Harvestmoon, alimony? In what state or condition are people still getting alimony?
Is that not the correct term? Maybe spousal support? I know 2 of my friends are still getting payments from their ex-husbands - not sure for how long that continues but it has been 2 to 3 years since their divorces. One was married to a surgeon and never held outside employment and the other was a part time real estate broker but she never generated all that much income. Her ex husband is a successful business owner. Both were pretty much SAHM’s so it appears to me they were entitled to some form of support.
In both those situations financial support is warranted, whatever you might want to call it. Personally I have not heard of many getting support, other than child support. Glad to hear, as so many women of our generation are impoverished by divorce.
This is why SAHMs are told not to,get a job until after the divorce.
^^^
Yep. And my third girlfriend who went through a divorce is very successful - runs a division of a Fortune 500 company. She did not get anything in terms of support. Actually she claims her husband made out like a “bandit” as she contributed the vast majority of what were eventually determined to be marital assets - and those were split evenly.
She does a lot of international travel and says he even attempted to claim half of her frequent flier miles after reading somewhere they were “fair game.” Scoundrel! 
^Harvest, if H & I ever divorced, you better believe I’d be going after half of his 2 million frequent flier and hotel miles. Yes, he may have accumulated them, but while he was doing that, I was holding down the homefront–on paper, an unpaid position. They are an asset that I feel we both “earned”.
I think that for most of the airlines they are technically not transferrable. But I suppose if there were a court order…
Not sure if my friend’s ex ever got hers.
@greatlakesmom, in Massachusetts alimony/spousal support is still ordered. My husband got hit hard (about 30% of his income and a hefty life insurance policy) for spousal support for an ex-wife who left him with two “adult” children (18 and 20), a disabled brother (Parkinsons), two elderly dogs and their rental house being sold leaving them all potentially homeless and needing to come up with first/last/security on top of the legal fees that were piling up. No notice, just announced at dinner she had met someone else. She always worked off the books for good $$ but was able to plead no income (SAHM) and recent MS diagnosis leaving her disabled. This was 6 years ago, the order lasts until he is 66. Because she truly took him for a run for the $$, its difficult for either of us to find the compassion she deserves given her rapidly increasing MS symptoms.
Frequent flyer miles are an asset and are a fair game. Ditto hotel points and other perks that can be assigned $ value. While they are not transferrable, they can be appraised and one can buy the other’s share with $. Other non-transferrable things like stock options can be placed into a trust for the benefit of the other spouse while the spouse who earned the options becomes a trustee and sells the stock as the options vest (depends on the stock agreement and state laws). I know this crap because I too was “a crying shoulder” for a good friend. A divorce attorney or a divorce financial planner can help figure out exactly how it will be done.
What SS changes were there that affects being able to collect on an ex’s earnings? I thought that if you were married 10 years you could collect on their SS.
I am waiting for some cost conscious CEO to make frequent flier miles earned from corporate travel a corporate asset to be utilized for future business travel.
I had a sister and SIL both divorce in NJ within the last few years. Both receive lifetime spousal support secured by life insurance policies.
^^ @harvestmoon1 It’s already been tried. Back in the early 90s I worked for a major aerospace firm in LA that put together a pilot program to do exactly what you detailed in post #30. We had a whole team, I was responsible for the back end database design and the pilot lasted about a year. At the time, the airlines were more flexible about awarding the miles to the payee versus the traveler. Once they were awarded to the traveler only it became impossible to maintain. And employees hated it for obvious reasons.
I am thinking you could still have the miles awarded to the traveler but have a contractual agreement with them that covered the miles they earned from corporate travel. The employee would agree to use those miles (or a portion of them) towards future business travel.
This would not be a popular policy with employees but think of how many corporate perks have been taken away because of cost cutting. I remember a time when expense accounts were basically unlimited - people would be ordering $400 bottles of wine at business dinners where clients weren’t even in attendance. I don’t think that happens as much anymore.
@rosered55 I don’t understand the car insurance thing.
right now, you have 2 cars and 2 adult drivers on the policy.
after the divorce, you will have 1 car and 1 driver on the policy.
If you’ve been told that your rate will only go down a tiny bit then I’m wondering if the person who did the calculation made a mistake…maybe either kept 2 cars with 1 driver on policy…or kept 2 drivers and 1 car on policy??? Either that, or you’ve had accidents or some other serious driving infraction and your rate by itself is really high.
Or…maybe you’ve chosen a very high deductible??
OR…(and maybe this is why)…your household only has 1 car and 2 drivers, so removing him doesn’t reduce much?
Or…your H’s car is very old, he has a very good record, and is only carrying liability on his car.
Each car and its assigned driver should have a premium broken out on your statement (or online). Is there an amount listed for your H’s car?
We have 4 cars and 4 drivers on our policy…all with equal full coverage, $500 deductible. Each person is assigned a car and there’s a 6 month premium assigned. For instance, our older son’s car/premium is about $900 every 6 months. If we took him and his car off our policy, our rate would drop a lot.
If you have a good driving record, you have a normal deductible, and your H’s car has full coverage, and your agency is still saying that removing your H and his car only reduces your annual costs by a small amount,…then get estimates elsewhere…and bundle with your home…
HarvestMoon, I think keeping the mileage status is the least my hubby’s co can do for him. I often have to pay $10,000 credit card bills and wait 2 months for reimbursement form them… And no, he never flies first class even though he is allowed to. He values his co’s money. Because of his status with the airline, he can cancel and change travel without a change fee. Oftentimes, it happens because his co wants him here instead of there - on a very short notice. Most of his status miles are not flown on business, but the business benefits from his “MVP Gold.”
Anyway, back to the thread’s subject.
Our car and home insurance are bundled. My husband has an older car but a worse driving record. I’ve had one speeding ticket in my life (approximately 20 years ago); he has had three or four, including in the past few years. The “marriage discount” for car insurance has been reported on.
So, your agency is saying that because you’re losing the “married discount,” that is why the rate isn’t going down?
I would find another agency. You’d be a single middle-aged educated lady. That is hardly a high risk driving group
When you look at your current policy, there should be a breakdown for your car and your H’s car.
If your H’s car’s premium is (for instance) $500 every six months for older car, but worse driver, and your car’s premium is (for instance) $500 every six months for newer car, but better driver, then I can’t see why your personal rate would nearly double by losing the marriage discount.
I would shop for another insurance when you are done with the divorce… unfortunately, insurance co’s figure that a recent divorce is a risk factor:
Thanks for all the comments and suggestions!
The divorce was finalized this morning. It is such a relief to no longer be married (sigh, I wish the marriage had been better such that being out of it weren’t making me happy). My ex-h complained some about the property division but I think he got the better deal, especially because he has almost no expenses. (He lives with his parents, who pay all the household expenses, so he’ll have only health insurance, presumably not very expensive at his reported income; and cellphone.) I’m a little worried about my finances but, again, so relieved to no longer have “our” finances; ex-h and his dad have been concealing some of their income.