<p>I’m a senior in HS right now. My family has always been relatively well off. We make around 100-120k a year and I know that I’m extremely lucky and privileged to be born in a family like this. We do enjoy comforts, but always in limits (never been on a cruise, don’t eat out that often, etc. etc.). </p>
<p>My parents immigrated to the US around 12 years ago when I was 5. I don’t know the full details, but I know that they’ve ALWAYS been sending money back home to India (where the extended family lives). My Mom has three siblings and while money hasn’t been abundant, it’s been enough to get by for them.</p>
<p>Here’s the situation. My parents have sent a TON of money to one of my mom’s brothers in India. Right now, it doesn’t seem like we’re going to get any of it back. In addition, we always have other family members asking for $$. My parents are giving as much as they can.</p>
<p>But I hate the situation. I know that in the future, it’s going to become incredibly difficult for my parents to keep this up. Plus, once they retire, I don’t know how the rest of my family in India will be able live comfortably without the contributions from my parents. </p>
<p>Here’s where I come in (and I need advice). I want to make sure that my parents, my mom’s parents, my grandparents, and everyone else can live in comfort. The responsibility will fall to me. The only way I’ll be able to do it is if I’m earning a surgeon’s salary (300-500k+). I don’t mind medicine that much. Heck, becoming a doctor was my initial love when I started HS. But now, I know that my true passion is physics/astronomy. I want to become an astronaut, or an astronomer, or something along those lines. The max salary for any of these fields will be MAYBE 65k. There is absolutely no way I’ll be able to help everyone in my family with that salary. But it’s what I love.</p>
<p>It comes down to $$$ to support family VS. following my passion. I’m completely confused and I have no clue what to do. Sorry for the rambling. Advice?</p>
<p>Edit: Just wanted to add that my parents haven’t mentioned that they expect anything from me. I just see it as my responsibility in the future.</p>
<p>Bottom line – you do NOT own supporting your entire extended family in another country. Just because your parents have chosen to do this does not mean you should. And how long will this continue – would you then expect your children to continue it? Presumably other family members have had the opportunity to emigrate like your parents did, and have chosen not to.</p>
<p>Are your parents citizens here now? Will they be eligible for social security? Do they have any retirement savings? Do you have siblings? I can see that you may want to help your own parents out. But they need to start considering their own retirement, and not sending all their extra cash back to relatives, except maybe their own parents.</p>
<p>I can’t tell from your posting whether your parents are telling you that you have to take this responsibility, or if you are just assuming that you will. So maybe you should clarify that.</p>
<p>Note that astronaut and astronomer are different jobs.</p>
<p>You can major in physics while taking pre-med courses on the side if you wish to defer the decision.</p>
<p>However, it is unreasonable for your parents to expect you to inherit the responsibility to support numerous relatives to the level where you must seek the highest possible paying job (surgeon, investment banker, etc.) even if it is not something you like well enough to become excellent at (and note that these jobs are highly competitive and involve fierce weeding at every step of the way).</p>
<p>But it is entirely possible that they are not sending as much as it appears to you. Also, of more immediate concern is how much they are able and willing to contribute to your college costs. At the level of income you describe, there will be a substantial expected family contribution (check the net price calculators at various colleges); if they are unable or unwilling to pay that, you need to find colleges where you can get large merit scholarships to attend without unreasonable amounts of debt (which are severely constrain your dreams).</p>
<p>Am puzzled why you would need to earn $300-500K while your parents only earn about $100K+ and are able to live a comfortable lifestyle AND help relatives in India. That’s multiplying the salary they earn by 3 or 5x. Even IF you want to be helpful, why would it need to have the salary get so high?</p>
<p>There are no guarantees in life about salaries of MDs anyway and many people burn out en route to medicine. It is hard enough to go into medicine if you REALLY want it and have a great aptitude for science and all the things required to do well in the field–bad idea to go into it because you feel somehow obligated to provide for your extended salary with your single salary.</p>
<p>Is there a reason your family members in India haven’t been proactive and moved here themselves - as your parents did? I do not understand supporting them if they choose not to work hard enough to follow the lead of your parents to set themselves up to take care of their own immediate family members. Educate me, please.</p>
<p>“Is there a reason your family members in India haven’t been proactive and moved here themselves - as your parents did?”</p>
<p>Immigration policy is tricky and complicated. That one family member has been able to move here does not mean that any of the others will be able to do so as well. Many, many immigrants help support family members in other countries. Some who are able to move here, do so specifically for that purpose.</p>
<p>One thing you haven’t factored in here is the cost of YOU attending undergrad school and medical school. With your parents’ incomes it is unlikely that you will get need based aid. Hopefully you will get really good merit aid. Otherwise, your parents may need to divert some of the money they are using to help relatives in India to pay your college costs.</p>
<p>I think perhaps the reason the OP is quoting a significantly higher salary need is to accommodate his/her loan repayments which could be several thousand dollars a month.</p>
<p>OP…if you are only choosing the surgeon route because of the money, please reconsider. First, there is no guarantee you will be selected for a residency in this highly competitive field. Second…you should be doing this because you want to…not in chase of a high salary.</p>
<p>I think it is very nice that you would LIKE to continue to help your family, but as others have said…this is a choice you need to make yourself. Also, perhaps sending less to some of the extended family may be necessary if you wish to help your parents here.</p>
<p>TEU- hugs to you. You sound like a great kid and I would be proud to have you in my family.</p>
<p>I want to reassure you- this is a way off future problem. You need to focus on your studies and your school work and college- somehow problems like this (become a surgeon or an astronaut) tend to have a way of resolving themselves. You do NOT need to enter college in the US having decided what you want to do professionally (unlike in many other countries). Other than knowing that you are good at math and science and therefore want to pick a college with abundant offering there, you do not need to make any other commitments within the next year or so.</p>
<p>I know plenty of kids who wanted to be astronauts who ended up discovering that a minor medical issue derailed that plan. (Nothing life threatening- but something easily treatable but nonetheless disqualifying.) I know plenty of kids who thought they were going to become surgeons or cardiologists who discovered that they disliked physiology and anatomy but loved (fill in the blank).</p>
<p>I think it’s great you are worried about your extended family but you really don’t need to deal with any of this right now. Focus on being the best HS student you can be right now. The family finances will come into greater focus when you are a little older. You may have a cousin in the mix who is planning to take on some of these responsibilities when your parents retire; your parents may have already put money aside anticipating their reduced income; there just may be other factors you don’t know about right now.</p>
<p>And of course to state the obvious- going into medicine for the money is among the worst possible motivations out there. But you know that. The financial basis for much medical practice in the US is changing rapidly-- you would become a qualified surgeon (i.e. done with training and fellowships and your board certification) in what- 12 years from now? 13? Do you have a crystal ball that we don’t that will tell you what your earning potential will be in 12 years in a field that is changing so quickly???</p>
<p>So relax. You should be proud that you care about your family and want to be responsible but you don’t need to be making any of these decisions right now.</p>