Feedback on my Appeal letter to UCSC

Hello, I got wait listed at UC Santa Cruz and decided to give the appeals process a shot. I am a little over the word limit by about 35 words so if you can help cut down on the word amount that would be great! Any help is appreciated, thank you.

[appeal letter deleted]

@greenwich303: Please do not post any appeal letters on this website. If you want feedback, ask CC posters to PM you and you can then submit your letter to them for feedback and review.

@Kamikazewave: If you nothing constructive to say, then do not say anything at all. I have deleted your post.