<p>Like others, I applaud and encourage you to be true to yourself and ignore (hard as it may be) those who want to hold you back. While I grew up in a family that valued education, I have friends and colleagues who were/are in your position. From what they tell me, these naysayers are often envious and a bit intimidated by your drive and courage. It is far easier to just follow what everyone else around you is doing than to do something different.</p>
<p>Oh, and if they come back for financial help in 15 years, say no.</p>
<p>I don’t think we should go overboard predicting all kinds of money after graduation. Realistically, I don’t think that happens for many people right away. Yes, it does happen for some engineers.</p>
<p>I do think more students should avoid debt, and look at community college degree and certificate programs that are geared to careers right now.</p>
<p>We don’t know enough about the original poster to tell what his best course of action is, and he is not asking us to do that anyway. Still, all this talk about getting a degree and being all set financially is making me nervous.</p>
<p>I hope the original poster can volunteer or intern or somehow get some experience, and also hope he looks at all educational options. And cleans up his writing, which may be from a phone.</p>
<p>Think about it this way–if you are not going to invest in yourself, what else could possibly give you as great a return? I can’t think of a single thing! Look around you–do you see the people around you who are putting you down making any investments resulting in great returns? Not just financially, but personally as well?</p>
<p>Let me just start off by saying thank you to everyone for the input. Now regarding my grammar and punctuation, I am using an ipad mini , but also grammar and punctuation have always been my weakest point. I am one of those people who excels in math and is weak in grammar and punctuation, that’s why my GPA is a 3.0, all of my professors (except my math professor) get on my case about it constantly and I loose a lot of points because of it. its been an ongoing issue for me since I was a small child, I don’t really know why but it has. As Mark Twain once said “I don’t think much of a man that can spell a word only one way!” , my apologies if my grammar, punctuation or spelling bothers anyone.</p>
<p>now let me answer a few things that have been asked.
yes I am in community college.
I do plan on getting at least a BS/BA and maybe even a Masters.
I do have 2 certificates, first one is in public works, second one is in structural
maintenance.
I live in SoCal and am planning on transferring to Cal Polly Pomona in fall 2014.</p>
<p>And no my son does not starve ( I know that comment was a joke ) =)
he actually has more than I or my wife ever had as a kid.
When i said “a living wage” i was not trying to refer to a political view. i ment it in the sense of being able to provide for a family independently.
I am fully aware the term “living wage” refers to blue collar, hourly jobs, that left wing politicians widely use in there speech’s. let me make it clear in case i have not, my goal is to be a civil engineer which i no is white collar and salaried (in most cases) .
I know some people are worrisome about telling others about there financial situation but I think for the purpose of this post it would be beneficial to explaining more about myself.
that being said my family of 3’s combined income is roughly 40k per year.
I have 0 debut so far (student and personal) and will avoid it at all costs.
I work at a hardware store in the garden department and my job is to load manure’s and soil’s in to customers cars. that’s why i said in my first post that i don’t like my job but i pretend i do. its really a turn off when you smell like manure all day long. but i do it because it pays the bills for now.
and as for volunteering and internships, I apply when ever I see something relevant to my field of study.
and I am fully aware that after graduation I will have a hard time finding a 50 or 60k a year job to start.</p>
<p>and I have come to terms with the fact that I will always be on the loosing end of the battle when it comes to my family and college. I think that there issues steam from not being able to do what im doing on there own and that I will not have to depend on them which in turn would give them zero leverage over me.
