<p>You guys are great!</p>
<p>momofthree–I’m really trying to let him find his own path, as hard as it is to watch him stumble. In middle and high school, I repeatedly told his teachers that he “learns by doing, not by listening.” It doesn’t just apply to teachers’ lectures in Chemistry or Psychology class, it also applies to any lectures Mom and Dad are tempted to subject him to. He doesn’t learn unless he experiences it for himself.</p>
<p>poetgrl–Retesting is not necessary to get disability services from the university. The Disabilities Coordinator has already offered to help in any way possible. And new eval scores probably wouldn’t change the accommodations the college could provide. He has such wacky psychoeducational evals with incredible scatter. He doesn’t fit the traditional model of IQ/achievement discrepancy. One neuropsych emphatically told me it was “impossible” for a person to get the scores my son got on the IQ and achievement tests. But he did, even on retesting. The neuropsych then told me my son would never graduate from high school. He did graduate…and with a 3.2 GPA.</p>
<p>What my son must do is accept his learning style and embrace that it does not mean he is “dumb.” He can articulate his learning strengths and weaknesses and had a “self-advocacy” goal on his IEP through high school. But when he went off to college, I think he wanted to just put all of that behind him. </p>
<p>Unlike the personality type momofthree described, ds is introverted and analytical. INTJ. [Portrait</a> of an INTJ](<a href=“http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ.html]Portrait”>Portrait of an INTJ) As it says, he appears to others as “aloof and reserved.” He is a man of very few words. He skillfully hides any emotion and always appears unruffled, calm, cool and collected. He strongly dislikes appearing that he needs anything from anyone. He is very stubborn, extremely independent and “convinced that he is right about things.” That’s part of being 19 years old. It’s also part of his innate personality.</p>
<p>I am convinced he will find his way through this and find his version of success. He will likely emerge with some scrapes and scars. I’m just trying to figure out when to speak and when to just let him flounder–and how to keep my sanity in the process!</p>