<p>^ Ah I see. I think it is going to be one of those hard to answer questions as it depends on so much. A bit like the threads about when do you push, when do back off. Another classic parenting tension where most parents want the same goal, but go about it differently (and of course it depends on so many factors, including parents abilities and goals, and also the type of kid they have, the history they have had with said child, and also family culture/upbringing).</p>
<p>In my neck of the woods, where we are surrounded by families from more collectivist cultures, it’s absolutely the norm for multiple generations to live together and I have no clue who contributes what to the family household. </p>
<p>I know one family that swore they’d give the boot to their child after highschool graduation if they weren’t going to college (and this was back when said child was in 10th grade). This offspring is now 3 years out of highscool, working in minimum wage job and living at home. One parent absolutely hates it and rants all the time about how said child must leave, the other has a different view point and so said child continues on this path. All I know is it is a REALLY TOUGH situation for a parent to be in; intellectually you might think you know the ‘right answer’, and emotionally it is really tough to put your thoughts into actions when you are in that situation. Tough love is a great theory on paper, quite another in real life when you are worried sick about your child. </p>
<p>No one said parenting was easy but some of us have it much much easier than others! I’m not sure what I would do. I might have a theory of what i would do but now I realize I might not be good at executing it. Sort of like before I had kids, I had all these theories of how I would be NOT like THAT parent, and I had it all figured out. Then I had children, each quite distinct, and well, most of my ‘pre-parenting theories’ went out the window because real life is different and much more complex than an abstract principle or theory.</p>