That’s my flight “uniform” - comfy enough to travel in and tidy enough to be in public.
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Hi - wondering if anyone has dealt with (and has strategies?) on a bit of travel anxiety?
Not so much flying - just the whole travel thing (lol)? I haven’t traveled much thru my life (other than an extended family trip to same place for 20+ yrs). In past few years have started planning (paying for), & arranging a few in-USA and overseas trips for myself, daughter/me, and whole fam of four.
I feel pretty competent generally but I get super nervous on travel-related stuff (Did I forget something? Am I doing the right thing? Are the accommodations going to be okay? Will I miss the plane? Will someone get sick?) that the stress mitigates the enjoyment - plus get to airports and train stations super early, nervously recheck docs etc. 
A well-travelled friend did tell me (helpfully) on the “which hotel/Air BnB should I get?!”
issue - “Just find something adequate, select and be down with it!” That did help.
Appreciate any other tips from the more veteran (and calmer!) travelers!
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I love to travel and we do it fairly frequently but full disclosure, I have a bit of pre-travel anxiety too.
All the things that you listed have happened to us over the years.
Forgot something (or had an entire suitcase go missing)? 
Awful accommodations? -
Miss the connection? -
Somebody got sick? -
Stuff happens. I’ve gotten better over the years to just not expect things to be perfect and just go with the flow. When things were forgotten, we made due or bought replacements.
The awful accommodations have turned into hilarious family “remember when” stories. (And it is easier these days with internet reviews to know what you are getting).
Missed connections once yielded me an extra weekend at a luxury hotel in Geneva Switzerland, and once an extra night in Rome, so not always terrible things.
All three of us got sick last summer when were were traveling and we just went to a pharmacy, got otc meds, and trekked on. One trip I fell down the stairs and badly sprained my ankle. A friend broke her shoulder and had to fly home for surgery. My take on that is that we can easily get sick or have accidents at home so I’m not going to give that a second worry. If it happens it happens.
At this point, I feel like the worst that can happen is we have to cancel a trip which we did in 2020 for my 50th birthday. It sucked but we got points, credit, $ back, and survived. We’re very careful to make sure we book refundable everything now.
For me, it comes down to managing expectations. If I just assume things aren’t going to go smoothly and be perfect, it’s easier to not be disappointed if something goes wrong (which it inevitably does).
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Well I am a fellow nervous nelly, but I can tell you some things I do to help calm myself.
If you’re staying in the USA, it pretty easy. Except for maybe contacts, glasses, most everything can be replaced pretty easily. Walmart is everywhere open all of the time.
Hopefully, you’re not going to any third world countries, because I tell myself that if I go overseas. Most things can be replaced. Prescription meds would be another exception.
Someone suggested the app TripIt. I do like using that now, but I still make out my master document. I also have copies of all important info in my email and also on my OneDrive, so I can get to it if needed. I also have birth certificates, drivers licenses (front and back), insurance cards and passports store there too.
I always get to the airport early. My family knows to just deal with it.
Re: illness. I pack a mini pharmacy. I may also scope out online ahead of time, where I could buy toiletries and meds if I’m going out of the country.
If it’s just me and H I don’t worry as much. With family vacations I just want everything to be perfect - and chances are it won’t be. Know that and also know the bad times usually wind up turning into the best stories later. The ones that you retell a millions times and laugh so hard, you worry about peeing on yourself.
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Since covid I have a pouch with medicine packed. Helps the anxiety of getting sick.
Wouldn’t help with an injury. But masks, a box of Covid tests, cold medicine, expectorant, band aid, blister protectors. Stuff like that. Advil of course.
Helped when we visited my daughter last summer. Her fiance fell ill, I had one covid test. It was positive. They didn’t have any. I also had DayQuil for symptoms.
I get nervous also. Have to say that we did two Viking cruises and since everything is planned including being met at the airport, it helps my anxiety. Not everyone wants this kind of trip but I found that the more that is planned for us, the easier I am to go. lol
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My motto…there are stores everywhere. Even in third world countries.
We have had some issues in trips but nothing that would prevent me from traveling again. I too like to get to the airport a LOT early, and everyone else just needs to deal with it.
We have had BIG rental car mess ups, and some missed connections and cancelled flights as well and lost luggage more then once. At the end of the day, we just rolled with the punches….it’s really all you can do.
