Factors associated with marriages' lasting

<p>LOL mbagrad! Reminds me of a similar joke about a couple who goes to the H’s 25th HS reunion. He points out a woman, clearly intoxicated, sitting at a nearby table. He says to his wife “thats my old HS sweetheart. After we broke up, she started to drink”. The wife replied “well, you’d think she’d have stopped celebrating by now!”</p>

<p>woody–
we are old broads with young kids. I had mine at 33 and 37. I figured when they became teenagers and were going to cause me to tear my hair out, I’l be too old and demented to care-- I’d be sittting onthe porch drooling into a cup.</p>

<p>ellemenope-
Good point. I do think career women have more choices, as they arent dependent on their spouses income. I’ve heard of several cases where the couple divorced and the H hit the wife up for alimony and child support. In fact, this happened to a good friend of mine in VA. Kid stayed with the dad just enough hours in the week (o r days inthe month, I forget) where my friend had to pay her H child support. And he had a separate side business with the $$ hidden or sheltered somehow. Sheesh.</p>

<p>The main factor associated with marriage longevity is the ability to put up with crap.</p>

<p>LOL NJres. I think they forgot to list the crap threshold index as one of the criteria in the study. I think my H has a higher crap threshold than I do (or is it - I doo, or I doo doo??) He is pretty easy going. My crap-o-meter alarm goes off a lot earlier, but neither of us hold grudges, so we tend to dump out the crap bucket and move on.</p>

<p>NJRes, I think you nailed it!</p>

<p>BB-

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<p>That conjures up unpleaseant imagery…</p>

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<p>Funny, but also not funny. When I hear folks (usually pastors) talk about the good old days when the divorce rate was lower, I think of all those women who were uneducated, financially dependent and had more kids than they wanted, who put up with *too much *crap because they saw no other options.</p>

<p>think an important componet to my marriage lasting is sharing similar values and standards. We have had stresses but IMO loving and being married is a decision. bottom line we may not always agree but we have each other’s back. We just celebrated 25 years.</p>

<p>though the “CRAP FACTOR” does figure in to it.</p>

<p>Marry an Engineer. Engineers are too lazy to run around once they have found an optimum solution.</p>

<p>But simba, they’ll drive you crazy if the house is out of plumb. (I’m married to one too).</p>

<p>On the occasion of our 25th anniversary my brother wrote me a nice email asking the secret of a long marriage. Among the factors he suggested was “trigger locks.” Funny and not funny I know but it made me laugh.</p>

<p>missypie, I don’t think we meant* that kind *of crap. I meant minor crap, like toilet seats left up, wet towels on the floor, buying too many tools (or shoes)… I learned long time ago to pick my battles wisely. We’ve been together for 25 years…</p>

<p>simba makes a great point. Process development scientists fit that mold, too. :D</p>

<p>“But simba, they’ll drive you crazy if the house is out of plumb.”</p>

<p>Ask him to fix it (which he never will, but you will have to indulge him by buying all the tools), but once in a while use it as your trump card. Remind him about the out-of-plumbness.</p>

<p>Very good topic. I think sometimes having a “bad memory” is a good thing. My wife seems to have perfect recall of every mistake small and big, every detail of every incident going back to when we got married. I don’t think remembering the other’s faults to such an extent is a blessing, seriously. By contrast I have been accepting and usually don’t carry a grudge.</p>

<p>Yikes Calif-dad - you aren’t my husband by any chance are you?</p>

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The only aspect of our wedding about which I could get my engineer to care was the cake. He was incredibly concerned that the cake have a particular aspect ratio, and became somewhat agitated trying to explain the proper proportions to the baker.</p>

<p>^ There you go. You need to learn how to keep an engineer intrigued by trivial stuff.</p>

<p>Y’all are cracking me up. It’s good to know that there are others who understand the peculiarities of the true engineer’s mind.</p>

<p>Simba, fortunately the out-of-plumb house was our first, many years and many miles ago.</p>

<p>I can say all those things with confidence. I am a HE engineer married for 33 years</p>

<p><a href=“do%20they%20really%20think%20you%20can’t%20smell%20the%20smoke%20on%20their%20clothes?”>i</a>*
just be happy it( if ) is tobacco</p>