Feeling sad - son and dad making college visits without me

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Well, they are leaving any minute now…and I’m feeling bad that I’m not going. But one of us has to stay behind to take care of the other kids, and my son said he preferred to go with his dad.</p>

<p>I’m feeling particularly bad because the trip includes visits to the two schools I went to for college and grad school, so I can’t even see them again.</p>

<p>They will be gone all week and are visiting five schools.</p>

<p>Has anyone out there experienced being the one left behind, and not felt so good about it?</p>

2

<p>Can you do the next round? Frankly, after a few rounds I was really happy when those boring tours were DH’s turn:)</p>

3

<p>oh, my heart goes out to you - One of those times where you’d like to clone yourself and be in two places at once!</p>

4

<p>My son and DH took the after-acceptance college tour last spring, and it was much more helpful for my son to see the schools with his dad than if I had been there also or instead. They checked out the gym, the young ladies, the food, the fraternities. I would have been much more “let’s sit in on classes”, which would not have been as helpful to him.</p>

5

<p>Ohh, I would be sad too! But your son and husband will get special bonding time alone, and you’re making that possible. </p>

<p>Maybe you can be the one to take him on some other visits? Or take him to Accepted Student Days after he’s done his apps?</p>

6

<p>Try and focus on the excellent bonding time you’ll have with your other children.</p>

7

<p>Good for you for taking the high road, letting them go, and not making this about you, but rather about him and getting what he needs to make this decision. For the schools you went to, you can ask good questions. Have them take a few pictures to show you and the siblings. You’re a good mom.</p>

8

<p>DH and sons took the first trips. It made sense between the hotels and the others at home. It was also one of the few times they spent together alone. But when they were accepted I went for the orientations when they were staying in the dorms. It was not the same. But it sort of evened out. I pay more attention to the details and he would just sit in the lounge letting them explore on their own. It worked out. When DD went, I went with her. </p>

<p>There will be other times to share. Let them have this one.</p>

9

<p>ReadyToRoll - you are a good sport. They are lucky to have you!</p>

<p>For better or worse, I did all the college visits with S1, usually with younger siblings along for the ride. H came with us just once, and it looks like it will be the same this time around with S2. H. just does not enjoy it.</p>

10

<p>For Dad’s and sons to want to go “fishing/hunting” (no matter what the prey), together is both natural and good. I’m not poo-pooing your feelings, just pointing out a natural inclination. Take it as a sign that you are doing well as a Mom.</p>