<p>D is a senior and husband starting divorce process. If D chooses a college that requires the css, but does not require the non custodial parent part of the css, does that mean that next year, they will only look at my income as the custodial parent? (They already have the 2007 income info and we did not qualify for FA due to my husbands income) OR should we choose a school that only requires the FAFSA? Thank you!</p>
If D chooses a college that requires the css, but does not require the non custodial parent part of the css, does that mean that next year, they will only look at my income as the custodial parent?
<p>Not going to happen. If this year you file the CSS profile as a married couple. If you attend a school that gives their own institutional monies, the only thing it means is next year, you will file both custodial and non-custodial forms (whether it is the profile or the school's own form).</p>
<p>If you do not want your soon to be ex husband's income & assets in the equation, then you should file to a FAFSA only school (however, keep in mind that child support and alimony are considered income on the FAFSA)</p>
If you do not want your soon to be ex husband's income & assets in the equation, then you should file to a FAFSA only school (however, keep in mind that child support and alimony are considered income on the FAFSA)
<p>Also, the school could ask for more documents than just the FAFSA, e.g. tax returns from both of you.</p>
<p>Yes, all the other posters are correct....and if ex does not want to pay for an expensive school ( our situation) I feel that you are better just sticking with FAFSA schools.
I do wish that someone could explain just why it is that the costly schools, which have huge endowments, are the ones that are so strict with divorced families?</p>
<p>Because it is the responsibility of the parents, divorced or not, to pay for their childrens' education. If they were not strict about it, any parent could just say, "Sorry, we're not paying" and expect others to pay. You don't want to be penalized because you're divorced; I don't want to be penalized because I'm married. And if it were simple to say, "We're divorced; don't count dad", how quickly do you think we'd go for a paper divorce?</p>
<p>Your ex is still your child's father and should be treated the same way regardless of the marital status of the parents.</p>
<p>I completely disagree with you. Most mothers end up much worse off financially than the fathers. That is a statistical fact. Just because a father has wealth does not mean that the courts award it to the mother and children.
There is a real dichotomy between what happens in court, and what the colleges expect to happen.
I would hope that neither you, nor any family members find yourself in this situation! How cold and unsympathetic!</p>
<p>Until the courts address this issue, children of divorce will continue to get the short end of the stick.</p>
<p>You can get it written into your divorce agreement I believe- if dad wants a divorce and he can afford it- why not stipulate that he continue to support his kids?
( or go to a FAFSA only school- or work on your marriage- I mean really- who can afford to get divorced now days?)
There may not be attractive choices but there are choices.</p>
<p>Wow, Emerald !!Nice of you to say that...hope for your sake that karma is just a myth...
FYI, I divorced my ex 10 years ago, as he was abusive and philandering.<br>
While many things can, indeed be worked upon ( such as boredom in a marriage) if only one person wants to change, why should children be made to suffer in that type of marriage?
The appropriate choice would be not to marry such a person. Too late to think of that by the time you have kids.
I only hope that you, Emerald, are immune to such errors, and that your children never make such mistakes.
Back to the college thing....most divorce agreements do not stipulate that kids can go to the college of their choice. That just does not happen in the courts today.</p>
<p>Now , back to the OP: Applicantmum, since your husband is the one wanting the divorce, perhaps your lawyer could work it out so your ex does have to pay for private college?</p>
<p>If not, FAFSA only schools are your best bet.</p>
<p>sorry to hear you are going thru a divorce at same time as your d is starting college...so many additional issues to deal with at a time when you're struggling emotionally. I am a single parent w three kids -- divorced due to significant issues and it was a healthy and strong thing to do as a mother. the reality is two incomes of divorced parents supporting two households is not the same as two incomes under one roof--additionally in terms of EFC determination married couples get a higher income alllowance,(quite a bit more than double) of the income allowance permitted for a single parent--pretty backward. so please lets respect each other's individual situations--and have some understanding of what it is really like for many people.</p>
<p>Sorry if my post sounded "cold". I acknowledge that women often do not fair well in divorce and that their standard of living goes down. And I sympathize with them. (Yes, several people in my family have gone or are going through this.)</p>
<p>My point was simply that if there is a problem with fathers stepping up to the plate, the solution belongs in the family courts and the divorce process. It doesn't belong at the door to colleges' financial aid offices.</p>
<p>agreed, but the colleges can recognize the inherent differences in supporting two households and not simply add two incomes together--as well as be equal in their income allowance -- it is the single parent who is penalized in regards to income allowance and noone knows why.</p>
<p>lindz, I believe that they do consider the costs of two separate households in their institutional methodology to determine "need". At least most schools say they do. And that's legitimate; they should. I don't know anyone except the very wealthy who is happy with their EFC!</p>
<p>But that's different than saying "We have a greater need since the non-custodial parent refuses to pay."</p>
<p>It is only fair that both divorced parents be expected to pay. Both married parents are expected to pay. Sometimes in married couples one parents won't step up to the plate either.
