<p>I’m with Oldfort. Your animals depend on you to make choices which protect them. Next time no way.</p>
<p>YOU should not have to leave YOUR home. If the wife is usually fine, talk to her before their arrival date. Explain that if they need to have even a heated discussion, you would like them to go out of your apartment to do so.</p>
<p>It might work, and it might not.</p>
<p>However, IF there are issues again this time…do NOT say yes another time. You don’t have to give a reason and you don’t have to feel guilty. It’s not YOUR fault that they argue, and it’s YOUR home. Next time, simply say you can’t accommodate them because of other commitments. No need to tell them what they are…it’s none of their business.</p>
<p>I’m with others…I would have said NO this time…it’s not your problem that it is the holiday season and they need lodging. What would they have done if you lived elsewhere? My bet is they would have gotten a hotel.</p>
<p>Their visit to the city must be pretty darn important.</p>
<p>I’m a little confused. Is this your generation – as in cousins – or your parent’s generation as in aunts and uncles? </p>
<p>It seems to me to be an overwhelming imposition for a couple to expect to stay in a single person’s studio apartment (in NYC?). If it’s a couch-surfing generation, I can understand a bit better, but still.</p>
<p>I would not have invited them to stay. I can’t imagine where you’re all going to sit down, never mind sleep. Perhaps your studio is larger than ones I have seen.</p>
<p>And it’s a studio apartment that also houses a couple of pets. Personally I can’t believe they even asked this of you.</p>
<p>They are older than me, but not much, much older - think 40’s, early 50’s, so I guess it would be parents’ generation.</p>
<p>Yes, it’s a small studio apartment - it’s a pretty small space, but there is enough sleeping room. I just sleep on a pull-out, full-size futon.</p>
<p>But, when everyone is awake, it is a small space, which makes the situation more stressful, because eveyone is cramped. The visit to NY is indeed very important, and the time got changed at the last minute (not through any fault of the couple), throwing previous plans out the window.</p>
<p>At this juncture, I would write them a short note of welcome, mentioning their dates, followed by your list of “House Rules” that you send to “all guests.” That’s face-saving to them. If they make fun of that, ignore them. </p>
<p>If they are that age, you’ll be reminding them by the phrase “House Rules” that this is your place. Even if the apartment is small and you are younger, you need to internalize that you have the right to your own House Rules. </p>
<p>The first two rules could be something simple that they already likely would follow - perhaps about returning a key, or turning out lights, that kind of simple thing. Easy peasy.</p>
<p>Then rule 3 is: “No serious, loud or extended arguing allowed in my home.” If you feel the need to explain, write that your pet, on medication, reacts negatively to stress.</p>
<p>When they begin to violate it, interrupt them and ask them if they’re aware they just broke Rule 3. If they have any self-awareness, it might make them stop. </p>
<p>If they begin to argue again, ** turn out the lights **. That reasserts it’s your space. They won’t want to sit in the dark. When they get upset at you over the lights, tell them in a calm voice: “You have a choice: stop arguing, or leave for awhile. Come back when the argument’s over.”</p>
<p>I think they’ll stop because it’s cold outside here in NYC. And they want the free space, besides. If they say they can’t possibly go outside, name the nearest hotel and say “that’s another choice.” They know it will cost them around $200 in this city. They’ll figure it out.</p>
<p>You actually have the right to do this, even if they are family. They need to respect your hospitality.</p>