<p>That is what I meant by being in the same network. If you join your child’s network, you will be able to see most of the page, but less then a friend would see. Of course if(or rather when) the “monitored” child will find out…i wouldn’t want to be in the position of a parent.</p>
<p>^^^ Are you sure about that? From what I have seen on my kid’s accounts, if someone is set to accept only friends the only thing that comes up for non friends (even people from the same network or school) is a small picture, the name and the school - not the profile. I think there are privacy settings to prevent anything other than that from being shown.</p>
<p>There are privacy settings. I allowed my profile to be public in the network of the University of Michigan (only), but after that little News Feed was created last September, I went private. I didn’t like the idea that anyone at my university could see all of my actions on Facebook. With the privacy settings, I can at least control who has access to seeing that information.</p>
<p>However, I will say that if my mom made a Facebook account, I would have no problem friending her. I have nothing to hide.</p>
<p>My account is not anonymous. It clearly says who I am (Indiana alum) and has my picture. My daughter’s friends and boyfriend have “friended” me and I enjoy looking at the pictures they all post on their pages. I’m not on there just to spy- I really enjoy it. There are some clever and interesting things on the kids’ pages. I get to see college-age pictures of kids I haven’t seen since my kids were in junior high!</p>
<p>There are privacy settings of course. I was talking about general rules. I belong to a rather large local network, the great majority of people in it are of age and so far I haven’t encountered any “locked” pages. HS network will probably( hopefully) be different. And of course it would be not a good thing to pretend to be a HS student just to spy on your kid.</p>
<p>MOWC: ditto. 
I also enjoy looking at all sorts of facebook groups. “I ve’ been to Kahlotus” is one of my favorites( Kahlotus is a “no street-light” town in the middle of nowhere in Eastern Washington) .</p>
<p>MOWC, I feel the same way. In fact, I make digital prints of some of the photos. My profile also says XXXX Univ. alum. Among the groups I’ve joined are: You might have grown up in the 60s if… 
Annie Hall changed my life Banishment of Rachael Ray from American Soil Diet Coke Runs Through My Veins Beautiful Jewish Women.</p>
<p>A little perspective from a “S”…</p>
<p>By default, your profile can be seen by everyone in your network, and by all of your friends (regardless of network). You can select which stuff in your profile can be seen by people who are not your friends, at various levels, until only your friends can see more than your name and school.</p>
<p>My mom once hinted she’d like to look at my facebook. I didn’t refuse, but I hinted back I would rather not, and she didn’t press the issue.</p>
<p>Why I didn’t want to? I dunno. Not because I have anything to hide - nothing on my FB is something I would not want my parents, professors, employers, etc. to see… If my mom had insisted I would have given her access or even “friended” her.</p>
<p>Probably it’s more of a principle thing than anything else, like rummaging through my stuff when I’m not around, or emailing my professors without asking/telling me. I might be mildly upset if those things happened, but can understand if there were valid concerns. </p>
<p>Which is to say there are probably parents out there with valid concerns - some facebook profiles I read, I wonder “doesn’t this guy worry about his parents/professors/employers seeing this??”. Unfortunately, I can see how it is difficult to tell if a parent’s concerns are valid or not without actually looking at the profile.</p>
<p>For the just curious, though, I might suggest the “responsible 3rd-party” approach. If there is an older sibling, cousin, or even “cool” aunt or uncle with access to facebook, have them “friend” your son or daughter, and ask them if you should be concerned. I know I certainly would not find that intrusive at all.</p>
<p>I got someones password and now can check facebook whenever I want. I will not tell my children I have this. My daughter has shown me hers at times and others but would die if she knew I could see. I also use it to see what my other daughters bf is up to. I know it’s wrong but as a parent I will do what I have to to protect my kids. There are many drunken pics on facebook and I am afraid they could come back to haunt some kids. Anyone with a college email can join and you would be surprised how many “friends are accepted”. Also by clicking on the home page any change anyone in your friends makes is known to everyone immediatiely including time of day change took place.</p>
<p>How do you get in a “Network”?</p>
<p>Oh, momowildchild, I have loved reading your posts because wildchild is indeed a challenging lad to raise and being quite the success. Opening up the pandoras box of his facebook might be more than you can handle and will inevitably be heard in your voice the next time you chat. Do you really want to do this:)?</p>
<p>Oh, and to answer your ?, I have no idea.</p>
<p>Sax- I already learned quite a lot, not so much from WildChild’s profile but from comments on his “Wall” from other people and from some of his writings, but he has cut off my source! I mainly enjoy facebook through my D’s site, pictures and friends. :)</p>
