<p>“Members of my family gone so far as to bribe me with a house and a car of my own in the Philippines; luxuries I am sure I will not see in my possession for quite some time if I stay here.”</p>
<p>The same thing happened to me when my mum said that they’ll afford me all these things and put some money aside to get a master degree abroad. I could either graduate free of debt and go to some nice school in Europe to get masters (probably no debt as well) or go to the States, graduate 20k dollars in debt and go to some masters school and be indebted as well. It’s a difficult decision, especially when you are an only child and pressure from your parents (or should I say my mum) is big. I’m really torn :S</p>
<p>Good luck ravenclaw, hope everything works out eventually.</p>
<p>ravenclaw: I have no idea what your parents are trying to accomplish by twisting your arm and sending you to the Phillipines. Before you figure out a course of action, you might want to figure that out first.</p>
<p>I live in the Philippines right now but will be going to the US to study this fall. I think that American Universities beat Philippine ones by a long shot. The only reason you would want to go to a Philippine university would be for an experience - maybe you miss the Philippines or would want to know what it’s like now. But honestly, when it comes to universities, you should be aiming for the best education. In my opinion, that certainly cannot be found in the Philippines.</p>
<p>I myself am a senior here in the U.S. I came here in 7th grade so about 6 years ago from the Philippines.</p>
<p>My family has also given me the idea and option to go back to attend college there. But think about this way, you’ve spent so much already here in the U.S. for an education. Like say millions in pesos (thousands in dollars) if you went in a private school. Is it really worth it to go back to the Philippines where you would get in the same colleges for a much lower price if you went there for high school? If this makes sense, worded in my way…</p>
<p>I would not go back personally. Right now, I’m choosing between Cornell and RPI for engineering. They’re both great schools and highly regarded WORLDWIDE. RPI is known even as far away from NY state as Australia and the South East Asia. Cornell… well you already know that.</p>
<p>I would get into UP, any UP easy. My dad and grandfather taught at UPLB. I even grew up in Faculty (living area set aside for UP teachers only) that I’d get a scholarship and internships there easy since a lot of the teachers are family friends.</p>
<p>I would also get in easy to any top school there such as UST (again, family has taught there before), DLSU, (I’m much smarter than my cousin and she got in there…) etc. Are you willing to go to a school that wasn’t hard to get in?</p>
<p>Also, think of the age difference. You would be in the same year as students who are two years younger than you since there is no 7th and 8th grade in the Philippines. Would you be able to handle that? You would be graduating two years behind people your own age.</p>
<p>And when you get a job, people ask. Where did you go for HS? Oh the U.S.? Where did you go for college then? Oh in the Philippines? Why? You were already there?</p>
<p>And there is, as others have mentioned, the issue of the green card. I myself am almost 18 (in a few months) and we are racing against time to get my parents naturalized before I turn 18 so that when they become citizens, I automatically become one as well since I’m under 18. Is it worth it to give all that up?</p>
<p>I think that you are thinking along the right lines. First of all you are a HS Sophomore, and from your parents point of view you ARE a little girl. However, a year from now, you and everyone you know will start the college search process. Make sure your parents attend the parents meetings at school where ADULTS from your guidance department will explain the financial aid process to them and ADULTS will convince them that you do have unprecedented opportunities in the US. This may show them the light. </p>
<p>You’re going to at least need them to fill out the financial aid forms for you to even be considered. If you can do that, and can get great test scores, you could be a very good candidate to get a full ride merit scholarship from the University of Pittsburgh. This full ride, which includes room and board, effectively makes you financially independent. I think that this is a great ticket for someone who really needs to break away from domineering parents. Unfortunately, I rarely read about people who post on CC who use it for that purpose. </p>
<p>If your EFC turns out to be pretty low, the top schools will give you great financial aid, but there will still be a self-help portion. </p>
<p>Either way, you have some time to sort things out.</p>
<p>I don’t know what your parents’ objectives are or the conditions in the Philippines so I cant give you an informed answer. In our case we didn’t put any firm conditions. W&I, and for that matter many other families from my birth-country, have taken our kids to check out the universities there usually to give them another option.