Keep telling yourself that no matter what…you are going to have a terrific time.
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Pharmacies in many European countries are outstanding. You can get what is prescription over here, OTC there.
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Checklists! Pack an outfit in your carryon in case your luggage is delayed. Spread your cash around between family members (my husband still has an old fashioned money belt). Don’t overpack (my mantra: I’ll never see these people again).
Have fun!
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For us, travel time and dollars are limited. So the thought of something going wrong or someone getting sick are cause for nerves as we wait with SO much anticipation for those few trips we do make. One thing that works for me is to have some back up plans/excursions. Going to the beach and the weather is showing 3 days of rain? Do some planning ahead of time for other activities other than staring out the window at the dreary rain.
I guess that would be another thing. Coming to terms with whatever weather you get. You cannot control or influence the weather. You get what you get.
And my final help to myself. Lists and more lists!
Pack light. Wear heavy shoes on the plane. Take picture and have photo copies of passports/insurance cards. Buy tickets ahead, when possible. For longer trips - west coast/Europe I tend to wear the same thing on the plane - black capri yoga pants, black t-shirt and black wrap/cardigan. It looks put together and all the pieces match with other things I pack. Since we usually stay at apartments, I make sure there is a washer and dryer (Europeans often don’t use their dryers much and if they have one it takes FOREVER to dry so better off hang drying).
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Here are my tips.
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Decide which details to stress about. After years and years of travel - the only thing I double check when leaving the house for any trip - is whether I have my passport and my wallet. If I have those things, I can buy my way of out most problems. No need to worry about whether I brought that last sweater or packed deodorant - everything material I’d need/want on a trip can be replaced.
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Xanax. Seriously. I hate flying, and have a Xanax prescription solely for travel. But you can take a Xanax once you get in the car/Uber/train/whatever to take a bit of the edge off for the beginning of the trip. Better living through chemistry.
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Pack light. I tell myself I can’t plan for every eventuality so now I pack and plan for exactly what I expect. That means not packing everything I might need - I pack what I know I will need and remind myself of tip #1 - if I have my wallet I can buy what I might find I need (and it can be a memento of the trip itself). We are a carry-on only family; I’ve never wished I had packed more than I’ve brought since going carry-on only.
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Be honest about what kind of traveler you are. I would rather stay somewhere smaller that is better located than have lots of space in the hotel room/AirBnB/etc further away from what I am visiting. Being honest with what kind of travel would make you happy and what kind would drive you up the wall is important. Often times these kind of decisions really are answering the question, “Do you want to spend time or do you want to spend money?” Figuring out that answer before you start planning super helpful, as well as for making decisions mid-trip.
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Don’t over plan. I usually have one activity or sight for each day on vacation and one meal reservation per day (lunch or dinner). That leaves lots of flexibility in the schedule while also preventing a day spent traveling and queueing. No trip will allow you to see or do everything and trying just leads to tired grumpiness and what we refer to as “magical moments”; a reference to the incredible meltdowns we’ve witnessed other families having at Disneyworld.
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I am prone to stress over travel (and other things). Hubby and I usually have to negotiate about what time to leave for the airport. I’d rather kill time at the terminal than risk delay along the way. Of course with Covid we don’t want tooo much time at the terminal.
As I get older, I stress a bit more. BUT in retirement there is less worry about the work stuff (my job made it hard to completely unplug - I only left the laptop home for non-US travel). Zero worry about getting delayed and missing work.
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These are all amazingly helpful tips. I really appreciate them and will take them to heart.
I can immediately see the benefits to: 1) accepting some things will go wrong/be forgotten and just roll with that expectation, 2) focus on essentials (wallet/glasses/passport/contacts/copies of docs), 3) have at least one back-up plan, and 4) keep telling self “we are going to have a terrific time!” (all the other tips great too!)
For my (first self-planned) trip to Europe earlier this year - I had more than just lists - had a tabbed binder, color coded, multiple copies of every excursion and train ticket and restaurant recommendations for every city. Yeah it was thorough but somehow almost added to the stress (?) because I felt responsible and tried to anticipate it all. Kind of reduced the joy - (I.e., “Here’s our train station - okay everyone we have to hurry up!”)
My goals going forward are to be planful and accurate but not stress so much - I know one person’s anxiety can color the mood and I don’t want to do that to my family.
