So I go to a large flagship state school ( think UT Austin/U.Va/UNC ) that while academically very strong, is heavily sports-oriented. While I found a couple of good friends here and there, I don’t really have a bond/brotherhood/“squad” that I’m extremely close with and can rely on like I did in HS.
Sometimes I make some new friends while going to parties and stuff, but once we meet again and we’re not under the influence of alcohol we quickly realize that we don’t have anything in common and our friendship quickly wanes. I tried joining a BUNCH of diverse clubs and organizations. I’m a pretty social guy, so I usually hit it up pretty well at first; at least until someone wants to play basketball or throw a football…
ALL the guys seem to make their closest bonds through basketball. That seems fine, except for the fact that I absolutely can’t play basketball. At all. I am easily the most unathletic guy you will ever, EVER meet. (Not exaggerating). I don’t know why; I just am. Whenever I try to play, I end up just annoying anyone who tries to take the game seriously. After one game, that’s ALL the guys talk about and care about. I’m kinda just out there unable to contribute to the conversation because I simply have no interest in it at all. Eventually they start playing more frequently, start a group chat, all that jazz. I end up fading out after a while.
Now this is just one example. The point is that college guys ( at least at my school ) seem to make their closest friends through some sort of sport. The girls end up wanting to hang out with those guys too lol. This seems to be even greater accentuated through the fact that I’m in the business school. Whether it be rushing any sort of fraternity (athleticism is really important for bids) or even the more academic business clubs, sports seem to be the #1 way to get friends. It’s odd - I was really social in High school and had no trouble making friends, but for some reason I can’t really hit it off with these people.
There doesn’t seem to be any middle ground - it’s either hang out with the guys I enjoy being around, go do a bunch of fun things, but don’t bond closely with them because of sports, or hang out with the super nerdy kids who never go outside and just play league lol.
I’m honestly thinking about forcing myself learn everything about football and basketball and hiring someone to make me suck less
He is very similar. His other problem is that he is 6’5 and skinny, so the first question people ask him is whether he plays basketball (never played and absolutely no interest). I tried to get him to take a crash course from my older son in the basics of football - nope, no interest.