=“http://www.bio-medicine.org/medicine-news/Newborns-Know-how-to-make-eye-contact--4335-1/]Newborns”>http://www.bio-medicine.org/medicine-news/Newborns-Know-how-to-make-eye-contact--4335-1/)</p>
<p>I think key is…
1st learn that you have to learn to make contact with your eyes…to have some semblance of being a good communicator
2nd…don’t be afraid to look people in the eyes
3rd…Stop thinking about making eye contact. Just think, speak with your hands, engage with your eyes</p>
<p>Well, that’s just my way.</p>
<p>I think I need eye contact inorder to not be antisocial again. It just helps me open up. Eye contact with guys your age is a totally different thing tho.</p>
<p>It’s not just about eye contact. It is about engagement. It’s not about you. It is about the interest and feelings you show towards others. Eye contact is just one of the tools that people use for communication. Along with a smile, a frown, laughter or a sigh, eye contact conveys a connection with another person </p>
<p>My mother is 80, somewhat frail and is a cancer survivor. When she remembers something that happened when she was young and brings it up in conversation, I “see” her face and hear her voice become animated. She looks at me and shares her thoughts. She is “looking” at me to find relevance and connection. She searches my face to find interest and understanding. She is not alone. </p>
<p>I don’t expect you to remember this, seeing that you’re just starting your adult life, but I hope you do…</p>