There are countless examples of kids of divorced parents who come from middle class families who qualify for federal grants because their parents are divorced. I think it is the married parents who suffer.
I know kids whose parents are divorced - mom refuses to get remarried so it doesn't interfere with financial aid. Dad is a professional (lawyer etc) making a nice living and the kid qualifies for federal grants. Then there are the married couples who work 3 jobs between them......
don't get me started.</p>
<p>If you are divorced and the non-custodial parent makes significantly more money but won't write a check for tuition then apply to fafsa only schools.
In many cases your kid will get a very nice financial aid package.</p>
<p>Lindz, thank you for your reasoned and understanding post. My student has in fact decided to apply to only FAFSA schools. She feels too "shut out' by the "rich kid schools".
While I can certainly understand why schools do not wish to be ripped off by parents "gaming 'the system...
can someone please tell me why it is the schools with the largest endowments that are the strictest with children from divorced families?
Perhaps there is a lot of abuse of the system, and I am just unaware of it...parents preferring to vacation in Bermuda, rather than paying tuition? I suppose it is possible, and that is what these schools are up against.</p>
<p>* only one person wants to change, why should children be made to suffer in that type of marriage? *</p>
<p>I'm sorry if I wasn't more clear in my post , I meant to suggest that if your spouse wants a divorce and he makes more money- stipulate that it be part of the agreement. so you have that option.</p>
<p>There is also the option of only applying to FAFSA only schools, couples who are still married don't have that option to withhold one income.</p>
<p>I agree it is hard to decide and hard to work on a marriage, and I have sympathy for those who have decided that it is time ,however, I believe we even have someone who is running for president who decided to stay and work on her marriage- so not every one who does so, does it for financial reasons. </p>
<p>I appreciate your concern for my children- but they had as their first choice in-state public schools, it was only after my oldest took a year off to volunteer, that she decided to attend an expensive private , my youngest still has as her 1st choice the public, and will be able to graduate without loans.So they are doing fine thanks :)</p>
<p>Emerald, you misunderstood me, I meant that I hope that YOUR kids do not choose as unwisely as I did in picking a spouse. I have no worries about your children and college, as it sounds like you have all of your ducks in a row, nice for you and your family!</p>
<p>As for the person running for office with the philandering husband, I daresay she would have left him if he had been violent? Sometimes there are few options in deciding "to stay and work on a marriage', as you so smugly have put it. Violence and addiction are deal breakers for me, and for most women.</p>
<p>I lurked on this board for over a year before posting. I was afraid to post my situation, because of my fear of unkind posts such as yours.</p>
<p>actually most colleges simply add together divorced parents incomes, ignoring the two household issue and as I mentioned give proportionately less income allowance to single parents. I am surprised at how there is a perception of wealthy divorced parents trying to rip off a system--maybe I am clueless but there are many more very hard working single mothers who want the best for their children as all of us do and simply wish additional odds were not placed against our kids. please respect that wanting this is clearly not what keeeps being mentioned about married people being disadvantaged somehow by divorced parents</p>
<p>Violence and addiction are deal breakers for me, and for most women.</p>
<p>You really know nothing of what I have experienced in my life- but since you are brand new to the boards, I will welcome you and ask you to understand that we all have our own choices and demons & I am not belittling you when I suggest that not everyone would make the same choice.</p>
<p>If you have lived with someone who is an addict and abusive, and only now when your child is entering college are divorcing, you have lived through much more than a comment on an advice board that you feel is unkind.
However I have noticed that people will take much more criticism from "family" than they will from strangers.
<p>BUt re aid- there are choices for students who are ready to go to college- but since you are jsut starting the process of divorce I will reiterate that if your spouse wants out, put in writing his support through their college education. There is no reason why you should be paying for that alone.</p>
<p>Thanks Lindz...and I was halfway kidding when I asked if there were all of these divorced parents trying to rip off colleges. I just do not believe it.
I do not own a home, and have not been on a real vacation ( other than going to see family 3 hours away) in 12 years, so I do not fit into that category, nor does anyone else I know. I do not see how we hurt all of the married people with financial aid!
I am glad that the college app process works out so well for many. Emerald, I looked up some of your prior posts, and see that your kids have been on a great path to college for many years. That is nice for you, but not everyone is so advantaged.
I would respectfully ask that we divorced parents be allowed to discuss our situations in regard to college admission with each other! If others have something positive to add that is fine, but please, no more moralizing about divorce. Please!</p>
<p>emerald, you are confusing me with the OP, who sadly has been lost in the shuffle here.
Please, just let those of us who are in this situation discuss this. You have made your points, but it is time to move on.</p>