<p>On the other hand, when your child has a FB account, and you have an access to it, it gives you a window to incredible amount of information on what’s going on at various parties, events, etc. from the “source”.</p>
<p>When you see the pics of kids playing beer-pong, or posing with alcoholic drinks in their hands, it will be very hard for your child to convince you that there’s nothing wrong with them being at the party, even if they don’t drink. You’ll be surprised to see how much stuff is posted. </p>
<p>And if your child knows that you have a free access to the account, this is not “spying”, or a breach of trust. It will also prevent your child from posting anything damaging on their page.</p>
<p>Whenever she gets a facebook (it’s probably inevitable) tell her that you must have her username and password and that you will check it periodically. If there’s something on there that her mother/father can’t see, it shouldn’t be on there. Some kids have no idea about what is appropriate to post (girls in skimpy bikinis and poses that are borderline pornographic, etc) so it’s good to keep any eye out. Who cares if she doesn’t like the idea that you have her password? Make that a condition of her getting the acct. If you have the password you can also make sure that her privacy settings are appropriate.</p>
<p>I’ve posted this before, but my favorite story re: myspace involved my niece when she was still in high school (now college junior). My sister was snooping into the myspace account late one night and hit a link from my niece’s page to one of her friend’s pages. There were pictures of a party with all kinds of bottles of alcohol. My sister suddenly recognized HER OWN kitchen wallpaper in the background! She refrained from rushing into my niece’s bedroom and confronting her, because she didn’t want to reveal her source! The situation was handled…</p>
<p>I am generally one of the more permissive parents on this forum (not a good thing), but I would really be hesitant to let a 12 year old on facebook. If I did, I would have the password. That said, I think facebook is genius and my adult friends and I enjoy using it to communicate with each other and our older kids.</p>
<p>First off…Facebook was originally an off shoot from myspace for college age kids. 12 is not appropriate. Myspace was originally created for hs. I would say never ever for a 12 yr old for facebook and I even think it is too young for myspace.</p>
<p>To Be Honest, I am also grossed out by parents that have an acct. facebook was created for college kids. Sorry MOWC…but AIM exists also. There is no safety net for our children on either facebook or myspace from predators.</p>
<p>I too have a story re my niece and myspace. Her friends were actively seeking out my ds who is 4 yrs older. He is very ethical, and walked away, but this is a great place for predators to lie and seek out innocence.</p>
<p>There is absolutely no reason for a 12 yr old to be on facebook. If they want to talk/chat use AIM.</p>
<p>My kids have facebook/myspace. DD is a jr so I do not allow facebook, she has myspace and AIM. I have password and access and some weeks I will check 3x and then not check again for a month. She never knows when I will chime in. I check everything</p>
<p>DS is in college and I have decided to cut my apron strings after 2 yrs of checking on myspace.</p>
<p>Also after several yrs of myspace and facebook, I have learned that you better have a great firewall because viruses and trojans will show up on your computer if you don’t</p>
<p>I think it’s fine for adults to be on Facebook (and I’m in college). A few years ago it would have been strange, but I know many adults on Facebook who are using it for networking, keeping in touch with family, or re-uniting with old friends from college. I have two Facebook friends who are in their 70s. Adults tend to use Facebook a bit differently than college students anyway.</p>
<p>You have to choose your battles. Facebook is pretty harmless if used properly (and if you have access, you can make sure that it is used properly).</p>
<p>On the other hand, if in your child’s social circle the Facebook is indeed used by “everybody”, it can be very socially taxing not to have an account, as now kids use it to invite friends to events, make any kind of public announcements, etc.</p>
<p>If they know how to use it appropriately, I think it’s okay. But I know a lot of middle schoolers who use facebook really inapproriately. The other day something came up on my newsfeed - a wall post from one eighth grader to another going on and on about what was going on with their friendship and did she not like her anymore and to just talk to her about it because she thought they were best friends, etc… Not the thing a kid should be posting on somebody’s wall for everyone to see. It’s hard to not have facebook when all your friends do - like nngmm, says, kids use it to invite each other to events and stuff but they need to be taught how to use it appropriately. I’m a freshman in college and have had mine since junior year of high school - a lot later than most of the kids I know. I’m careful about what I write on other people’s walls, what I use as my status, etc…partly because it’s not just my good friends that I’m friends with on facebook, I’m friends with tons of people from my high school that I knew but wasn’t friends with, I’m friends with faculty from my high school (friended after I graduated, of course) and such and there are things I don’t want to put out in public for everyone to see - and a lot of middle schoolers don’t really get that concept. They also didn’t realize that the faculty was checking up on their facebooks and they could get into trouble about what they had written.</p>
<p>If I have access to her account can I see what she’s writing to other people? How can I monitor that? I really don’t get it at all,unfortunately!</p>
<p>You can see what she’s writing to people because you can see the Walls of all the friends she has (unless they make their Wall private, in which case she can’t write on it). You also get “news feeds” which say things like “Barbara wrote on Jill’s Wall” or “Barbara commented on Jill’s picture”. Lots of times you can learn more from the facebook pages and walls of the friends than from your own kid. The night your kid is at the movies may be shown to be otherwise with a photo album on someone’s facebook saying something like “Pink Drink Party on Friday Night”.</p>
Adults tend to use Facebook a bit differently than college students anyway.</p>