<p>Mitdu, It sounds as if your son has made some positive changes and is taking some responsibility. You have clearly tried to negotiate with him on an adult-to-adult level. If my son was bearing the financial burden of his “falls”, understood that his drinking and smoking was making it more difficult for him to succeed, recognized that there are disability resources that might help if he was willing to use them, knew that I would be supportive of psychological/counseling services to assist him, and was aware that I was available to problem-solve with him if requested, I would do my best to back off and let him learn from his mistakes and/or celebrate his victories.</p>