feedback, por favor

<p>If you don't mind, I would GREATLY appreciate feedback/suggestions on this essay.</p>

<pre><code>God greatly blessed me at birth. He placed me in a Christian home, and my parents worked hard to set godly examples and instill godly values in me. I learned Bible stories and memorized verses at an early age. When I was six, I decided that it would be fun to walk down the aisle at Vacation Bible School, and I ignorantly and insincerely prayed for Jesus to come and live in my heart. Then I attended the ceremony, ate a bunch of cookies, and forgot all about my “decision”. After stumbling around, lost, for a few years, I finally surrendered my life and became a follower of Christ. Through my making this choice, my life has gained meaning and purpose. God has allowed me to serve Him in many ways, and He has introduced me to truly great people, whom I have the honor of calling my brothers and sisters. I have matured immensely in my walk with Christ over the years, and I look forward to watching my faith grow during my college years.

Never underestimate the philosophical conversations of sixth-graders. In the middle of a pajama party discussion about morals, religion, and evolution, I realized that I was lost. After studying my Bible and listening closely to sermons, I came to the conclusion that I could not shut God out of my life and confine Him to the pages of my Bible. He required an intimate, personal relationship and full surrender of myself in every aspect of my life. One night, I took an honest look at myself and recognized how selfish and sinful I was, how I desperately needed to be forgiven and made into a new creation. I closed my eyes and cried out to my heavenly father, laying my life at His feet and praying the prayer of salvation. Unlike my earlier “decision”, this time I was completely sincere, and I vowed to dedicate every part of my life to Christ.

After becoming a member of a youth group, I realized how much Christianity rocks. Jim, the youth pastor, invited me and my guitar to join the praise band, and I learned the immense value of honest worship. Worship deepens one’s relationship with God through an indescribable joy and peace, and it is now an absolute necessity in my life. Participating in a youth group also allowed me to witness the lives of passionate Christian peers, and fellowshipping with them inspired and encouraged me to daily strengthen my walk with God.

If my relationship with Christ had to be summed up using one word, I would choose the word “faith“. Faith is believing without seeing, having complete confidence in the infallibility of an ancient book. I have entrusted my life to God, and, though it may cost me earthly pleasures and opportunities, I will hold my life to His standards and commands. I believe that He has a plan for me, and I will stay on the narrow path, living my life according to His will.
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<p>Gracias</p>

<p>what school is this for?</p>

<p>Originally, it was for Taylor University and Wheaton, Christian schools. I am also considering sending it to other places under the "topic of your choice" category. But that's irrelevant. I just need feedback.</p>

<p>You present yourself as completely passive "lamb" waiting to be guided blindly by an all-powerful God. I think it's too much even for Christian schools to take.</p>