^^^exactly. Tell them how much you will miss them, but keep the tears private. It will be tough for sure. But what I found was that after the first left, life was still so busy with the second. After the second left and empty nester status looming, I booked a trip to Italy in September. Having an adults only vacation to look forward to really helped.
Yes, please don’t make it harder on kids by openly and publicly sobbing around them. Shedding discreet tears may be unavoidable, but compose yourself and be proud and happy for your kid!
When my son went to kindergarten, I came home from work the first day to put him on the bus with my wife (and her mom was there as well). As the bus pulled away, I saw my wife and her mom crying. I said I have to get back to work and left before I joined them. I followed the bus our of our neighborhood. At one stop, about 5-6 kids got on. As the bus pulled away, a group of parents were high fiving and hugging each other. Major contrast.
It was tough to drop my son off at college last fall. He ultimately (and subtly) kicked us out. I will be a basket case when my daughter leaves next fall. Nothing I can do short of taking drugs. She was the first one who started to cry when we dropped her brother off last fall. We will get through it.
I will tell you truthfully that the time between drop-off and fall break seemed like a long time but after that it felt like she was home every five minutes–Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring break and suddenly the school year was over.
I am going thru a little of the same thing. After my oldest son graduated from college two years ago, he lived with us for a few months till he found a job. Then he moved out into his own apartment in a town about 30 minutes away. We did not see him much, except about once a month as he had a very busy social and work life. But it was nice to know he was that close by. My younger son just graduated from college, and decided to stay in the town he went to college in. (We are in CA, he is in Wisconsin). I was adjusted to that as he made that decision during his senior year. Now my older son is transferring to Alabama for a really great job in his field. He is moving in two weeks, and we are VERY happy for him but sad we will not be neither either one of our sons. And we have no other family near us either. Still, it is what we raised our sons to be: independent minded and motivated men. So we are very proud of them. It will be an adjustment for us. I just hope we get used to it quicker rather than later!
We live in Asia for our work and left our daughter in New England last fall when she started college. It was really hard at first, but all the while we were so excited to hear about everything she was experiencing. She is a committed communicator and we heard from her daily which made being over 7000 miles apart a little easier. Now she is home after an amazing first year, and it is thrilling to see how much she has grown and be with the adult she is evolving into. Later this summer we get to meet her first boyfriend who she met at college and who she has been dating for about 7 months now. We are already falling in love with him.
It is hard to let them go away to school, but at the same time wonderful to see what happens next.