We know many who are there, or who have completed and are back, and the experience covers the whole spectrum - from “absolutely the best decision” to the exact opposite. D1 applied but decided not to pursue it, and D2 probably won’t apply.</p>
<p>For the areas we were interested in - medicine and vet, other than money, and the cultural experience, a big factor is time and curriculum. A regular med track that D1 is aiming for or D2’s pre-vet needs four years of school studying among other things, history, philosophy, languages, calculus, and physics. Overseas, on day one, you’re dissecting bodies and there’s an order of magnitude more real cases you deal with. And based on where the expats seem to get placed in residencies here, it looked like a viable option.</p>
<p>We never even considered schooling there for DS as his interests were comp sci and engg. There is no difference in time and the amount of exposure to industry here, such as in internships, made it a no-brainer.</p>
<p>Relevant personal background: I’ve known many, many immigrants over the years. I’ve seen how things work in various immigrant families. I also have family ties to PA.</p>
<p>There’s a decent chance that your parents don’t really want you to stay in the USA. Many immigrants come to the USA to work without desiring to fully integrate into the American culture. When the immigrants have children, the children basically have to come along for the ride. But then, if the children spend most of their childhood here, they’re usually going to be more influenced by the American culture than their parents’ culture. Some immigrant parents may not really have wanted this. They might really want their children to be part of their own culture and possibly to return to their own country.</p>
<p>Sending you to university in the Philippines accomplishes this to a greater extent than is immediately obvious. If you want to work in the USA, or Europe for that matter, going to university in the Philippines is a trap. When your university isn’t respected in the places you’d like to work, it’s very difficult to work in those places.</p>
<p>The limitations on your green card are another trap. I wouldn’t be surprised if your theory in post #27 that your parents actually want you to lose your green card is correct. That would ensure that you wind up back in the Philippines even after university graduation. It would be very hard to get back into the USA legally, even with a temporary immigration status.</p>
<p>As a side note, if you lose your green card, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to even visit the USA. Only citizens and green card holders have the automatic right to enter the USA. Also, if you apply for a temporary visa to study or work, the visa officer might assume that you really intend to return to the USA permanently because it’s the only country you’ve known. But for a temporary visa to be granted, the visa officer has to be convinced that you will return to your country - e.g., the Philippines - when your immigration status expires. So you’re actually at high risk for not being allowed to visit the USA even temporarily. That said, your immigration situation is complicated enough that you should really speak to an immigration attorney about it. Some attorneys offer a free initial consultation.</p>
<p>We also can’t rule out the possibility that if your parents can’t persuade you, that they will force the issue. Thus, you might also want to talk to an immigration attorney about whether your parents can move back to the Philippines and force you to return with them if you’re not 18 yet. If this is potentially a problem, it might be wise not to argue with your parents about universities until you turn 18. You might need to actively play along and go through the motions of planning to go to university in the Philippines. Then, when you turn 18, you just suddenly change your mind.</p>
<p>Also, if you don’t think Penn State is the right environment for you, you’re probably right. The big, party state schools just aren’t for everyone. If they’re not for you, it can work out really badly. I know this firsthand. You’re fortunate in that PA has several good public universities. Even without the merit scholarship noted, Pitt costs about the same amount as Penn State, so there’s no reason not to go to Pitt instead. Temple is another option, and while it’s a notch below Penn State or Pitt academically, it’s also a notch cheaper.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>It’s also possible that your parents think differently than you or most other Americans because of cultural differences. Your thinking is influenced by the American culture which surrounded you for most of your life. Your parents’ thinking is influenced by the Filipino culture which surrounded them during their formative years. It’s easy to underestimate the impact of culture on how people think.</p>
<p>Now, I’m not saying your parents are right. Frankly, I think they’re not. But it’s important to understand how they think so that you can respond effectively.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>QFT.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>QFT. This could be part of the parents’ thinking. They’re acting like it’s really about money. But maybe the real issue is reintegration into the Filipino culture and society. Regardless, spideygirl’s quote is exactly why you need to find a university which will help you become who you want to be.</p>
<p>@ClassicRockerDad: Good catch about the full ride scholarship at Pitt. Pitt is likely far stronger than most universities which offer full rides to top students.</p>
