And then you tipped the title agent? Oops, wrong thread!
But that is a crazy situation, and a good example of what can happen if the attorneys aren’t doing that annoying thing they do when they have to track down and research and follow up on every single detail!
My mother’s will names myself and my sister as co-executors, and simply says that everything is split equally between us. We can do whatever we want with it. At one point she was talking about leaving the house to my S: I told her that was a bad idea for many reasons.
I thought that this arrangement would be the best given family dynamics. If I were the executor, my sister would probably be mortally insulted, even though she doesn’t help with any of my mother’s affairs. If she were the sole executor, I think she would pressure me heavily to give things to her daughters. I know what things my mother would like to direct to which person, and can be trusted to see that they get them if they want them.
The big thing will be whether to sell the house. It was built for my grandmother and uncle, with my parents’ help, and after both died we lived in it, then my parents lived in it after selling their own house. Lots of sentimental value: my sister and I have been in it since we were little kids.
Also a difference between primary residence and vacation property or other real estate which will be treated differently by state law.
If your mom is still able @Consolation, it may be worth her documenting her wishes so it can be clear and minimize haggling after her death and/potential incompetence.
@HImom , my mother is fully able, but I’m not going to ask her to do that. I’m fine with giving particular china patterns to particular nieces, and a particular piece of furniture to my sister if she still wants it.
@Consolation, sorry, no offense intended. I’m glad you envision everything being distributed as your mom wishes and that’s awesome.
I second Himom’s suggestiOn. I’ve had several,patients who questioned the daughter who. “Knew” moms wishes. Far far better to have it on tape or in a letter.
Can be a worthwhile exercise to go over wishes for particular items. My organized mother went through her jewelry with me as I filled in a notebook with her info and thoughts about who might appreciate each piece. Her priority was that folks have what they would enjoy, yet it was good to know her ideas and it meant something to her to be able to share her hopes. Passing pieces on to her now “old enough” grand-daughters at significant moments has been fun and meaningful.
My MIL insists that she will put a piece of masking tape with someone’s name on it for certain larger pieces in her house. I don’t want her getting up on a ladder to do that and have suggested she just take photographs of the items, sort them out online or in a physical photo album, and designate who gets what that way. So far she hasn’t done either and I predict chaos someday. Maybe I’ll help her with the masking tape job.
It would be depressing for me to go through my stuff with my kids - neither of them is likely to want any of it. My sisters and I will want a few things from our mother’s apartment, but (famous last words) I don’t expect any fights about anything. We’ll come up with a process and it will all be very fair and involve wine. Funny, she did ask me to make sure that her frenemy with the consignment store doesn’t get her hands on any of it.
Back on the original topic - a pumpkin farm in the area that has been a family tradition for many people for decades is shutting down - sounds like a partition sale, one of the parties wants out and the others can’t buy out his share.
Greenwich -.there was an episode on the tv show called “The Goodwife” where a person (I can’t remember right now if she knew she was dying or what) who owned a very expensive property with valuable items in it placed Post It notes on many items in the house which had the name of the person whom she wanted to get that item when she had passed. Ha! I am laughing at that huge run on sentence I wrote lol! Anyway, when the lawyers opened the door to the house, there were Post It papers all over the place. They had become unattached to the items. I got such a kick out of this episode because they brought as expert witnesses physicists and engineers, and they were using all of their scientific explanations which could explain what happened. OMG - so funny. I told my engineer hubby and he got a kick out of it.
Thank you for all of your responses. I found your suggestions and questions very helpful. Everything has worked out. We are fixing up obvious flaws and getting the place nice and clean. No renovations 