Feedback on this idea?

College Essays
1

<p>how does this idea sound for the “Topic of your choice” for the Common App?</p>

<p>when I was 8, my family visited Rome for my birthday. However, I didn’t enjoy the trip at all because I knew none of the history or had never heard of anything I was seeing. I cried when we visited the Coloseum because it was raining, it was just some ‘boring ruins’, and I wanted to be home.</p>

<p>I was thinking I could relate this to the importance of knowledge; I missed out on enjoying a truly fantastic opportunity because I didn’t know about the world around me. Because of this, I now strive to take advantage of all my opportunities and basically am curious and have an intense desire to LEARN.</p>

<p>I don’t know. uhh. feedback?
thanks. :)</p>

2

<p>I think it will be interesting if you make a good connection between your previous trip and what you are thinking now. I would like to read your essay when you finished, if you like ,just pm me then. Thanks.</p>

3

<p>thanks, anyone else?</p>

4

<p>Lol, the blatant ********ting here astounds me.</p>

5

<p>I think that the essay should not dwell on an event of 9 years ago.</p>

<p>I don’t think the claim that now you pursue knowledge because you missed out on Rome when you were eight is credible.</p>

6

<p>Ya, I don’t see the connection. You’re not showin anything.
I visited Rome and missed out on an opportunity to learn, but now I want to learn. How about you show me an example of how you want to learn.</p>

7

<p>The essay topic also seems to “try too hard”, if you know what I mean. It seems like you’re trying to impress an adcom over the fact that you love to learn. If you truly love to learn, I’m sure there are other less superficial and more recent cases which you have demonstrated a love for learning. Choose something basic; just because you went to Rome once doesn’t mean anything. </p>

<p>For example, I love to read Discover Magazine. I come home, sit on my couch, and read it until I fall asleep. That’s how I take a break in the afternoon. It’s more down-to-earth and sincere if you shoot for a topic that is a smaller part of your life, but influences you in a big way.</p>

8

<p>I agree that on the face of this, it does not sound like a very good essay topic, but it really depends on what you write - maybe you can make a fabulous essay out of this.</p>

9

<p>try just describing some recent even where you <em>did</em> express an intense desire to learn. even if it’s just a class you took or a conversation with someone. it’d be much more meaningful, less forced. good luck!</p>