We got my son an e-bike when he was 16 and he took it everywhere (he didn’t have his driver’s license and this was a good way for him to get out of the house and explore on his own). I’m sure he went everywhere, as I think the bike had a 30 mile range. We are also in California — LA area so lots of different places to explore.
My kids both went to summer music camps/programs. But we didn’t send them to camp to “prepare for college”. We sent them to camp because they were interested in going…for the camp purpose. Mine went for 4 weeks every summer starting with the summer after grade 8.
They had to be responsible for themselves while at camp…the camp did have rules that they needed to follow. They were never allowed to wander off the camp site when they felt like it. That would have gotten them a one way ticket home.
It sounds like he could benefit from something really at home or away…that allows him to have the independence and responsibilities a 15 year old might like.
What exactly are his interests? What does he love to do? And does HE want to go to camp someplace for a few weeks?
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He has passed his permit but his test is in November. I don’t have a spare car so he will be able to borrow my car so he definitely will be going places but he isn’t the super social type so I wouldn’t expect all the time. I would imagine he get get together with friends maybe 2 times a week, mostly to golf or hang out somewhere outside. (mountain bike, paddleboard, etc) Not letting him drive to Tahoe to go skiing until way more experience. He will be the first of his friend group to get one and in Cali, they can’t drive friends until they have 1 year of driving experience after passing the license. Not my rules, that is the law and yes I am going to make him follow it! I know a lot of people don’t but that is on them
That makes sense. We are in CA also and I think it’s a good rule.
So it seems he will have the independence he wants pretty soon?
Being honest he would probably rather sleep and videogame all summer long. He would just “talk” to friends on line and not even meet up in person except to golf, paddleboard or mountain bike. He loves to golf, learn about AI, stocks, politics, finance, etc. He wants to camp as long as he isn’t being ”babied”, doesn’t want much adult supervision. He feels like we are controlling him too much and part of it is just who he is. He has a hard time making decisions. When he was younger it was much worse, we could literally go into Baskin Robbins and if you told him any flavor he would just cry and never make a decision and we would leave. If I gave him 3-4 choices that I know he likes, he was happy as a clam and loved it! He does have a diagnosis that explains it. Anyway, I think he is just frustrated right now, he doesn’t truly like where he is in life and wants to do something different but can’t figure out what! We are trying to expose him to as many options as possible. Last summer he mountain biked and golfed a bunch. He told an on line college class, didn’t like it but it was a good way to get the class out of the way. We took him on vacation to Aruba and he was unhappy, just missed being at home. He has a 4.0, took 1 AP class last year and we let him select the classes as much as possible. Think it is just a hard age.
Thanks! Cosmos looks amazing but I am not sure he is driven enough for it. I think he needs something to grow maturity.
Look at the Pacific link I posted. They surprisingly had a lot.
Can he be a counselor in training for a summer camp?
if you are in LA-area, I remember seeing some years ago when I looked for my kids and I can try to find them again.
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Maybe things have changed at camp and summer programs…but at all I know about, your son is going to have staff supervision. And rules.
Could he volunteer his time at a senior center or day care? Could he get lifeguard certification (will he be 16 next summer?). Perhaps having a summer job with some responsibility would be helpful.
And continuing scout camp sounds great. Will he do that again?
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This was our experience as well. Far more rules and supervision at camps and programs for kids at that age then we ever had at home.
My son enjoyed the programs because it was what he wanted to experience (like @thumper1 music related) but there was a fair amount of complaining about rules and social activities that he found annoying. He hated those ice breaker types of games with a passion, for example.
I do think complaining is very much a part of that age. We laugh about it now.
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Check out the one week STEM program for rising juniors at the Naval Academy.
“5. Interact with USNA Midshipmen
4. Design and Build Exciting STEM Projects
3. Learn from USNA Faculty
2. Meet New Friends
- Experience STEM with the #1 Top Public College in the Country and #4 “Best Undergraduate Engineering Program”, #6 National Liberal Arts Colleges in the Country (released 2022 U.S. News & World Report College Ranking Report)”
Or, for a contrast, compare Great Books programs offered by St John’s (either in New Mexico or Annapolis)
Not LA area, we are between Sacramento and Placerville, hence all the mountain biking and during winter ski season!
My son liked The HS stock investor challenge summer program at TCU. Would recommend It. 1 week, live at TCU.
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So Davis would be fairly local, which may or may not be a good thing.
I think the first thing to figure out is whether your son wants a summer camp type experience, or a “this is what it’s like at college” experience where they live in dorms, eat in the dining hall, attend their program lectures inside the college itself etc.
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What is the hurry on “adulting”? Do you think you nag appropriately or too much? Some of this sounds like normal teenage tug of war with parental concerns. If he has a lot of academic work, maybe he could be allowed to do less at home. Ditto if he gets a job. It is hard to ascertain the situation here but I would think most camps for under 18’s do supervise rather closely, and some don’t allow kids off campus without a counselor. If he has a strong interest in something, a camp suited to that makes the most sense. Look into NOLS- someone else mentioned it. National Outdoor Leadership School.
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We have been debating for years about the balance. I want him to launch! He does have a lot of academic work for him, he is inefficient with his time so it takes a long time to get his things done. I don’t remind him about homework but he always does it last minute. He struggles to break down tasks into the smaller pieces. He always barely makes it on time to everything. My hubby and I fight a lot about it. He expects my son to be more of an adult which is what he was at that age. When my hubby comes home to see my son gaming and if his chores aren’t done it makes him mad. I used to make him have his chores done which takes 10-15 minutes a day but then it felt like I was nagging him all the time. He would argue I just got home, I want a snack and downtime, but then it turned into the I need 5 more minutes that turns into more! Annoying!
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Upstream you mentioned that your son had a diagnosis that explained some of this. Perhaps you all would benefit from some discussion with the expert in this area as to how to best help your son, and you parents come to some mutual agreement about what is safe, and doable, etc.
If there are things like executive functioning issues, these also need to be addressed.
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This is somewhere between typical teen behavior and typical ADHD/executive function issues. The latter can often be masked in bright kids. Addressing these ahead of college is important.
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That program looks amazing!!! My son loves reading the Motley Fool, that is something my hubby and he do together at dinner sometimes. He loves learning about different companies and trying to guess why things go up and down. He isn’t religious though, how out of place would he likely feel? At boy scouts he was the champlain so he has prayer time at those events, but would be unfamiliar with the rest.
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I’m wondering if you might get some suggestions by moving this post to:
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