I know the solutions to my family issues for the most part. I mean all i can do at this point is ignore them and be happy my wife and father support me. As many of you have said its a long term investment. As my father told me, by the time im 30 i will have a civil engineering career, if i stay on course. When I was writing this post all i was trying to figure out was if there was something that i was missing, if there was something that i was not seeing. because to most logical people it makes no sense</p>
<p>I know many of us are shaking our heads at this thread. Everyone is right. As long as this student and spouse agree, to heck with everyone else.</p>
<p>These weird scenarios happen from jealousy and fear. These folks are scared/jealous of where you’re heading. They may think that once you’ve gotten your “fancy degree” that you’ll look down on them (if few of them are college educated). </p>
<p>My H’s sister married into a family like this. No one was college educated and have been quite nasty about the whole college business. H’s sister has a BSN, but her H never finished college because of these silly notions. What a mistake. His employment history has suffered because of his lack of a degree. </p>
<p>Cal Poly Pomona has good recruiting on campus…take advantage of it while you’re there.</p>
<p>Best wishes for your future… and when those busy-bodies make comments, just smile and nod…</p>
<p>What mommusic said (post #6)- keep your eye on the prize. Finish your education. You have an obligation to your child, your wife and yourself. You will all be better off once you complete your degree. Don’t pay any attention to the chatter.</p>
<p>If you feel like you have to say something just say that you are looking forward to a good paying job as an engineer and that you need a Bachelor’s degree to get it. Then say you would appreciate their support for your hard work and if they can’t give it tell them they need to pick something else to talk with you about if they want to maintain a friendly relationship with you. </p>
<p>Getting an engineering degree from Cal Poly comes with a reasonable expectation of a good job. It helps for getting a job if you can do an internship. So if you are sure you can make it through the program and graduate, it isn’t the worst thing to have some manageable debt to get through it more quickly.</p>
<p>To the OP: It’s called misery loves company. You have found the strength to try and better yourself to provide a better life for your family. Your family sees that it’s working, and they are jealous. You keep going and do not look back. If you need to, cut them out of your life. Speaking from experience on that one. You just don’t need the negativity. </p>
<p>Sounds like you have a lot to be proud of :).</p>
<p>I’m assuming you do not ask your family for favors? Childcare? You don’t complain to them about your circumstance, right? As others have said ~ just don’t talk about it. I’m guessing you don’t have loads of few time to just sit-around with them - and need to fill the silence.</p>
<p>I also suspect that some of them may worry that if you succeed at both (working while getting a education) and get a good job, that they’ll “look bad” for not having been similarly ambitious.</p>
<p>Your GPA is pretty good for someone who says he has not been able to get a grasp of punctuation and spelling. You don’t need to answer this, but have you been evaluated for any kind of learning issue at all? You are obviously bright and ambitious and hardworking, but I do think the issues with writing may be important to address.</p>
<p>Sometimes, it is tough to be the first in the family to do something different. It can make others feel inadequate. I would not worry about others’ opinions, since they are not paying your bills. Worry about your wife and child. What a great gift and example you are giving to your child!
Now, I know a family full of engineers, civil and mechanical. The best advice they have given my son, who wants to be a civil eng. is to develop his writing skills. Engineers who can both design complex structures, and write operational manuals for those structures (think water treatment facilities, etc) are much sought after and desired. Get extra tutoring in writing if that is your weak point. Also, I will pass this wisdom on: the same family of engineers is telling my son that he should definitely look into spending his summers during college working construction; actually seeing and doing gives you abilities, knowledge, and understanding that studying in the classroom does not, and a deeper understanding of what you are asking builders to do when you design something. Maybe you should look into even weekend work doing construction and learning the ropes. It could be much better paying than your current job, and much more in line with your career plans.
