S25 is a Senior failing Pre-Calculus with 4 weeks left in the school year. Even with this F, he has enough credits to graduate HS and to satisfy the minimum math requirements from the 80%+ acceptance LAC he is attending (already admitted/deposit sent; he is also a recruited athlete and this is a D3). Business is his chosen major.
We are speaking with his school’s academic counselor and college counselor this week about next steps. S25 is also meeting with his math teacher to discuss what’s possible.
I am posting because I would love any insights. Would the HS allow him to drop this class so late in the year (private HS)? Would this be a good option? Would an F on the transcript cause the college to rescind his admission given this particular situation?
Thank you.
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The academic counselor is probably the best person to answer your question about whether dropping the class is possible. At the college level a “W” is better than an “F.”
Is there a reason for the failure that might mean some support or accommodations are needed?
The guidance counselor can help with the college end of things and can help explain the failure or withdrawal as needed.
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Does your son have any insights on “why”? To me, that would help find the right approach in explaining his situation to his college.
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Only the college can answer you in either situation.
Minimum does not mean they’d be ok with it, or it might impact his chosen major.
First you have to see if you can even withdraw this late.
And most importantly to find the root cause. Math is foundational and there will be more, most especially in business - so it builds.
Best of luck.
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The reason for the failing grade is a combination of things. He has been having a hard time with the subject, despite working with tutors. In addition, this teacher is known around the school for being subpar at teaching this subject (wish I knew this sooner). With that, he shut down in class and has not done most of the homework. I also never saw him studying on his own.
It didn’t help that his teacher takes a very long time to post grades, so we didn’t know how things were going with a reasonable amount of time to course-correct more firmly. The icing on the cake was a week-long national meet that required travel so he missed a week of school and several tests- which, for a kid with executive functioning challenges just adds up.
We have never had him tested for differences. For his sport he is very disciplined, accountable, self-starter, wakes up to a 4:45AM alarm no problem, never misses a practice and never forgets anything. During High School season, he needed to maintain good grades to remain eligible, and boy was he on top of his school work. But once the season was over, the wheels started coming off.
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Is he “owning” the problem right now?
College transitions are tricky. Can you make sure that he is handling all communications (teacher, tutor, guidance counselor, maybe head of the math department) on his own?
There will be minimal scaffolding for things like this in college. College classes move much faster than HS so falling behind- even a skootch- is much more problematic. Some professors are great instructors, some are not. Some TA’s are fantastic at breaking down the subject matter during review sessions and others are not.
And the key of course- no Mom and Dad to make sure he’s showing up for that 8 am review session or going to office hours!!!
Hugs. I am sure this is stressful.
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He is owning it. He doesn’t like emails and would prefer to talk to the teachers during class instead, but I encouraged him to email first, so he did. He is the one meeting and talking to his counselor as well.
I am not kidding myself thinking that he will become self-sufficient overnight. If I’m honest, I am reluctant to send him to college. Nevertheless, the one major downside of taking a gap year or going the community college route is that he will need to walk away from his sport.
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Fantastic that he’s taking control of this. Fingers crossed…
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It all depends on LAC. If LAC needs him (sport or his tuition) they may still take him… Many schools do not like Ds or Fs since they are red flags. Also in colleges I believe usually there is some GPA requirement to stay on the team.
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Once he has a sense of options, he should reach out to the college coach because he is a recruited athlete. The coach will be able to offer advice on how to handle things, and what option to choose…I would not make any decisions until he talks with the coach. Your S should not reach out to the college admissions peeps unless directed to do so by the coach. Good luck.
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How do you know he has “executive function” issues? Regardless of the grade outcome here, or even the college admissions outcome, there seems to be a problem that needs to be sorted out for the future.
One of my kids shut down (Ihead in the sand syndrome, I call it) and didn’t got to a Spanish class for weeks. You got an F after missing 5 classes and they were well past that. Because they had some diagnoses, professional letters, and were registered for accommodations, we managed (mostly her but I gave a nudge) to get a withdrawal past the deadline, which means a W- unless the kid takes a medical leave, which can wipe the slate clean. This is what you may have ahead of you.
You might want to read recent articles on how ADHD is being researched and written about. I have only read superficially but it is understood that a kid might be inattentive in one area and not another, and that certain things can motivate focus even in the presence of ADHD. There is no objective test for ADHD. You just do a questionnaire with a psychiatrist who is expert in it (or even a PCP).
