<p>I doubt that they had help. It starts with a small family and then the older kids start to be able to help out - by the fourth or fifth kid you have a crew. I don’t think the Duggars have paid domestic help either. The wife did it until the kids were old enough to help. Wives do this without help all the time (did it back in the day and there are some that are still doing it).</p>
<p>Hahaha, thank you moerderin, that’s AWESOME that you popped in!</p>
<p>Im surprised to hear CC is an approved website.
;)</p>
<p>My parents implemented this thing where the older kids would be paired up with a younger one, and it’d be called their “special child”. Basically, it meant we got to keep all the “fun” stuff from the baby shower that we wanted, but in turn we were primarily responsible for helping my mom out with that child (changing diapers, running errands around the house for that child, etc.)</p>
<p>As for all the talk about my dad being a control freak, sure, it was a VERY VERY strict household. I’m sure that much is gleaned from the article. But strict doesn’t mean there was an absence of love, or fun. Every summer we would go backpacking. I hiked up Half Dome for the first time when I was 5 or 6 (3-day backpacking trip up the back side).</p>
<p>I think there’s some good ideas in there. The kid wants a car, you buy a junker, the parts, and have them fix it up and get it running (presumably with their guidance if needed) and now you’ve learned a ton about how cars work, and you have a running car that you can be proud that you rebuilt and saved some money. If I knew how cars worked myself I’d do that with my kids, I think that’s a great idea. </p>
<p>I don’t think everything in there is great though.</p>
<p>Thanks for chiming in, moerderin. I’m just curious about how the logistics could possible have worked out. If you had sports after school, family dinner at 5:30, and study time from 6-8 on top of extensive responsibilities for siblings and chores, when did you have any time to pursue your own interests? Hang out with friends outside the family?</p>
<p>And were there really no exceptions to the 6-8 study time? What about sporting events, or evening functions at school?</p>
<p>If everything was so inflexible, did you and/or your siblings ever resent it? Do those of you with kids behave similarly with your own children?</p>
<p>I don’t see anything in there that’s totally objectionable though. Not something I would DO but nothing that’s totally oddball either.</p>
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<p>Seems that people posting here about their astonishment at large families may not know too many immigrant families from poor countries. Some of their families may have had on the order of 10 children. The reasons:</p>
<p>a. Not all children survived to adulthood.
b. Particularly in previous generations, educational needs and expectations were less, so children became able to work and contribute to the household at an earlier age then today in the US.</p>
<p>Yes, what ucbalumnus said. You had more children since there was a likelihood that some children would not survive into adulthood, and also the older children worked to support the household when they were able. I even know some families with 10 or more children (my generation - I’m a parent. My own mother gave birth 7 times. Yeah the older kids helped with the younger somewhat.</p>
<p>@apprenticeprof Dinner and study time, like everything aren’t 100%, there are times when somebody couldn’t make it to dinner (although very rare), or study time, but sure, it happened.</p>
<p>Like I said earlier, most sports were right after school, and we all enjoyed the sport we were doing (since we got to pick it).</p>
<p>As for raising our own children, I don’t think any of my siblings are nearly as strict as my parents were.</p>
<p>Thanks for telling us the REAL story, moerderin. </p>
<p>(The “kids” in the article are all adults–didn’t the ages range from 22-37?–No approval necessary.)</p>
<p>btw @hunt, my mom was actually pregnant 15 times (with 3 miscarriages), so things do happen, there were a couple pregnancies that got dangerously close, but guess we all just lucked out in the end to have everyone around, and healthy.</p>
<p>Sorry your emphasis on “VERY VERY strict household.” caught my attention. That doesn’t sound like you mean strict but beyond to CPS notification. Strict means one thing, but “VERY VERY” reads differently.</p>
<p>Also, what “fun” stuff is given at a baby shower as diapers, bibs, and things are the standard and showers are usually only for first born babies? Was this an excuse for neighbors to give this family some charity presents?</p>
<p>Since your parents had the children, shouldn’t every child have been special and let the kids be kids not mini-parents? I’d wager the girls were probably forced into domestic/sexist roles. I’d also find it hard to believe there was no blatant rebellion as homes like that tend to foster, toeing the line, or complete rejection. Is that the case?</p>
<p>The article never explained how children actually afforded college. It sounds as if the parents didn’t pay but let the kids have college debt. While I can believe that some might receive athletic scholarships and some might receive academic, for 12 kids to receive huge amounts sounds suspect. Is there any way that you can actually ask for real numbers? Rent these days is outrageous and in certain parts of the country a student could work all summer and only have enough for one month of rent and perhaps some books.</p>
<p>
Ah, Duggar-style delegation of parental responsibilities. Many of us think that our decision to have more children means we should parent them, not foist them onto older kids who had no say in the matter.</p>
<p>How did a three year old clean toilets?</p>
<p>Well tipsy1, just because you don’t want to be VERY VERY strict doesn’t mean it can’t work for other people and what would that have to do with CPS? (They made the kids play a sport, be home for dinner at 5:30 and study from 6 to 8?) Also nothing domestic about putting a car together (I think the article said every kid boy or girl got a car and they had to put it together?)</p>
<p>The three year old squirts the toilet cleaner and scrubs the toilet with a brush like the rest of us (supervised I’m sure). I had bathroom duty as a child (later than 3, but involved wiping down the toilet and then scrubbing the floor on hands and knees).</p>
<p>No, I wasn’t implying that CPS needed to be notified.</p>
<p>I can’t speak for everyone, but when I was assigned the special child of my little sister, I was stoked, I got a bowl that I used every morning for breakfast, and loved it. Keep in mind, we were very young, and by no means were we mini parents… Anyone with multiple children would know that the older kids help out with the younger ones.</p>
<p>Women weren’t forced into domestic/sexist roles. I have a sister with a PHD in mathematical modeling, and most others are engineers of one type or another.</p>
<p>As for college, I went to school full time, and worked full time. Sure, it was very hard, but I got through it. No debt. Others may have some debt here and there, but not much.</p>
<p>Just think the commentary on this article has moved from ‘how did they REALLY pay for college’ to bashing the parents for having a lot of children. Pretty sure they paid for college like other children who don’t have parental support to pay for college (they got a job?)</p>
<p>Welcome, moerderin. </p>
<p>Do you think that you and your siblings are similar to your father in terms of being able to be organized? I ask because I too was in a big family, though not as big as yours (six kids) but with ADHD and Aspergers running rampant through our genepool we just couldn’t have maintained the lifestyle your parents maintained.</p>