It may take you longer to finish school, but just keep doing exactly what you are doing. It will pay off in the long run. Education is NEVER a bad thing, I don’t care what any one says!</p>
<p>I have never been tested for any learning issues. I’ve always passed all my classes, English included, and actually im done with English on the community college level ( I scored in to the highest English class when I took my placement testing ) . I would say im just a lazy writer. id like to think i at least can show people my thought process and hold a decent conversation. my calculus professor told me that he too has the same issue, and that its common in people who excel in math. so im not too worried considering he retired from the army corps of engineers and is now teaching calculus ( he teaches part time to keep busy and at a community college because he lives less than a mile from campus in case anyone is wondering ) id say he did pretty good in his life, and it gives me hope.</p>
<p>anyway that’s off topic. i really dident mean for this post to venture in to my grammar punctuation and writing skills…</p>
<p>going back to the family thing…</p>
<p>quote:
" I’m assuming you do not ask your family for favors? Childcare? You don’t complain to them about your circumstance, right? As others have said ~ just don’t talk about it. I’m guessing you don’t have loads of few time to just sit-around with them - and need to fill the silence ."</p>
<p>They do take care of my son while im at school or work. but that’s only because when i had him in a daycare they gave me hell because they thought that the teachers were treating my son wrong so they convinced me to let my grandparents watch him, the main reason for me agreeing was because its saving me 800 dollars a month. so i see them just about every day. I thought that may be the issue but seeing as how they pretty much insisted on taking care of my son i don’t think it is, but then again i don’t know. Maybe they realized that they bit off more than they care to chew with him (terrible 2’s). i have offered many times to put him back in school, and that conversation is always followed up with a swift response of " are you crazy ". that being said i don’t think that’s the issue.</p>
<p>i think im going nod my head and smile, as someone else suggest in an earlier post. i don’t see another option.</p>
<p>I think it was Woody Hayes, a football coach at Ohio State, who once said something to the effect of “Whenever you try to build something postive, someone will try to tear it down.”</p>
<p>You are trying to do something positive.</p>
<p>Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Don’t get sucked into the naysayer’s negativity.</p>
<p>I think your attitude toward writing is misguided, and that it is relevant to the topic, actually. If my child had this attitude and did not want to improve on a skill that is lacking, I would not encourage college either.</p>
<p>That said, doing well in classes does not mean you don’t have a learning disability. I don’t know what you mean by being a “lazy writer,” but if you truly mean you are too lazy to punctuate or use capitals, then all the encouragement in the world is not going to help you succeed.</p>
<p>Couldn’t have agreed more! Since my advice would be the same as everyone else (which is ignore your family), I can’t do anything but wish best of luck to you. There will always be people trying to pull you down, as others have said, due to fear, envy, and/or ignorance. You can’t do anything but be the best you – and I can see that you are doing that by being a great father and husband and thinking about the long-run rather than the present.</p>
<p>I know someone with a family dynamic where the baby sister can not be better than her older brother but he struggles through life. Verbally, he tries to put her down not because he doesn’t love her but because he doesn’t want her to supersede him in life. </p>
<p>–He told her she would never finish college. When she got close to finishing at 18yo, he hurried up and finished college with a graduation date a week before hers. He was 25 and strung together a bunch of credits he’d been taking over those years to hurry up and get a degree.</p>
<p>–When she announced she was engaged and the wedding date, he met a girl and married her 6 months later, a few months before his baby sister.</p>
<p>–His first child was born a month before her first child.</p>
<p>It’s always been a race on his part to stay one step ahead, buying a home, how much money he makes, knowing it all, etc. he has had to work harder than he ever would’ve on his own to keep up the horse race which is why he would prefer her to fail more often than she’s succeeded.</p>
<p>It’s not rational. Never was and never will be. Don’t expect rationality from family. Each member has a status they value in the family. A rank and reputation and respect. Your potential success in the future threatens to upset that in the minds of some of your family members.</p>
<p>The Bible says Jesus had to stop performing miracles in his home town area because people kept saying, isn’t he just a carpenter’s boy? So he moved on. Don’t feel like you should get any better than that. Feel blessed when you do,though.</p>
<p>You’re both smart and young. The time for you to continue your education is now. DO IT!!</p>
<p>Sometimes people learn the hard way that if they are too discouraging, or have something negative to say to someone else (your family to you), then you will stop telling them everything! Do what you need to do. You don’t need their approval.</p>
<p>Good luck to you. Sounds like you are making the right choice to continue your education and have support from your wife!</p>
<p>what I meant by saying “im a lazy writer” is that im not going to proof read every single thing I do. if it bothers anyone that much maby they should look elsewhere on the forum. and for god sake this is a forum, not an English comprehension examination. and from looking over many other threads, id say im not to shabby. your making it seem as if im speaking and writing in the following format " dem der famey menburs of myne donte lyke me be in da skoo". Is it really that big of an issue that I have a few comma splice’s, a few run on’s, the occasional sentence fragment, lack a little Punctuating Dialogue, Apostrophes, and capitalization of a few words ? since when does that mean you have a learning disability when your writing on a forum ? im not turning in a thesis essay, im chating over the web … I know what im doing wrong in my writing I just don’t care to proof read, if that makes you think i don’t deserver positive encouragement from my family, (or anyone else who has the same feeling towards writing or any other subject for that matter), shame on you… its insulting to me that you would ask such a question and make such a rude comment compmom. I would never discourage education to anyone because they feel something is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. shame on you.</p>