<p>I think complaining about dorm food & complaining about airline food is considered “safe, polite conversation” & have never regarded it seriously, as it’s generally just a passing reference. My S considers Sizzler buffet food very bad, so I’ve told him he’s quite spoiled & think he agrees.</p>
<p>So far, my S has not voiced any serious complaints he’s voiced to us about college, but when he was in HS, it really helped both of us when I’d interrupt his stream of complaints early-on by asking whether he was venting or we were working on an action plan. I strongly recommend a similar course & use it with our younger D as well, tho she’s a LOT clearer on whether she’s venting or wants help (generally both are merely venting).</p>
<p>When my D started complaining about stupid stuff the other day, I asked her to stop looking at life as a half empty glass. Start looking at it as half full and quit complaining…It did work- I don’t want her being the half empty kid all her life.</p>
<p>“When I grew up people were starving in Europe, and my parents actually said that to me.”</p>
<p>I always wanted to send them my uneaten liver, but no one would ever give me their address. When I was a little bit older and more mature, I decided that would be cruel.</p>
<p>One way to insure that your kids don’t complain about the dorm food…be a lousy cook. Then they think Dorm food is a pretty good options. At my house, what mom makes for dinner is reservations ;0 I hate to admit it though, Dad is a pretty good chef!</p>
<p>Thats funny blucroo. I thought I was a lousy cook. Thats why my daughter is craving macaroni and cheese instead of eating the salad bar and healthy food they’re serving. Says she can’t stand sprouts and stir fry stuff. Bad mother,bad mother :)</p>
<p>movinmom,
I was also at Dr. Duke’s talk - I bet my H and I were the only parents there that had already been through this process twice with two daughters, although at different colleges. We went because we had heard how great he is. And he was! Gave us info. we did not have despite our going through this before. The beauty of this university where our kids attend is that the school truly watches out for the student. Many colleges do not.</p>
<p>If it’s any solace, I have a friend whose daughter called to whine nearly every night of her freshman year. She resumed that habit when she went abroad. Her parents followed the “Yeah… <em>whatever</em>” method wisely suggested by Susan. ^</p>
<p>She is now in her last year of law school with a whopping, perfect job offer in hand.</p>
<p>Remember when people told you not to worry because there are no first graders who wear diapers? Transitional anxiety is kinda similar.</p>
<p>I also think that we feel the angst of worrying whether the “final” college choice was the right one. We want a happy life for them so when the complaining inevitably starts, it can be hard to just shrug if off.</p>
<p>As the freshman year wears on, I think we adjust to the underlying fear we had about the whole “college application” drama of the previous year. We settle in a bit and become a better sounding board, which is really all they want anyway. This whole process becomes yet another phase in what seems the never-ending job of parenting. And I agree with many posters above who say to let the kids handle the problem, not try to solve it ourselves. Boy was I guilty of that one at first!</p>
<p>I have 2 kids in college…the oldest a real complainer, the younger a suffer-in-silence type. I think the overall experience of “learning to live a new life” is just as relevant for me as a parent as it is for our students. It all reminds me of the concept that you learn in dog training—the owner needs to be trained just as much as the dog!</p>