I’m about to get a divorce and I have been thinking about the things that will cost more, in a sense, once I’m divorced. Car insurance is one; mine won’t go down by half; in fact, it will go down hardly at all. (And I assume the same for my soon-to-be-exhusband’s insurance). And I will be the only one paying the expenses for the house. That’s a biggie.
On the other hand, I have a very strong incentive for the divorce: I will no longer be exposed to the potential legal and financial liabilities of my husband’s job; he works for his father, and his father is doing some shady things.
Are there other financial ramifications I can look forward to, either with hope or with disappointment?
My food costs went up way more than double when Mr R and I started living together so maybe buying for one less (especially a male since they tend to eat more… of course, not always) may save some $$$.
Sending my best wishes during this transitional time.
Fortunately, both our children have graduated from college. I did not trust that my husband would be sufficiently organized to file a noncustodial parent form and so didn’t file for divorce as soon as I wanted to.
“And I will be the only one paying the expenses for the house. That’s a biggie.” - True. In your case that’s a result of divorce. But for other people making a marriage vs living-together decision it’s about the same. If expenses get tight, you could consider renting a room.
Peace of mind is a huge deal. It sounds like you personally will not be getting too many financial breaks because your soon to be ex was not living in the house for most of the time and you kept most of your finances separately, as I understand it from your prior posts.
Good luck.
I had a job two states away for almost two years, and I rented a room during the week from a very nice woman who wound up becoming a friend. If you have a spare room, it’s a great way for you to earn some money under the table. Just make sure you trust the person and that you’re moderately compatible. It’s also ideal if the person goes home over the weekend, like I did.
A divorced friend in LA has also been renting out a room. She calls the person her roommate, and feels comfortable that someone else is around. .
And good luck with everything. I hope your transition is smooth.
Good luck, rosered. I am 11 months into a divorce, hoping it will be final within a month. My financial position was better before I filed, but the peace that my sons and I have now is well worth it. I moved with them into a rental house about a mile away from the marital home. It’s much smaller and not nearly as nice, but we are happy here.
Also wishing you a smooth transition. I have watched and provided emotional support to more than a few of my girlfriends as they went through this process. Their children were either in college or graduated so they were in the same position as you.
All of them sold their marital homes when the divorce was final or within two years of the divorce. They found it was too much to do everything themselves and it absorbed too much of their alimony in maintenance. They downsized but I would say they managed to maintain their standard of living. Have you considered selling the home to ease expenses?
My D1 has said that marrying her long time partner ( 6 yrs) will result in them paying many thousands more in income taxes. I believe it is called the marriage penalty. ( We are not talking a few hundred dollars) So they are not getting married at this stage of their life or career. Maybe if children come, and that is a big question, they will get married.
Doesn’t sound like you can file for head of household, your kiddos are older. Getting married increase what we were paying in taxes considerably. (many years ago when I went from HOH to married). Now I think if I divorced H I would pay less because I would not get hit as hard with the alternative minimum tax. I already buy health insurance for the family so that would not change if we divorced, but it may for you. If your kids are older perhaps you don’t need life insurance.
^My taxes were higher. If I didn’t have kids though, I would have sold the house and lessened that expense tremendously!
Your car insurance should go down quite a bit. Not “half”, but from 2 cars 2 drivers to 1 car 1 driver should be a substantial any. If I dropped a car and driver, mine would be half.
I already called about car insurance. It will go down by $61 per year, not very substantial, unfortunately. There’s a marriage benefit for car insurance.
Might there be implications for Social Security in the long run? Other retirement benefits (pensions?) or savings?
The one thing that struck me when a well-to-do woman I know got the divorce she sought, was that she underscored how much more work she had to do. Not on her job, but rather on all those things that she and her husband had shared prior to divorce. The division of labor is no longer divided.
So, she had to spend much more time taking care of everything (collecting rent from their properties, mowing the lawn, preparing for the holidays, etc.). Time is money.
Perhaps she started to pay for others to take care of some of this work. But, at the point of her divorce she said the extra burdens of taking over her husband’s roles was exhausting.
She did have a full time job. Her career has continued to build and now she has an even “higher” position…along with a new mate.
Her two children were in high private high school at the time, but now they’re sucessfully grown and flown.
Yes, to the extra work. After my ex left, and I decided the hard work of attempting to make it work was over, I had fine time when the ex left. Seeing friends, enjoying life and projects with the kids without fear of emotional fall out. But after 6 months, the amount of work hit me. I had done much of work, and was happy to be in charge of my own finances, also an additional task, but the basement and bathtubs were his jobs, and I really felt burdened by those items.
From that point on, 20+ years ago now, I have felt I needed to work harder than most people with a spouse to keep it together. It was ok, as I chose to keep the house and large yard. But very tiring, especially around the holidays.
I am extra resentful of SS changes, as for those of us under a age deadline, it is the loss of thousands of dollars due to being unable to collect from my ex’s record.
Rosered, the property taxes in our city I feel are based on, besides pie in the sky, double income couples. Those taxes are what made me finally give up my lovely big house.