Again - really appreciate these insights (and am also glad to know I’m not the only one who wants to get to airports early!!). 
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One other thing. If overseas, get the $10/day international plan. I think most carriers have that. And if you don’t speak the language, get familiar or know how to use the translate app. It might come in handy.
In Rome, my brilliant college aged S jumped off an aqueduct and thought he broke his foot, but of course didn’t tell me until everything was close to closing. I didn’t speak a word of Italian nor did I have the international plan. So I took screenshots of a boot and crutches in the apartment with wifi and went running to any type of place that might sell such a thing and still be open. Nobody working seemed to know English either, but at least I could show them what I needed. It would have been easier with the translate app and cell data access. I never did find anything but fortunately S felt a lot better the next day. Just a sprain I guess.
On that trip - that my poor mom was in charge of - everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Including a sick grandkid (my nephew) who while lying in bed had brown sewage coming dripping through the ceiling onto his bed!! And two cancelled flights, lost luggage, a guide who ghosted us. But hey- we made friends with a lawyer from Uganda who we helped booked a train trip from nice to rome after our flight was cancelled. Try booking tickets for 10 people on a hotel computer with a 15 min time limit and the keyboard was in French. lol. Good times.
When traveling with someone, pack some of your clothes in their suitcase and some of theirs in yours. If one of your suitcases is lost or delayed then at least you both will have clothing.
I shared this tip with a friend who was going to Europe for 2 weeks. She did it on a lark and sure enough, her husband’s suitcase was lost for 3 days. He was so glad to have some clean clothes.
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That’s a good idea. A variation we do is for me to carry one packing cube in my backpack with underwear and some clothes for me and husband. (We usually do carry-on roller bags, but sometimes they end up needing to get checked.)
My H makes lists of what to pack. I’ve started doing so as well and find it VERY helpful.
Today, I printed labels of my 1st name, cell & email address in 8 point font and 16 point font and attached them (via scotch or packing tape) to all my medical equipment and will be traveling with me. (Small labels on equipment that doesn’t have much flat surface and larger labels where this is enough flat surface.) Sadly I require 3 medical machines and cords that go with them and batteries when I travel. I feel better knowing that they are all labeled so hopefully can be returned if somehow they are misplaced. The only upside is that medical equipment and Rx aren’t counted as luggage, but they make it tough to “travel light,” as we did before.
I also like being at the airport early and with printouts of all our reservations in a zippered pouch so I can present them in case there’s a discrepancy between my reservation and their copy.
I make a spreadsheet that I give H a copy of with details of the trip. I try to think of options in case weather may be inclement. Mainly we try to adapt as things occur and mostly things have worked out quite well.
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Thanks again for all these great tips/strategies!
Another thing I’m taking from this thread (important to me!) is that much of what I’ve been doing on my recent travels (making detailed lists, copies of all docs, reading reviews of Air BnBs/hotels, getting to airports and train stations early, packing various meds) is actually not out of the ordinary.
On top of my general travel stress I was starting to think there was (maybe) something wrong with me doing all this detailed planning (cause rest of the family was so chill about it).
During our usual extended family vacations (over 20 years) - husband’s older siblings did all the coordination/leading with the organization so no need for our family to do much except pack, pay, and show up.
Removing some of the self-judgement from planning will (ironically) help with the stress! Then hopefully a relaxing time to come!
Thanks again!
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I was surprised to read how many people do all of the lists and summaries too! I thought I was just neurotic. But then again this is CC. We are a bunch of planners here.
This is also why when my parents took us on three 2.5-3 week european trips, I was so so appreciative. I know just how long and hard my mom planned everything so everyone would be happy. All I had to do was just show up and be led around like a kid. I did try to help her plan some, so she knew what kinds of things we liked to do. I know she appreciated that. When she took another siblings family, it was left all up to her. It’s stressful!
You will have fun no matter what. Just keep repeating that!
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I’ll add in….divy up and trust the other travelers if there are any to take care of some of the tasks.
Does one person love coffee? Let them research the vacation coffee spots.
Is one person the weather guru? Let them update people on weather to be expected.
Is one person terrible at planning but happy to run errands? Let them pick up the last minute items or plane snacks.
Unless you’re taking a crew under age 10 they can probably all help with aspects of the trip!!!
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