<p>As a parent, I have heard some absolute horror stores about stupid things that kids have done on Facebook and other such sites. So I decided to keep a somewhat anonymous account on Facebook to stay abreast of impending disasters.</p>
<p>This year we have a new guidance counselor in the high school, replacing one that had been there for 30 years. The students </p>
<p>hm, looks like your message got cut off. I’m surprised you need to create an anonymous account. Why don’t you just ask to use your son or daughter’s account?</p>
<p>Waiting to hear the rest of the story . . .</p>
<p>Unless your child accepts you as a friend, you have no way to monitor anything, but if he/she does it, you are no longer anonymous. The only other possibility is to belong to the same network( local or HS) .</p>
<p>Parabella is correct. I have to say, though, that I see this as a completely inappropriate action, particularly if we’re talking about college students. A facebook account can only be seen by users listed as “friends” or users in the same network (say, the Reed College network), which makes it significantly safer than a site like MySpace. What kind of disasters are you worried about?</p>
<p>I, too, would like to hear the rest of the story. However, while facebook is much more protected than MySpace, employers do have ways of seeing your profile. Employers will (and have) asked people on staff to check out applicants who went to their college. According to career services offices at colleges, students have had job offers rescinded because of the material employers saw on their profile.</p>
<p>My impression is that even if one is on the same network, if a profile is set to private, or friends only, then only those people can see your profile. Nevertheless, my kids have occasionally shown me profiles of their friends - so in that sense they can never be considered completely private.</p>
<p>At some point, you have to trust what you raised.</p>
<p>True, Opie. But for some people, that point comes somewhere around their last rites.</p>
<p>I know if I suggested that my kids give me access to their Facebook pages, it would go over like a proposal to have the CIA inspect Iranian nuclear facilities. It might be a great idea, but it ain’t gonna happen, and neck-hairs will bristle.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s a trust issue. I think sometimes kids are not aware of the danger of posting pictures on the internet, and they need to be aware of it. My older D is on the Facebook (but not my 13 yr old). We have discussed with her about the kind of pictures that she should not post - any pictures that she wouldn’t want potential employers, schools, or public to view if she were to run for an office some day. </p>
<p>Facebook is a lot safer than MySpace, which she is not allow to post. She said it is a great way to keep in touch. Friends from her nursery school have found her and befriended her. They leave quick little notes for each other. </p>
<p>The down side of Facebook is that kids post their party pictures online, kids that weren’t invited are often hurt. It often becomes a popularity contest.</p>
<p>My kids leave their facebook and myspace pages open on our computer, so I figure it is fair game if I look at them. I have had to tell my younger son on a couple of occasions to clean his up. I think he thinks it is cool (he is 14) to have posts from friends with foul language and such; I don’t. 
I also remind him that if I am looking at it, chances are other parents are too, as well as teachers, coaches and administrators. Everything that is on the page is a reflection of who he is, and hopefully, with some maturity, he will realize that.</p>
<p>My older sons are pretty good about keeping theirs clean. My middle s has been dating a Baptist preacher’s daughter - his is as clean as a whistle due to the fact that her parents routinely check it. 
My oldest s has the maturity to realize everyone has access to everything on the internet and it won’t help during a job search to look like a drunken idiot!</p>
<p>S showed me his facebook page a number of times. He has absolutely nothing to hide. The pictures of him with new friends, of the dorm life, of outings in the city make me feel a little better about the whole empty nest thing. He is obviously enjoying the college life, so mom is happy.</p>
<p>I do have a facebook account (if anyone wants to know anything). D allowed me to “friend” her and S did not.<br>
You can even make parts of your account “private” and block some people from seeing them. For example, you can post “notes” which are like essays and you can restrict who gets to read them, even among your “friends”. </p>
<p>I don’t trust what I raised! (I trust one and don’t trust one- with good reason)
I remember when Facebook first came out, D showed me the profile of one of her former high school classmates who had been a real goody-goody. Well, the facebook picture was of her in lingerie with a martini in her hand!</p>
<p>“think sometimes kids are not aware of the danger of posting pictures on the internet, and they need to be aware of it.”</p>
<p>But then you did what a parent should do…talk about it.</p>
<p>" My older D is on the Facebook (but not my 13 yr old). We have discussed with her about the kind of pictures that she should not post - any pictures that she wouldn’t want potential employers, schools, or public to view if she were to run for an office some day"</p>
<p>There’s a difference between conversation and playing detective. You gave excellent advice and guidence, should you “need” to do more?</p>
<p>MOWC: OK, I’ll join you. I have a facebook account too. Some students with whom I work as an accompanist invited me to join . S has no intension whatsoever to “friend” me, he made it very clear. But as a gesture of goodwill he joined my network, nice kid that he is.</p>
<p>“I don’t trust what I raised! (I trust one and don’t trust one- with good reason)”</p>
<p>Fair enough. One has given you reason for some past situation, keeping tabs is fine. However, if your kids never gave you a reason, would you still feel that way? I can understand if trust had been violated how you could feel. I won’t ask to what signifigance, but if you still feel uncomfortable trusting them it must have been a good one. </p>
<p>"I remember when Facebook first came out, D showed me the profile of one of her former high school classmates who had been a real goody-goody. Well, the facebook picture was of her in lingerie with a martini in her hand! "</p>
<p>Was she over 18? That’s where you shake your head at what some kids do when they get out from under their parents. Repressed kids tend to go a bit over the deep end at the first opportunity.</p>
<p>I don’t have a facebook account, but I have a kid (ldgirl) who frequently tells me to check out her new pics on facebook and gives me her password so that I can. I like having it (the password). Since she never calls home and is pretty darned difficult to reach; it’s nice to check her fb occasionally and see from the activity that she’s still alive. ;)</p>
<p>I have a facebook account and have friended S, his roommate, and a couple of his other friends (they sought me out). I love seeing what his friends look like because it makes me feel closer to S and more involved in his life. I joined several groups, including the fan site for his radio show. We have always been very close—he’s the baby— my baby is almost 20!!! ARRRGGGHHH!!!</p>
<p>Although I don’t have a facebook due to my fear of wasting more time than I already do, I must admit that I would be extremely angry at my parent(s) for doing something as sneaky and deceitful, not not mention smothering, as creating an anonymous account and devising some scheme just to look at my facebook.</p>
<p>Actually, you can have a Facebook account and view your high school student’s pages without them allowing you in as a friend. High schools (most), unlike colleges, do not hand out email addresses to their student with their domain name (ie <a href=“mailto:joe@farberhigh.edu”>joe@farberhigh.edu</a>). So Facebook takes your word for it if you say you are from High School X - they have no way of knowing whether you are or aren’t. Once you have an account with that high school attached to it, you can view anyone who signs up from that high school.</p>