Where do I even begin? Sorry for the long post…
I ■■■■■■ up in high school and didnt get into any school I wanted. None of em. I was really depressed and anxious that I applied to school in WA state as well after seeing every school reject me in CA. People around me were moving up in life and I didnt want to get behind in life. Anxiety got the best of me and I got accepted to Eastern Washington Uni!
I went there for a whole semester before financial/personal issues kicked in and I was forced to go back home. I was behind everybody again.
The instant I got home I applied for Pierce college, a community college 2 hours away using the metro. At first I was actually happy. Mabe things turned out for the better this way. There was no shame in being behind since everybody accepted that whatever happened, happened. I did good for the most part in school except 1 class which I failed due to the teacher moving the final test day without telling me (i was absent for a single day). I couldnt get a retake no matter what.
Without missing a beat, I applied for summer school. I REALLY wanted to do big things in life and nothing was going to let me down. Except this semester was the worst in my life. I failed every class. Every 5am alarm sounded like torture. I usually love mornings but this was the semester I wasnt feeling like myself. It felt like anxiety and depression took over. The stress I felt every morning made me have sucidal thoughts in class. It was too much for me too handle so I left class. I was already too deep in that I couldnt just drop the class. After failing my first 2 tests, I just stopped showing up to class. I didnt care anymore. I lost control of everything.
I forced myself to take 1 more semester. I worked so hard to get myself to skip chem 60 and jump to chem 101 that I had to take this class. This time all my classes were past 5pm til 11pm. I honestly have no memory of these classes. I only remember the beautiful sunsets and night sky. It was calm and I enjoyed the peace. Sadly that doesnt mean I passed the course. At best I got a C but that was years ago. Im pretty sure I failed the class.
After all this, I gave up. I needed a break. I lied to my friends and family and told them Im still in school and took a gap year. Then another one. And another one. My mental health got alot better but now Im left alone. No school to get back to and no clue on how to get back on track. I dont think my credits from WA has transfered since its been expired by now. I failed general ed in community college. My options are too optimistic. My dreams before this were to become a doctor or nurse. Or even a psycologists after being inspired during my gap years.
I did consider just picking up a trade and giving up on my future. Im happy just living by anyways BUT…
Im not the type of person to give up that easily. I am somehow going to do this no matter what.
Given my circumstances, I am curious what do you guys think I should do to accelerate to where I left off at and skip general ed?
Worst case senario. I reapply to Pierce and redo my courses but there has to be a way where I dont repeat everything I have done. At the most I just want to start my major classes. I have a long road ahead of me and I appreciate all of you who read this even longer post. Thanks a bunch!!! n_n
Thanks a bunch for your input! I took a bit of time to reflect on what you have said. It took a while to wrap my head around accepting your answer, mainly cause it is the truth.
These past few years I have been able to work on myself and grow as a person so much so that I do not fear the same issues arrising that caused me to fail my classes.
I understand that I should take things slow and 1 class at a time but I still have the urgency and passion to do more. Realisticly I will take mabe half the ammount of credits I normally would do but only for the first semester.
I think the hardest part of me landing in this situation is dealing with the fact that I would have to start all over. The only time I did well and best in my class was when I was out of state in university where I aced my exams and now I somehow messed up all my CC courses after 1 simple mistake. I dont think I earned any noteable credit in CC in those 1-2 years. As much as I want to get those years or credits back, I have to start from square 1.
My father worked as a marble tiler along with other trades. It is the one thing he wished his kids would never do and I am going to learn a trade only if my higher education plan fails me. (not that there is anything wrong with learning a trade. Its super interesting and useful but I want one last shot at university first)
Thanks again for letting me clear my head a bit. I appreciate it!
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Wondering if Cornell College would be a possible option. It’s a rigorous 4 year college so you may need to take community college classes to improve your record - take English, history, statistics, art or music appreciation, economics over 2 semesters or 3 quarters, since those courses can transfer as general education about anywhere.
If you want something really challenging try Philosophy, a foreign language through 2 or 3 levels, calculus (can be “short calculus” or “calc for business” if precalculus was a long time ago, and they may actually require to retake precalculus or college algebra beforehand, so depending on your math skills you may want to brush up on it or wait till you’re at the 4 year college.) But before that, take 2-3 of the 5 courses above and try to get As. Only schedule ONE of the “challenging” classes during your 2nd semester if you got B+ to A.
One big reason students fail is that they don’t dare ask for help. On the other hand, you can prevent any issue on that front and take advantage of the writing center, the tutoring center BEFORE you encounter any problem, straight up register with rhem the first week and go meet your tutor to go over your first assignments. Go to Office Hours every week: during the lecture or while doing the reading, write down questions in your notebook’s margins whenever something sounds unclear, then during office hours ask the questions.
Choose the CLOSEST CC to your home. If a 20mn commute is possible it’s optimal.
Create a balanced schedule: 2 classes per day, spaced out, not back to back, and full day on campus 9 to 5 as if this were a job (this way you can go to tutoring, office hours, spend time in the library).
Cornell College, in Iowa, offers 1 course at a time. You live on or near campus, you focus on that one class for 7 weeks, then you have a final and 4 days off to recuperate.
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The community colleges offer a lot of help for students with disabilities. (depression, anxiety, dyslexia, ADD, etc) You can get extra time on tests, have a note taker, take tests in a quiet room, etc. There is no shame in asking for help. Most profs want you to succeed. Going to office hours is huge. They will reward your effort. Peace to you…
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Thanks for the recommendation! I’ll look into it! 
First off, you can definitely do it!! Do not fear, there is a college for everyone out there. Community college can be a great option.
I’m not an expert on CA colleges but there are folks on here and threads on here that cover some of that territory.
Ask yourself if you want to move and live on a campus or off campus at a college and if you have the funds to do that. If you want to stay in your current residence that narrows down the field a lot but if you are willing to move the whole country is open to you.
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How are you supporting yourself now?
How will you support yourself in college?
Do you have savings?
If you are planning to work your way through college, how many hours will you realistically have to work in order to support yourself? How many hours does that leave for college (leaving realistic time for sleep, meals and some r and r)? Remember to multiply classroom time by a factor of 3 for homework/revision/reading.
How many and what kind of (potentially transferable) credits do you really have? If you don’t know or don’t have documentation, write to the institutions you attended.
Right now, you have too many unknowns.
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