<p>I was wondering if I could get some parental insight into this. I am a female in college who is currently a junior a few credits shy of senior status. I suffer from depression and anxiety and most recently endometriosis which causes debilitating pain that has been interfering with me going to class. I have decided the best scenario in my case is to take a medical withdraw and go home where I can undergo surgery and receive proper treatment for my mental health issues. While I know my health is the most important factor I can’t help but feel like I let my parents down since I am so close to graduation. While I will be returning home I will be working and saving money for an apartment in the city nearby and will be enrolling at a university there in May at the latest. Have any of your kids had to withdraw late in the game and what were your feelings on it?</p>
<p>my daughter took a year off after jr year- ( when she failed the ochem final at the end of spring term)- it wasn’t optimal certainly, but she retook it at a local school, while working and taking a couple other classes , then returned to her college & graduated, the following year. Her college was very helpful as were the profs</p>
<p>( Since her school requires all seniors to write and defend a senior thesis, retaking ochem at her college during senior year was out of the question & since we were dependent on finaid- it wasn’t possible to continue there with a lighter load)</p>
<p>Mental health issues had exacerbated the struggle w her studies & while we all were disappointed that her graduation was delayed, her health was the most important thing.</p>
<p>However, since we are in the same general region as her college, that made it much easier for her to remain in contact with her friends, and three of us ( herself, her younger sister, who had gone for many visits & myself), went down for what would have been her graduation. Quite a few of her friends also were still in the area, or flew in for her own graduation the next year.</p>
<p>I hope you get some relief from your endometriosis. I have never had that, but had friends that did- it sounds horrible.
:(</p>
<p>Would it be possible for you to take a leave instead of withdraw? You could always withdraw later if you find the need to do so. It’s best to leave as many options open as possible. As for letting your parents down, they may be disappointed but they will deal with it. The important thing is that you take care of your health, both physical and mental, and seeing you prioritize during difficult times will probably go a long way to reassure your parents.</p>
<p>How can having a medical condition be ‘letting your parents down’? It isn’t like your education is being impacted due to slacking, partying, sleeping in, etc.</p>
<p>Talk to a school counselor and explain your situation and determine how best to handle the logistics of this so you can address your medical issues and then return and finish up. You’re not the first one to have to take some time off for a medical condition.</p>
<p>Three thoughts: 1. I would always prefer to see students be healthy to get the most value out of their courses and retain the knowledge forever. If you need surgery, along with time to get some proper medication and diagnosis for anxiety and depression, so be it. It’s better to get these things in hand now than face them next year or while you try to graduate and tangle with graduate school or transition-to-work. </p>
<p>2.
Whenever one of my children presents me with something they have “Decided” I respect them for being decisive. I realize they have experienced something large, have thought about several options, and have chosen a path. They know, at the deepest level, what will work for them. </p>
<p>You sound thoughtful but exhausted. You are doing the right thing. I wish you health and respect you for taking the time to pursue it before completing your education. If your parents express disappointment, perhaps you can ask them for understanding. It will help you heal faster. Sometimes you just need to ask for what you need.</p>
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<li>It’s not your fault.</li>
</ol>
<p>I did the same thing a few years ago, just two months shy of my graduation with my masters degree. Depression, anxiety, and a bout with recurring pneumonia that I couldn’t quite get rid of and kidney stones (don’t ever get those two simultaneously… it really stinks) knocked me around quite a bit, but the K-O punch was that my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and died very shortly thereafter. After that, I reached the point where too much had happened in too short a period of time, I really didn’t have a support network at the university, and I felt that it became flat-out dangerous to my mental and physical health to NOT take a knee, recuperate, and then try again the next semester. I went to the university counseling center, made an emergency appointment, sat down with a counselor, she called in the dean of graduate studies, and we decided it would be best for me to take a medical withdrawal and come back the next semester. </p>
<p>My parents were actually very glad to have me home, because they could see me actually recuperating over the course of the few months that I was around them. They were less worried about how I was doing, because when I got there, they could see that I really needed the break, and they could see that I was okay and getting better.</p>
<p>I went back the next semester, as I was determined to do when I left, and graduated successfully. I’ve just taken my engineering licensure exam, I’m working at a respected firm doing really high-profile projects, I’m feeling significantly better now (particularly since I’ve somewhat learned about the value of taking care of myself!), I’m happily married to the love of my life, I’ve got two great cats, a beautiful house, and great prospects.</p>
<p>It sounds like this is a good time to take a knee, and that it’s truly in your best interest to do so. (And if your parents DO act at all as though they’re let down by your choosing to recuperate, I can almost guarantee you that the root of it is because they’re worried to see you hurting so badly right now.)</p>
<p>Not only is this not your fault, but YOU WILL BE OKAY. This too shall pass.</p>
<p>Take care. Be gentle with yourself; you deserve some gentleness.</p>
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<p>It seems as though you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Why “May at the latest?”
Just focus on your health. Have your surgery, and recover fully before committing to returning to school. It will be there when you’re healthy, and life is not a race.
You’re doing the right thing by caring for your health, and while your parents might be disappointed <em>for</em> you, they are unlikely to be disappointed <em>in</em> you. They will understand. Good luck, dear.</p>