A neuropsych, evaluation can help with other diagnoses, including executive function issues.
I really think that this situation might call for some of these preparations for college so that he has accommodations and support. But I could be wrong. You know better than any of us here on an online forum!
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Is this the case even for a D3?
When he was in 6th grade the school assigned an Executive Function coach to work with my son but there were no formal evaluations. He has a history of falling behind, almost failing, and then picking himself back up after a family crisis due to poor grades. You make a great point about getting evaluated and how that can help. Thank you, I will look into that.
Interesting also that you mention the head in the sand… he did that with a science class this year- not to the point if missing 5, but enough to prompt a call home.
Not every kid who fails a class, falls behind but then can pull it together, has trouble staying on task has a disorder. Sometimes it’s just “adolescence”. I understand that putting a label on it feels better for the parent, but from what you’ve written (he organizes his time beautifully when it comes to his sport) he actually has fine executive functioning skills. He just uses them on the things he cares about (his team, his coach, his teammates) and not on the things he’s not interested in (some of his classes. Are there other things?)
He will not be the first kid or the last to fail a class senior year. I had a highly disorganized and somewhat immature kid go off to college and I don’t think I had a full night’s sleep from the time we dropped him off until parents weekend. I was expecting calls from campus security that he was sleeping in a hallway because he lost his key (again), wasn’t eating because he lost his meal card, was flunking out because he forgot to buy his books and by the time he remembered, half the semester was gone. Oh- and smelled terrible because he couldn’t be bothered to shower or launder his clothes/towel/sheets.
None of this happened. It made me realize how much nagging/scaffolding I had been doing. And if I had stopped doing it earlier, perhaps he’d have kicked into high gear earlier?
We’ll never know. But kid learned quickly that when you lose your key at home, someone else in the family bails you out along with a lecture about being responsible. But when you lose your key at college, the housing office shrugs (they don’t care, they just disable your lost card and issue you a new one) and then you PAY FOR THE NEW KEY AND HAVE NO FUN MONEY FOR THE WEEK. Those lectures I had been delivering for years? Ignored. No money for a pizza or movie because you had to pay for a lost key? Wow. That gets behavior changes pretty quickly. Who knew?
OP- if he’s taking control of the situation, that’s a great sign that he has the skills to self-advocate and manage his life. And maybe no diagnosis is required other than “He’s a HS kid who works hard on the things he cares about and ignores everything else”.
Good luck and hugs.
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Thanks @blossom this perspective is super helpful. The other area where he excels and is independent, responsible, and reliable is work. He works as a swim instructor over the summer, and he is constantly praised for his work and is never late. His Supervisor calls him back every summer and S25 feels very accomplished at his job. He is also willing and happy to help with anything at home, any time.
Some are book smart - but can’t relate to the workplace.
Some are the opposite - they’re smart - but academics aren’t their motivation per se.
That might be your son.
They seem to win in the workplace - those folks.
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My kid has ADHD but was able to focus on long choreography for dance. I would add that working at a job helped them keep organized for school.
When I suggest looking into things like this, I always qualify it as perhaps not being the case, but I do think it is worth looking into before college.
My friend and her husband struggled for years with their kid and never made any attempt to get her evaluated. The college did it though and she went on meds and finished well.
The recent articles on ADHD are skeptical of the prevailing view on ADHD. It is not unusual at all to be able to focus on one area and not another.
As for “head in the sand syndrome,” that is my own term and somewhat of a joke using a clinical term “syndrome” for something a lot of kids do. Ignore a problem hoping it will go away and thereby making it worse. I do it too! But in college, without accommodations, it can lead to some real problems.
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Thanks @compmom I have been educating myself more on ADHD and the evolving view. Peter Attia had an interesting podcast episode with Trenna Sutcliffe that I need to finish listening to. And I figured the “head in the sand” was what you meant: if you don’t see it, it doesn’t exist!
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Update: math teacher said he can still save his grade from being an F through a test correction, turning in late homework, and doing well on each of the last quiz, test, and semester exam. So now is full steam ahead on doing everything he can to save the grade.
S25 will be meeting with his HS college counselor to discuss how to go about notifying the College and when… Man this is stressful.
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