<p>I have a few questions for you parents who are facebook-savvy. D (college freshman) has had a facebook page since sometime in high school (junior year I think or could have been end of sophomore year). I also set up a facebook account then and she friended me but I have never used facebook to communicate with her. Every few weeks I log on just to see if she has posted any pictures or status things. Tonight I helped a friend of mine set up a facebook account and using her account (she and D are not friends) I found D’s page and realized that D has a lot of information that is available to people who are not her friends. (I hope this is making sense.) Nothing inappropriate like wild party pictures but her school and other basic info, and all of the comments people have posted on her wall.</p>
<p>This makes me uncomfortable but I don’t really know why. Should I be concerned?</p>
<p>It could be that when the new privacy stuff went into effect a few months ago she did not reset her privacy settings to where it stayed relatively private. This happened to a lot of people I know (including me). Before the updates they had very private settings, and the new stuff did not default to the previously selected privacy settings. She may not even realize how open hers is now. You might mention to her that she might want to check her privacy settings.</p>
<p>She should change all her settings to “friends only”!!! Definitely. There is a good NYT article about the 5 settings everyone should change to protect their privacy on facebook. I encourage you to search for it online and share it with her!</p>
<p>Swimcatsmom and Anxiousmom are right on. Facebook made some changes a month or two ago and for some users, the default now is for much less privacy than before.</p>
<p>I would definitely suggest to her to review her privacy settings. Be sure she understands that if she allows “friends of friends” to see her photos and general information, all of that can be seen by anyone who is a “friend” of any of her friends. Lots of kids have over 500 friends, so think of how many of her friends’ “friends” have access to all of that. I think it’s a little creepy! She will have no control how all of those friends of friends use what they see on her facebook page.</p>
<p>Honestly, the privacy stuff doesn’t make much difference. The only thing I have on private is my pictures. </p>
<p>Anyone can see my name, anyone can see my default pic, and anyone can see by my network which college I go to just by doing a search of my name. That is more than enough information if anyone wanted to track your D. Hiding all the other stuff is just for peace of mind IMO.</p>
<p>If you don’t enter your college (or hometown or whatever), it won’t be on there. You can also make sure your facebook page doesn’t come up with a Google search. I think it’s worth keeping it private enough that a total stranger can’t see your info.</p>
<p>To be completely honest- who is going to look up a random stranger’s info? I understand, some strange things happen, but really… who is going to be like “I’m going to find Jane Smith and stalk her.” If the person looking for you wants to find YOU specifically, it can be done. If they are looking for random people then what are the odds that you’re going to get chosen randomly?</p>
<p>Sorry, I guess it goes with being a child of the technology age that I have different viewpoints than parents <em>shrugs</em>.</p>
<p>Lots of people include an awful lot of personal and identifying information about themselves on the “Info” part of their page, and again, that would be available to scores of random friends of friends that you don’t know.</p>
<p>I am an avid Facebook user, and strongly suggest that she make all of her settings “friends only.” I agree with others that she probably didn’t notice to update when Facebook changed its privacy settings about 6 weeks ago.</p>
<p>Question about the settings–in practice, does it make a difference if you can be searched for on Google, or just on Facebook? Since anyone can join FB and get the same info that they’d get by googling, what does it change? (Sincere question–there may well be a good reason, but I haven’t figured it out yet.)</p>
<p>I don’t think the privacy settings on these types of webpages matter. I’ve seen numerous interesting news articles that say college admissions officials can view these types of pages. I have always assumed that perhaps they have some kind of special software that allows them to do this. Anyone else know anything about that?</p>
<p>They can. Some have suggested that they even make fake students to get access to other’s profiles. Seems to me like it’s probably fake because most places aren’t going to spend that much time and effort on every candidate. Now a job is a different story! Just use common sense- keep drinking pictures, any illegal activity, etc off your page and you will be fine. Really- it’s just common sense above all us. Heck, I gladly added my boss :).</p>
<p>It is pretty interesting, roman. I’m curious though. Many students, inevitability, post drinking pictures on these types of sites. Isn’t that a violation of student conduct at colleges?</p>
<p>^ Probably. Which is why- again- people shouldn’t do stupid things like post pictures of themselves doing illegal things. That whole common sense issue again.</p>
<p>And of course, all of our kids have an abundance of common sense. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Occasionally there have been things on my Ds Facebook page that I wish weren’t there and sometimes they are things posted by others on her wall. I haven’t said too much as there’s nothing really damaging like illegal activity- more a matter of a different standard of decorum between generations. It does bother me, but I don’t think my objections make any difference- there are some real generational divides in what is “appropriate” for even “friends only” public consumption. She can’t really control what others do or write, either. </p>
<p>I try to remember where my head was when I was that age, and it helps. But I do sometimes wonder what sweet “Aunt Mary,” who is also her facebook friend, thinks when one of her male friends posts something meant to be humorous that is also a bit “off color” to us older folks.</p>
<p>MC- my niece is a sweet girl in a very conservative family yet her FB is filled with typical (what we oldsters would see as) slutty looking photos taken of herself in the mirror in a bathing suit, etc. I always wonder if her mother, who is her friend, can see all those???</p>
<p>I do think there’s a way to select which friends see what, but I’m not sure. (not actually a member myself, but DH is)
In my case, it’s more a matter of language. I don’t use any profanity in public (or private for that matter) and I guess it still bothers me to “hear” four letter words in print coming from Dd or her friends. But I have to adjust-- It’s my 50s upbringing. ;)</p>
<p>I’ll admit, though, that I’m not convinced others wouldn’t be bothered as I am. Future employer? Don’t the kids care what others might think? Guess not.</p>
<p>Maybe I’m a little more sensitive about these privacy issues, having been stalked by a total stranger when I was younger. Just because it hasn’t happened to you, don’t assume that it doesn’t happen. I am absolutely sure that my stalker would have tried to find me on Facebook if it had been around. People, including me, are pretty indiscriminate about who they friend. I accepted a friend request from someone I didn’t now with whom I had 3 or 4 mutual friends. He turned around and sent my college age D a friend request. Luckily, she didn’t friend him but did ask me who this guy was. I was really emabarassed to admit I didn’t know him! Needless to say, I de-friended him pronto. I’ve also since asked my real friends whether they knew him and none of them did! AND, he continues to send friend requests to my list of friends! </p>
<p>I use Facebook as mostly a network and promotional tool for work (many in my line of work do), so have many friends who I haven’t met in person. It gets a little sticky now that my family is on it too. I think I need to start a separate account for family and personal friends only. Maybe I’ll call it ‘Mom’.</p>
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No, it’s because I’m a parent that I have a different viewpoint.</p>