Fighting in My House NEED HELP NOW

<p>guys i am shakikng and crying right now. i've come to the parents forum specifically because i don't know what to do, i nearly called the cops but i hit cancel on my cellphone before the call started. my older brother was hitting my little brother and when he wenet to strike him i pushed him back because i didn't want my little brother to get hit, my dad who is the main controller of my older brother (who is built and just graduated form college) is out and my mom ran up from the backyard BBQ. He just kept hitting me and thisi s a while since we've fought but it didn't hurt me and i hit him back, he is a dirty bstrad who watches and eats all things hich har agaisnt my family values and religion. He told me he would get me after my mom intervened and i belief him because a few years ago i broke his laptop scren by mistake and the next morning when everyone left the house he choked and beat me. right now i don't know what to do, what ewapons would anyone reccomend to keep me safe, i really don't want to call the cops i want my family to stay together plase help</p>

<p>You need to call the police right now. Apparently this forum has been down, but if you are still at home, you must get local help immediately, not expect to be saved by an internet commuity. As much as people might care, we are faceless words on a screen. Go get help from real people in your town. They will care and have the power to help you. You are doing no one any favors by allowing this to continue.</p>

<p>zetsui....I am sorry for the strife going on for you right now. I do not know your family dynamics and it is hard to help you through an internet forum. I would talk privately with your mom or dad and tell them that you are fearful of your brother's physical threats and see how they can help you. You do NOT need weapons and that is NOT the answer to this problem. If your parents are not able to support you and deal with this, call a hotline or counseling service. As well, go to another adult you can trust....a religious leader, a teacher, a guidance counselor, and ask for their help. I do not think the cops are the answer if we are talking fights with your sibling but I don't know your situation exactly. When your brother "choked and beat" you a few years ago, were your parents aware and what did they do? I don't have enough information to go on here. </p>

<p>Please seek out help by local people. We all care about you here but we cannot help you from afar. Weapons are not what will keep you safe...they will escalate the problem and you yourself might get into deep trouble. The answer is to get another trusted adult involved...start with mom or dad and if not helpful, go to the people I suggested. Let us know how it is going. </p>


<p>I agree with Susan. It's essential that you and your family get some help. Weapons will not help you, but will make the situation worse.</p>

<p>What your family needs is assistance from a licensed therapist who is experienced with working with families in which a member is violent.</p>

<p>If your parents refuse to get help, then you must talk to a teacher, spirtiual leader, etc. or even the police to get help. I know that you are concerned that your family will be broken up if the police get involved, but your brother is very dangerous, and it may be that if you can not get any other help and must go to the police, going to them will avert even worse problems than you are anticipating.</p>

<p>Your brother has some serious problems that could lead to your death or to the death of other family members, including your brother. He needs help. Your family needs help. Please approach people in real life to get the help that you and your family need. Since you seem to be the only person in your family acknowledging the severity of your brother's problems, if you don't take actions by getting help from a professional or other adult, then the situation is likely to only get worse at home. And your getting a weapon would only make things worse faster.</p>

<p>I am so sorry for what you are going through. Please, please, though, do not rely on us strangers on an Internet board. Get help in real life even if it means calling your local hotline or making an anonymous call to the police to get advice.</p>

<p>If your parents aren't supportive of forcing your brother into therapy, while they also ensure the safety of you and your little brother:</p>

<p>Call 1-800-4A Child</p>

<p>They'll refer your info to a local orgaization who will send someone to your home to interview you and find out what's going on, how severe the problem is, what help is needed, whether or not your parents have the ability to manage this and keep everyone safe. The bottom line will be your parents ability to maintain a safe home and follow any paths set up by the agency. If the agency mandates counseling for your brother, they will also monitor the situation to see that he attends and that your parents support it. </p>

<p>Meanwhile, while you continue to live in the situation, make an emergency escape plan. Share it with your little brother. Start by picking a secret meeting place outside of the home. If you both need to escape quickly, you may not be able to leave together. You'll want to have a place where you can both meet up (i.e. the nearest 7/11, a neighbors home, the nearest church, etc). Take enough change with you to use a payphone. </p>

<p>Your situation is horrible and you shouldn't have to live that way. If your parents won't fix it, you need help from other adults in resolving it. Don't feel badly about making calls. You might save your life or the life of your little brother - and might save your big brother from a lifetime behind bars, or worse.</p>

<p>Excellent advice so far. The only thing I will add is that violence can be indicative of an underlying psychological problem, such as biopolar. The only way those things get better is with treatment. Therapy (and sometimes medication) would be needed, not just family counseling.</p>

<p>Do not be surprised if your parents don't fully acknowledge how bad the situation is for you. That isn't a reflection upon you or your communication skills; it's just that parents don't want to believe that such a large problem is occuring in their home. They might pass it off as normal sibling fighting, but, IMO, normal sibling fighting NEVER involves beating or choking. Hair-pulling is normal. Choking is not (and, by the way, is considered attempted murder in some states - heard that from my local police).</p>

<p>Dear Zetsui,
I am so glad you are telling us what's happening at your house. But all the advice the parents here can offer will not keep you and your little brother safe. To stay safe, please take the advice that is being offered here and speak with the police, or a school counselor, or a religious leader in your community, or the local child abuse hotline (Just dial your operator and s/he will connect you.) I think that if you sat with an adult you respect outside of your immediate family, they might be able to help you to see the situation more clearly and to make good decisions. Please do not try to handle this alone!</p>

<p>Call The Hotline Immediately!!!!!!!</p>

<p>I know it's late, since you posted your cry for help on the 5th of June. But, like everyone has said, you need to protect yourself immediately. If physical abuse is imminent, have your cellphone with you at all times and you might wanna start talking to a security personnel right about now. If not and future conflicts, verbal mostly, are on the way, you should talk to a close friend of the family or contact a non-profit mediating organization for help. Please do something. You can't sit around and cry like this. I wish I could offer you more than words.</p>

<p>I agree with all of the wonderful advice here... are you and your little brother ok, zetsui? I'm worried... I hope you've gone to the police.</p>

<p>Not to sound like a sceptic, but this post has flame written all over it. If the dude is serious, I do truly feel for him, but usually posts rife with mispellings and so ludicrious sounding tend to be fakes. Good luck nonetheless!</p>

<p>If it is, then why not just ignore it and avoid the possibility of making the person feel more abandoned if it isn't? After all, it doesn't harm you even if it is a fake, does it? (And the word is "troll.")</p>