<p>As a final note, if your true goal is to stay in the USA, it might be worth considering staying here even if you can’t afford university right away. If you stay here, you’ll eventually find a way to get through a US university. You might have to start at a community college. You might have to work multiple jobs to save money. It may not be easy. But there will, eventually, be a way. If you go to the Philippines, you might have a hard time coming back, especially if you lose your green card.</p>
<p>You seem to be highly intelligent. Also, reading between the lines of what you said, it seems that you want a high-powered career.</p>
<p>Given that, I’m not sure that going to a lower-tier school that offers you a full ride or close to it is for you. For one thing, you’re just not going to be intellectually stimulated at a lower-tier school if you’re a top student. In addition to being bored, you’re not going to grow much intellectually. Also, lower-tier schools probably aren’t going to open the doors you want to open if you’re shooting for a high-powered career and/or foreign countries (e.g., Europe). They’re not even that useful for getting to other parts of the USA, especially if you decide you want to live in a major city or to move to the “coasts”.</p>
<p>For example, the schools Pennsylvanians call “local colleges” probably aren’t a good choice. For those of you outside of PA or other areas where this term exists, local colleges are private colleges which might have a decent reputation as long as you stay within a 50 mile radius or so. Outside the immediate area, people haven’t heard of them, which obviously doesn’t help you get jobs elsewhere. I’d also classify most or all of the state universities in Pennsylvania other than Penn State, Pitt and Temple as lower-tier.</p>
<p>If a full ride at a lower-tier school is your only real option, a better way would be to start at a community college. Then, it might be realistic to borrow and/or earn the money to attend a state university which is at least middle-tier. Even if you have to borrow $10K or $15K per year to make it work, that’s a total debt of only $20K to $30K if you only need two years at the state university. A lot of people manage this kind of debt load. You could also work while attending less than full-time if you have no other choice.</p>
<p>Also, if you need to put some geographic separation between yourself and your parents, being OOS at the state universities in New York and Minnesota is only slightly more expensive than being in-state at Pitt or Penn State.</p>
<p>Even if it takes longer to get a degree from a better university - for example, because you have to work - it’s still probably better than graduating from a lower-tier university. Anything you do to recover from having had to start at a lower-tier university is also going to cost you time. You might have to start with lower-quality jobs and slowly work your way up to better jobs. This can be a chicken-and-egg problem because the lower-quality job might not give you experience which makes you marketable to better organizations. You might have to go to graduate school, despite not wanting to, just to get a respectable university name on your resume. But it’s going to be difficult or impossible to get into the best graduate schools from a lower-tier school when you’re competing with people who went to top-tier schools as undergraduates.</p>
<p>Last but not least, because your parents are unwilling to even talk about financial aid, it’s likely that they will refuse to fill out the FAFSA forms. To guard against this, you need to have some options which do not rely on the submission of a FAFSA. Universities with low sticker prices, such as community colleges and four-year state universities, fall into this category. But be aware that even merit aid often requires the submission of a FAFSA.</p>
<p>Again, good luck! I’ve also had to deal with limited family support and limited university choices due to financial issues. I know how hard it is.</p>
<p>Just thought I’d give you guys an update, since a lot of your advice was very thorough and helpful. I’m a junior now, and about to take the PSAT/NMSQT in a couple of weeks.
This, of course, means that I’m definitely going to be applying to US colleges and universities next year (I’m probably reaching for grad school too, despite my earlier posts). I’ve thought about it long and hard (my summer was basically dedicated to researching post-secondary institutions, financial aid, and immigration laws) and I really think that it’s best that I don’t leave the US.
My parents are still quite against this, dropping hints about how loaded down with debt I’ll be, how I’ll be essentially disowned at 18, and all the luxuries in the Philippines I’ll be missing out on. But my mom is being slightly helpful by taking me to college info sessions and such (she even got a little excited for me at a Yale one, but I doubt I’ll apply there). My dad is also “thinking about” letting me see his IRS forms soon so I can give them a ballpark estimate of our EFC.
I think I’ll be applying at a handful of schools in the Philippines (UP-Diliman, Ateneo de Manila, and De La Salle) as financial safeties. But those are only last-ditch options.
Oh, and I learned that an old friend of mine just matriculated at Cornell for chemical engineering. She’s Filipino too, and her parents gave her a similar ultimatum - everything in the PI, nothing in the US. She was actually okay with going to the Philippines, but wanted her family to come with her (they didn’t want to, so she stayed here). And they’re pretty rich, so she didn’t qualify for any finaid. So her parents took out a heck of a lot in loans and she’ll be paying off everything. Her situation kind of strengthened my resolve to attend a school here. :)</p>