<p>I transferred from to a new school (because it’s an Ivy) last semester but still haven’t made any close friends. I had a lot of friends in my old college but that’s because we met freshmen year. It seems like everyone here has already made friends and so it’s more awkward. Everyone on my floor is pretty nice and a few girls try to include me in stuff by asking me if I want to get dinner or watch a movie, but I just don’t “click” with everyone. I go to dinner with a few people I know but they bring along all their friends in other dorms and talk about other people they know and insider stuff that only friends would get. Sometimes I feel like I just have 1.5 years left and that I should just focus on academics and not worry about making friends. What do you all think? Any advice for me?</p>
<p>How did you make friends at your old school? By talking to people in class and things evolved from there. Have you done that at your new school? Ask to go out to dinner with the people you already do, and talk to their friends or just go to eat with the friends you do have. You’ll find what you have in common, if you have common friends, activities you can do together, etc. Making friends after transferring shouldn’t be all that different from making friends when you first started as a freshman. I didn’t know ANYONE in my business classes when I changed majors (from Exercise Science) but in these three weeks of second semester, talk to probably 10-15 regularly and we hang out. It could also be because in the junior/senior level classes students are more focused on academics because it’s no longer boring intro classes so they work on homework and school stuff more often. Find some clubs that sound interesting and go to a meeting or something like that. Alot of the people I know, I met through either recreational clubs or major-related clubs. And going on school trips–my school’s ski club went to Colorado over winter break and before the trip I knew maybe 15 people in the club. Since then, I’ve talked to probably 50-75 from the club who went on the trip.</p>
<p>PS–Did you really transfer to an Ivy only because it’s an Ivy?</p>
<p>Mally…sorry you are having a hard time right now. Transitions take time and are never easy. However the more you do the better you get at it. So on that note…go join a club you have an interest in. Something that meets more than once a week and get involved. Try a few in case one doesn’t work out. Sometimes your “major” will have some additional groups you can get involved in. Get out there and friends will come…just like they did at your last college:)</p>
<p>Don’t go Greek or anything so quickly. You don’t want to have to pay for friends.</p>
<p>Look around off campus. All but one of my activities are off campus. Aside from a few people who I get along with very well, I don’t click with a whole lot of college aged people in general. I am with adults in my other social groups and at work, and I have always preferred adults to peers.</p>
<p>Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. No sense going outside your comfort zone. Stay calm.</p>
<p>Standard answer would be: join a club. No one ever seems to have much of anything useful to say on the subject, aside from that.</p>
<p>I didn’t ever switch schools but I was in a pretty tight-knit major my first year, and then I switched. Never really saw any of the people I’d know previously again, and I found myself very much in a situation like you described: everyone had already made all their friends freshman year, and no one was looking for any new ones. I did go and join a club but it seems like I’m the only one that joined looking to meet other people…the rest of the people there all show up with a group of their friends, or are there to be friendly with people and involved in the organization, but not necessarily make new friends. I’ve just pretty much realized that I’m just not going to make any new friends in my (short) remaining time here, though. Such is life.</p>
<p>I kind of know how you feel. I was in the same situation, well, except I transfered to a different HS, not college. Anyways, I met alot of my friends from playing football. Not saying you have to play sports, but try joining some clubs or something where people share similar interests.</p>
<p>AFPrep850:
"Look around off campus. All but one of my activities are off campus. Aside from a few people who I get along with very well, I don’t click with a whole lot of college aged people in general. I am with adults in my other social groups and at work, and I have always preferred adults to peers.</p>
<p>Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. No sense going outside your comfort zone. Stay calm."</p>
<p>you should not be giving advice for two reasons:</p>
<p>1) It appears you are adverse to social interaction with your peers who you probably think are not mature enough for you</p>
<p>2) You advised her not to leave her comfort zone, when leaving your comfort zone is the only way to make friends.</p>
<p>Don’t worry. You shouldn’t want to meet new people because people are freaks. They get you into all kinds of trouble and are sexual deviants as well. Don’t trust anybody.</p>
<p>If I was you, I would first worry about academics. Graduating in good standing at an Ivy is highly beneficial to your future. Of course, I would also desire to make friends, which I think is absolutely normal. The best way to do this is persistent involvement, there ought to be some people on a large campus that are friend material; it’s just a matter of finding them.</p>
<p>This coming from me, someone who is bunkered in his dorm room writing on CC on Friday night while his peers are socializing. </p>