<p>Sorry about the incomplete post – how did that happen?? The rest of the story.</p>
<p>This year, the HS Guidance Counselor retired after 30 years on the job. Apparently, the students are less than thrilled with his replacement.</p>
<p>They have started a Facebook site called “Bring Back Mr. ______”. That’s all well and good – freedom of expression and all.</p>
<p>Here’s where it goes astray. The comments on the site about the new GC are not just highly derogatory, they have become degrading (the new GC is a woman).</p>
<p>The question is this – should I let the GC or Principal know that this site exists? I would think they would want to know because, 1. they should get some sense of the discontent of the students and, more importantly, 2. it is entirely inappropriate to allow students to make lurid comments about teachers in a public forum.</p>
<p>I’m torn about how to proceed with this knowledge.</p>
<p>Ah, so it’s a chess game. Wish I could help:)</p>
<p>The principal and gc probably already know that anyone who replaces a 30 year employee isn’t going to be well-received if the 30 year employee was at all well-liked. If there are specific issues related to performance, those are worth mentioning, but you can bring them up without referencing Facebook if you don’t want to.</p>
<p>As for #2, I guess the question is whether you think the kids should have to face consequences for what they’ve already posted or if you just want the egregious statements off of Facebook. If it’s the latter, it might be better to talk to the kids yourself about this kind of hate speech and the harm it does, and try to help them see the difference between venting grievances (real or imagined) and demeaning people. Once you report the situation to the school, it’s really out of your hands what happens next (though you could see if they have a policy that will help you predict what will happen). </p>
<p>In an ideal world, I guess what I would do is to talk to the kids first, and see if I could get the comments down myself. Then once I know that the kids are basically safe from retaliation, I’d be tempted to go talk to the principal and gc about the hostility toward women among these kids, and see what ideas the school has for addressing it. </p>
<p>It’s unfortunate though that our society is so saturated with the idea that anytime a woman is in a position of power, influence or responsibility outside of the home, particularly if that postion was formerly held by a man, she is “fair game” for this kind of treatment. This response may be so ingrained in these kids by now that there’s nothing you or anyone can do to change it.</p>
<p>Very thoughtful comments.</p>
<p>I have a concern about going to the kids themselves. Is it really appropriate to go to the kids without talking to their parents? I could very easily see a situation where I speak to the kids, the parents find out and come to me and say “why didn’t you come to us, you have no right going to our kid without telling us about it.” Some parents get very aggitated when you go around them.</p>
<p>Honestly, my gut reaction is that this speech is so agregious that there out to be consequences for these actions. But that’s my gut, not my brain.</p>
<p>If the comments are confined to a public forum, and are made without the use of school facilities, it is unclear to me what the school can do about it. </p>
<p>Perhaps the owner of the public forum would be interested and would also be in a position to do something about it.</p>
<p>I am highly skeptical about approaching other parents, or their children, about misbehavior or alleged misbehavior.</p>
<p>Oh, good point, it probably is better to talk to the parents first. I forgot you wouldn’t even necessarily know the kids posting on the site, much less have an opportunity to talk to them arise naturally out of them being in your home visiting your kids or whatever. </p>
<p>And if it’s that bad, maybe it is better to let the school deal with it, whatever the consequences. It would be interesting to see how the kids react if they are asked to say the things to the gc’s face, in front of their parents, that they said behind her back.</p>
<p>But I keep being torn between one the one hand, feeling that kids should be able to have at least some fraction of the privacy we took for granted at their age…and on the other, worry that if the kids are already this hostile toward women, what they will be like as adults if no one steps in now to tell them it’s not acceptable.</p>
<p>“If the comments are confined to a public forum, and are made without the use of school facilities, it is unclear to me what the school can do about it.”</p>
<p>You’d be surprised, Adad. Some pretty interesting things have happened around those kind of questions.</p>
<p>I know of another situation where a group of students made degrading comments about a young female teacher on Facebook or MySpace. The school was notified and gave out lengthy suspensions to those involved. I doubt very strongly that notifying the Facebook administrator would yield any results.</p>
<p>I also think that kids who post on Facebook, with their names and pictures clearly evident, should have no expectation of privacy. I really see no difference between posting this on Facebook with no privacy restrictions and putting a banner up in the school hallway saying the same things.</p>