<p>I never realized this could generate heat, but we’re getting grief about our kids’ summer plans (or lack thereof.) So I hope you don’t mind if I ask for your thoughts. </p>
<p>Here’s the situation - we homeschooled from the time our kids were 6 & 7 until they began college. They both chose to start college a year early, maybe partly because I went off to college at 16 but more because they were simply ready. They earned multiple academic scholarships and are doing well at their university (they decided to attend the same univ. a couple of hours from home, where they share a house.) Due to health problems, dd had to come home her second semester but she has been fine since. Most students there take 5 yrs. to complete undergrad. engineering degrees, but she will finish in 4.5 despite the break. Ds will complete his business degree in 3.5 yrs, so they’ll graduate together this December. Dd has taken classes &/or worked in univ. research programs in previous summers, and ds has taken classes or worked off campus. </p>
<p>This last summer before they complete their degrees, our kids are taking off with our encouragement. Right now they’re overseas (which is one reason I’m online - it’s a good distraction from my silly worries) and having a great trip. Once they return, dd will complete a brief paper for a journal at her advising prof’s request and will work/play on a robotics competition. Ds will probably spend his time cooking (he once wanted to be a chef), working out and playing WoW (which dd will likely devote a few hours/day to also.) Extra sleep will probably factor in sometime, too. We plan to visit a few weekends, and I may go up there to meet with some contractors about future work on the house.</p>
<p>We’ve been questioned by relatives, and dh by co-workers, about why the kids are not required to work full time, with comments made about spoiled & lazy kids today. Good grief. In a short time, they will complete college at 20 & 21. Who knows how many years it may be before they can enjoy such leisure, if ever? Even if they love their work it can still be laden with stress and pressures. When he returns, ds will be lunching with a Big 4 partner to discuss opportunities with the firm overseas, and I hope that his relaxed summer does not become an issue with that guy, too. Would you see this as a negative?</p>
<p>My thoughts: ignore these people. Your kids will have time enough to burn out (I am saying this sarcastically–not meaning that they will, only that they could if they keep on such a hectic pace). As long as the kids realize what a gift this summer will be, and use it accordingly, I feel you/they have to answer to no one.</p>
<p>Thanks, sunnyflorida. I know that we should ignore the naysayers, it’s just tough sometimes. The only ones who really concern me are folks like the CPA partner who may not comprehend a need to just chill for once, and who could play a part in deciding ds’s future career. I’ve actually had to remind dh that our kids are not slackers - it’s all in the comparison. We graduated in 3 yrs. by going full time in the summers, and he worked 20+ hrs/wk all through college, too. The result for me was major stress-induced health problems. I’m glad that our kids are not so driven.</p>
<p>Although it’s never been directly said, in my house students need to be materially productive in the summer. This is normally through 40+ hour/week work, but it would also be fine for us to take classes, study language abroad, do an unpaid internship, full time volunteering, or something similar. I personally wouldn’t be able to stand spending my summer on a hobby, playing a video/computer game, and hanging out, and my parents would definitely not approve. </p>
<p>I see your reasoning, though, and I think it’s very rude for people to make unsolicited comments. If your children aren’t financially independent (i.e. paying for their trip abroad, paying rent on the house they’re living in, and supporting themselves this summer), perhaps the comments about being spoiled and lazy have to do with that instead of being specifically about their summer plans. In the end, it’s your family and your children’s lives. If your family feels that this decision is right, ignore what people say.</p>
<p>I applaud your support for a last summer off! Your kids have worked hard and deserve it. And as far as the CPA goes, your S doesn’t have to go into detail about the sleeping in and WOW. He can discuss the travel he’s done, and then direct the conversation to next semester and beyond. What a gift you’ve given them.</p>
<p>Robi,
I have also been hearing sarcastic comments from “friends” recently. I have a son who will be graduating from an extremely rigorous undergrad program in a couple of weeks, and is heading off to an extremely rigorous Ph.D program in the fall. He worked every summer from junior year in high school through junior year in college, including some breaks. He has been diligent about saving money and his grad school education is fully funded through a fellowship (tuition + yearly stipend). I actually SUGGESTED that he take the summer off and chill out because he is really going to be in for burn-out without some sort of break. I have been surprised by some of the eye-rolling I have encountered when asked what his plans are for the summer. If finances are not an issue for your kids, I would adopt the attitude that my late mother instilled in me when confronted with situations like this…“ignore 'im.”</p>
<p>Congratulations on having such well adjusted, and mature kids. I like luckysmom’s (sorry, that doesn’t work grammatically) suggestion to stick to travel discussion and plans for the future. That might work to fend off the eye rolling of family and colleagues- avoid their topic of slackers and wax poetic about future plans…</p>
<p>Momof3sons, major congrats to your son. He surely deserves to enjoy a break. </p>
<p>Thanks, y’all. Deflect, ignore and change the subject - I need to work on doing all three. </p>
<p>I think that ds will be able to move the conversation from his travel this summer to his desire to spend more time in the same location with the partner’s firm. The man has already indicated that he’s impressed that ds will graduate w/ honors at 20, so even if he does realize that ds is taking off the remainder of the summer I doubt he will really think that ds is a slacker.</p>
<p>To be honest, sometimes I am too darned defensive. Years of having people question & criticize our choice to homeschool has left me expecting negativity when there’s not yet any evidence of it.</p>